Fate
by Kilarra
Summary: What if Kouichi hadn't missed the elevator? Would he have joined the group and met his brother as a human? Would Duskmon have never existed? Or was there no way to avoid him. Was the darkness already too much a part of him. Was it just... fate
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If I own something, I'll let you know.

* * *

Fate

I've often wondered what would what would have happened if I had made it onto that elevator. If I hadn't fallen down the stairs and into that strange, dark world. If I hadn't left my body in the human world and given Cherubimon my mind. Would I have finally had the courage to talk to Kouji? Would I have just stayed behind with all the others who didn't go to the Digital World? Would Duskmon never have existed if I had been faster when I ran after my twin? I've often wondered if Duskmon could have been prevented, or if, perhaps, it was just fate.

* * *

I was giddy, as I usually was when I stalked him, high off the idea that I would finally meet him. Today was the day. A street corner was no place to bring up such things as a broken family, nor was a flower shop, nor any of the other places. It was obvious I couldn't do it with his _other_ family around. What would I say to them any way? 'Hello, it's your long lost son! I was just wondering if I could talk to Kouji for a bit.' Never mind that it's flat out not in my nature to say something like that. Besides, one step at a time, I _needed_ to talk to Kouji first; after all, he was my twin.

So, here I was, on a train, not quite sure where I was going, my hands clasped above my head, my hat securely on my head, staring at my brother out of the corner of my eye. Every now and then, I'd catch a glimpse of another boy across from Kouji, sitting down and panting. The two pulled out their cell phones, a luxury I couldn't afford, and I say the boy stand up and yell something. He made me want to smile, that boy, but I was too focused on the message Kouji had just received to pay much attention. Vaguely, I wondered if they had gotten the same message, if maybe they were friends, but Kouji wasn't reacting half as much as the other boy, so I dismissed the thought.

The train began to slow and I scampered to the door, falling all over the place and muttering half formed apologies to people who didn't seem to care. As the doors slid open, I caught a glimpse of the other boy staring at Kouji in confusion. Suddenly, people were pouring out of the compartment around me, nudging me every now and then, and I saw Kouji pass, back strait, hands thrust into his pockets. No hesitation, I slid out after him, trailing close behind. After all, today was the day. Besides, I was running off adrenalin by then anyway. He was heading towards the elevator; I was no more than tree steps behind, jogging to keep up.

In what seemed like less than a second, he was at the elevator. I was tripping all over the place from nerves, but still right behind him. Kouji pressed the down button, impatience written all over his face. I was dangerously close behind him, so close I could almost feel his body heat radiating out from him like candle light in the darkness. The thought occurred to me to talk to him right then and there. But no, there were to many people; I could do it in the elevator, when it was just the two of us.

"Kouji." I didn't realize I'd muttered the name aloud, thankfully not at any kind of understandable volume, until he spoke to me.

"You say something," he snapped, not looking at me. Heat was rushing into my face, giving it a tomatoeish shade. My mouth was opening and closing in a most unbecoming way, causing the tomato to darken.

"Oh God, not here, not now, not in front of all these people," I thought, panicking in a very real sense. Perhaps you don't know, but in Japan, such things as blushing, stuttering, or shaking in public are considered as embarrassing as farting while a couple is exchanging wedding vows, especially for someone like me. I had to do something; I couldn't just stand there looking like an idiot. Then the elevator arrived, and Kouji stepped in, pressing the basement floor button, and I followed quickly, glad for the distraction.

"Well," he said sharply, pressing the close-doors button and clearly irritated. I could see his head moving, turning, his eyes seeking to trap mine with that cold stare. He was going to look at me. The thought made me turn even redder, shaking slightly. I couldn't let him see me, not now, not like this. But I was powerless to turn away, powerless to pull my hat down, powerless to tear my eyes from my twin, powerless to speak. The doors were closing, locking me in with him looking as I did. A part of me considered darting out through those doors, back to the safety of outside the elevator, but something came flying through, blocking my path as jerked towards the doors. That something was the other boy, the one I had seen before, panting and slumped against the back wall, his brown hair messed and goggles out of place. Kouji turned his attention to the new boy, giving him a hard look and me a chance to turn my back to him and compose myself.

I let out a low sigh of relief, feeling the redness drain from my face now that I was no longer in the spot light. Staring at the wall, I promised myself that I would make an offering at the next shrine I passed. Granted, I had next to nothing to offer, but the thought made me feel better. Suddenly, I wasn't staring at a wall, but through it, and we were going way deeper than any basement. There were people, kids about my age, milling about several trains, forming a circle around the elevator. Each train was going a different direction, radiating out from the center of the circle like beams of light. They all looked ordinary enough, there was a variety of colors, but the shape was right… and yet, some how, they felt, what's the word, off. Like they were more than just trains. No one else seemed to notice, but I'd always had a sense of what was under the surface, a feeling of what things truly were. Like the boys at school who call me a freak since I'm quiet. Maybe it's true, but I can't hate them for it, after all, they only do it because they're afraid. Afraid of those different from themselves, just like every one else.

I had relatively very little time to take in everything before the elevator crashed into the ground, its doors opening. Kouji was the first one out, his long hair swishing like a tail behind him and I, of course, followed, this time allowing some space between us. There was a voice, female and slightly distorted, coming from the other boys phone, something about choosing a train. As he looked down at the small screen, I slipped out unnoticed like I was so good at, darting to the train next to the one Kouji was considering. He stepped onto the back, gripping the rail as he pulled himself up. My own hands tightened on my train's rail and I felt it jerk as if it was starting to move, pulling me off balance. I collapsed against the metal posts as the train rolled back into place, as if to tell me to get on or let go. The other boy was yelling, chasing after one of the departing trains, the one on the other side of Kouji's actually, as my brother watched, amused. Most people never saw such emotions, at his school people even called him cold, but I knew better. Perhaps I was imagining it, or maybe it was twin ESP, but I knew he was finding this other boy chasing the train funny and, when the boy actually managed to get on, even regarded him with a bit of approval. More than I'd ever got, but I didn't have time to drop into bitterness as my train gave another jerk and I was forced to get on or be left behind.

The speed of the train's take off sent me against the rail again, the metal colliding with my stomach and threatening to send me flying off the back. Gasping, I grouped about behind me for the compartment door, glancing at the strange tunnel the train had entered. After what seemed like minutes, I found the handle and pulled the door open, jumping into the safer environment. The lights were on and the seats comfortable enough, but it was deserted. I looked through all the other compartments too, but there wasn't a sole in any of them. Silently, I cursed myself for not getting on the same train as Kouji; a long train ride with just the two of us would have been perfect. And I wouldn't have been able to avoid a conversation either. There would have been no way for him not to notice me.

That last thought was bitter, as it always was when it floated to my mind. After all, I'd been constantly beside him for how long now? Weeks? Months? A year even? I didn't know any more, but I had come to notice that he had a remarkable talent for ignoring people. But with me, it was different, he didn't seem to even see me no matter how close I got. It was remarkably depressing that the first thing he'd ever said to me was a sharp question. Whether or not I had said something. I sighed, moving to sit down on one of the plush seats when the train jerked again, its frame shaking. The shock sent me to my tailbone, hissing in pain and clutching the wall to steady myself. Then I felt something, within me as well as about me, another presence melding with mine. I felt it sharing my pain and bitterness, feeding it, fueling the hatred already inside of me, but that passes and it became warm, content, painless. That, too, passed and I was left cold and confused, a strange weight suddenly in my back pocket.

Cautiously, I reached into that pocket, my fingers brushing against the foreign object now resting there. I pulled it out, feeling its practical weightlessness before I saw it. It was grey and oddly shaped, roundish and larger at the bottom, where the screen was, than at the top, which held two buttons. The black grips on its sides, warm and made of a material I couldn't quite identify, didn't seem to fit well until it occurred to me that I might be holding it upside down. Embarrassed despite the fact that no one was around, I turned it around and immediately felt exhilarated. It was perfect, fitting into, every curve of my hand as if it had been designed specifically for me; specifically for my hand. "The thought made me giddy, but at the same time uncomfortable. I was never good at accepting presents, partly because it was not in my nature to do so and partly because Mom had never been good at lying to me about being able to afford it.

Besides, if anyone deserved a present, it was Mom. She always worked so hard and she never ever complained about it. 'What will she do when I don't come home tonight,' I thought guiltily. 'I'll have to find a way back as soon as I can.' I'd been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed the sunlight now filling the compartment. Gingerly, I got up, still a little sore from my fall, and glanced out the window. What greeted me certainly wasn't what I was expecting. There was sky, sun light, clouds, but no ground. Looking down all one could see was darkness going down, and down, and down. I looked away, turning my attention to the clouds instead. They were all rather uniform in appearance, like little white ghosts without arms floating next to the train window. Then one of them looked at me, a cloud looked t me, with a tiny little smiling mouth and rather cute little black eyes. I gasped and stepped back, understandably surprised. Then, the train started talking to me.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: I believe I am getting the hang of this. Reviews are very much appreciated! I am also looking forward to reading any constructive criticisms or suggestions for future plot points if you would like to write them. Thank you for reading!

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

"You might want to sit down; it gets a little bumpy up here." I sat, partly because it was polite, and partly because I was too shocked by the talking train to do anything else. For a moment, I thought that the small hill type lump in the tracks was what he meant by "bumpy", then I simply closed my eyes and clutched the pole next to my seat, holding on for dear life. The train was, for lack of a better expression, going all over the place. How it was even staying on the tracks was beyond me, but then again, how the tracks were even there was also beyond me. I had to be asleep, that was the only way this could make sense. It was all just a dream… a very elaborated, complex, realistically painful dream of waking up in the morning, going about my daily chores, finding Kouji at a flower shop and stalking him to the train station. Not likely. Maybe when the other boy jumped into the elevator, he crashed into me and I hit my head. That made more sense; I was just lying on the elevator floor, unconscious. After all, I had always been slightly accident prone. It's not like I was ever one of those kids who always had something wrong with them, but I couldn't ignore the fact that I was frankly frail in build and rather absent minded, leading me into many situations were only my cat like balance had saved me from a rather painful trip.

The train stopped, rather abruptly as if it enjoyed throwing me around, its doors opening. Cautiously, I released my grip on the post and pushed myself to my feet. At the door, I guess I hesitated for a moment to long as I felt a strange tilting, almost a heaving, beneath me. Half a second later, I found myself sprawled on the cool cement ground of some kind of deserted train station. No, not deserted, it was slowly filling with the clouds I had seen outside, floating towards me. I pushed myself into a sitting position, scooting back slightly as the strange creatures closed around me. They didn't seem phased by my action or expression as they closed about me, like a pond of marshmallows. This was not the first time animals had been attracted to me, I had always drawn them and inspired their trust naturally, but it was the first time I had been afraid. My hand reached for the train door, only to pull away sharply as it took off towards a darker part of the station, probably to rest.

"He's a strange looking Digimon,"

"I wonder what he's called,"

"He's not a Digimon, silly. He's a human!" They were… talking. Talking trains, talking marshmallows, what was next? But what really confused me was the subject of their conversation. Digimon? What on Earth?

"Oh! Like the others!" Others? Had Kouji and the other boy come to this strange place too?

"Please," I said boldly, hushing the marshmallows. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend any one but, where am I?"

"You're in the Digital World!" The marshmallows seemed ecstatic to finally hear my voice, causing them to jump about slightly.

"And… a Digimon. What is that?" I asked, my confidence building, fed by theses creatures' innocent nature.

"That's what we are!" They cried out with one voice.

"Do all Digimon look like you? I mean, forgive me, but it you all look the same." They seemed almost flattered, forcing a smile to begin curling my lips. They were so much like young children, so eager to please and be helpful. I was a lot like that when I was young, desperate to receive approval. In many ways, I still was.

"Oh no, there Are many different Digimon. We're Poyomon!" Poyomon, interesting name. I'd never heard anything like it before.

"And you've met other humans like me?"

"Yes, four others. They came earlier and fought a mean Digimon called Cerberumon. Then they went to the forest," One of the Poyomon stated simply, as if such things occurred every day. Who knows, maybe they did.

"Was there one, a human, that looked like me? But with longer hair." I was anxious to know whether or not Kouji was here, whether or not I still had a chance to talk to him. Their little faces scrunched up as though in deep concentration.

"There was a human with long hair…" one started slowly. "But she was a _girl_ human." That made me laugh, a single, short burst of sound that made the Poyomon practically explode with excitement and pride.

"So, there wasn't a boy human with long hair?" I managed to ask after a moment.

"We haven't seen one… but there's another train coming!" One of the Poyomon, the one who had been speaking, jumped up as it did so and landed on my head, nesting itself comfortably on my hat. I smiled and followed the herd of Poyomon to the edge of the station where the ground ended but the tracks didn't. "Look!" cried the Poyomon on my head. For half a second, I looked up at the Digimon, but that was long enough for my rubber feet to trip over each other. Suddenly, the edge was approaching a lot faster, coming at me quickly until I could see the concentrated darkness that rested at the center of this world. A weight lifted from my head as the Poyomon and my hat began to fall down into that darkness. Everything was happening in slow motion, yet faster than anything had ever happened in my life. I didn't think, I just reached out with both hands and caught the small Digimon. My hat continued to fall, unimpeded, into the darkness. Soon it was just a speck of blue, then it wasn't even that.

"Are you ok?" The marshmallow Digimon had enough water in its eyes to flood Japan, its lips… trembling. "Please, don't cry, I'm sorry for tripping. I-" Mid apology, the Poyomon, there's no other way to describe it, hugged my head. For a moment, it wrapped itself around me, its soft, squishy flesh pressed against my face strangely comforting and warm. Then it was over and the Poyomon dropped back down into my open palms, smiling gratefully. "You're welcome," I finished lamely, grinning. The Poyomon returned my grin, still watery eyed with a strange, child-like gratitude. We both seemed to have forgotten that the Poyomon could float.

A sharp whistle shattered the silence that had descended between the marshmallow Digimon and me, tearing my eyes to the approaching train. Panic returned to my mind as the idea that Kouji might be on that train resurfaced. It was irrational, a sort of shadow from the elevator, fear of being recognized as the boy who had blushed in public. Ridiculous as it may sound, the fear was real to me, pushing me into action. "Is there any place to hide here? Somewhere close by," I asked quickly, still clutching the Poyomon to my chest as though it would fall into oblivion and join my hat.

"Don't you want to meet him?" The Poyomon looked rather confused by my request, perfectly understandable, but it wasn't helping my nerves.

"Yes, but… I can't let him see me yet," I tried to explain to the innocent Digimon, not conveying my feelings very well. Once again, their confusion was completely understandable since I didn't get why I was so terrified myself. Long seconds inched by as they thought, making me antsy. I looked over my shoulder at the train, startled to be able to see the faintest outline of a bandana fluttering in the wind.

"It's a game!" one said as though he had just solved the world's hardest puzzle and was quite proud of it. The others about him seemed to be echoing the thought, bouncing about for a moment before bounding back towards the station. I followed, the Poyomon urging me along in a herd of cloud about my knees, occasionally bumping against my calves. "Hide here! Hide with us!" They were all crowded about a dark area between what appeared to be steps. For a moment, I hesitated, not sure I would fit in there with all the Poyomon, but a shriek from the train reminded me just how close Kouji was. "Hurry! Hurry! Hide! He's coming!" I wormed my way into the small space, grateful for my slim body and ropy muscles not for the first time, and managed to turn myself around to face the tracks before the Poyomon piled in about me, creating a tight, but none the less comfy, pillow all around me. The air was buzzing with a strange excitement as the train pulled in. It was contagious; I held my breath as the doors opened. And then… he got off.

It was really rather anticlimactic, though the steam billowing about him from the train helped. Kouji didn't seem to notice, his eyes were fixed on the small, dark spot I was hiding in. He must have seen me while I was still out watching for him. Mentally, I smacked myself for not remembering the cardinal hide-and-go-seek rule: if you can see them, they can see you. I scooted as far back into the shadows as I could, willing myself not to be seen. That was my special talent, the ability to just blend in with the shadows and not be noticed. Kouji made a move to come closer, but stopped, staring down at a small blue and white device in his hand, similar to my own strange device. A slightly distorted voice was emitting from it, to quiet for me to hear. The train beside him might have been able to make it out, but I was to far away and not willing to risk getting any closer.

"Search? For what?" Kouji didn't bother to keep his voice down, he rarely did. The voice was saying something that was causing him to frown slightly. "How do you know my name?" he demanded, his frown deepening ever so slightly as he sated at the device. More words I couldn't understand, and them he spoke again, his voice sharp and cold. "Not good enough. I'm not some lapdog you can just order around y'know." A part of me was left laughing after that comment. Kouji? I may have been meek enough to order around, but Kouji was more likely to bite your nose off than follow your orders. He was more like a wolf than a lapdog. . "What is this spirit, anyway? I mean, how do I know where to look for it?" His voice had lost a bit of its edge, but his frown was still present. No response. His frown deepened. Suddenly, the screen flashed brightly and began projecting two circles, one horizontal and the other vertical, that formed a sphere which hovered above it. A small red dot floated above some kind of platform within the sphere, perhaps marking a point on a map I could not see. Kouji jerked slightly as it appeared, but otherwise gave no sign of his surprise. "What's this?" The train shot steam at him again and departed silently, meaning without saying anything, as mine had. He simply sighed, threw one last look at my hiding spot, and started to walk off towards the other side of the platform, to a place that resembled an industrial village as far as I could tell. "This place gets weirder by the minute."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Apologies for the wait, this particular chapter was hard to maintain drive with. I was a little to caught up with the possible directions I could take this in and forgot to work on the present! But hopefully I have managed to not disappoint anyone and I have every intention of keeping it like that!**

**Disclaimer: Is it really necessary to say that I don't own Digimon at the beginning of every chapter, or can I just put one at the beginning of the fic?**

Chapter 3

I waited until I was sure he had left before I wormed my way out of the cushioned spot, the Poyomon helping a little by streaming out to create more room. Before we had all been smushed together in that not-so-tiny space between the…stairs? I hadn't realized how many of them there were. Needless to say, I now had a full appreciation for the amount of attention I had drawn, and I almost blushed. The spot-light was never really my thing and I hated to be fussed over. A Poyomon landed on my head, the one still in my arms smiling up at the newcomer. A smile curved my own lips as I almost fell over backwards trying to look at the new Poyomon, causing the rest of them to laugh in a child like manner. Another one nudged my leg, blinking up at me as I grinned down at it.

"You forgot to tell us your name!" The request was echoed through the crowd like a ripple in a pond, small, white faces staring at me with hopeful eyes.

"Kimura. Kimura Kouichi," I said, still smiling despite myself. They were so much like puppies and their complete trust in me was fascinating. I'd always engendered trust in others, especially animals and children. For reasons beyond my comprehension, they trusted as soon as they saw me. Mom said it was because of my gentile nature, my desire to 'take care of people'. I new we could never have one; we couldn't afford to take care of it and wouldn't have the time to give it the attention a pet would need. It just wasn't fair to the animal, but still, I couldn't help but want one. There was something attractive about having something to take care of that wasn't my mom. She needed me, that was just the way things were and I couldn't change it.

Kouji had a dog though. I'd seen him taking it for a walk when I say him for the first time outside his house. He'd looked so natural with it, like he was born to have a dog by his side, someone to watch over him and protect him when he needed to be protected. I found myself envying that dog every now and then, envying its place in my twin's life. There were other times I envied Kouji for having someone like that, someone to watch over him. Perhaps, if things had been different in our lives, I would have had him to watch over me while I watched over him. I'd always wondered what that felt like… but such comforts had been denied to me and my mother by the world.

"Come to our home!" The Poyomon's excited voice broke me from my musing, pulling me back into reality (if I wasn't dreaming) where I was still smiling down at them, rather absently now.

"I'm sorry, but I can't," I said gently, the disappointment in their eyes stinging. "I have to go somewhere right now, but I'll come back."

"Promise?" The Poyomon's voice held a child like ring that tugged at my lips even further.

"Promise," I said, nodding down at them reassuringly. They blinked for a moment, then bounded off, the one on my head floating down to join the others, followed by the one in my arms, like two small, marshmallow umbrellas. I sighed, suddenly very aware of the cold spots where the Poyomon had been pressing up against me. A part of me wanted to just forget Kouji and go after them, but I knew that was impossible. I'd found Kouji, but that wasn't enough, I had to meet him, or the reality that my twin never knew I existed would gnaw at me forever. So, moments later, I found myself back on Kouji's trail, watching him as he followed some sort of map, pausing every now and then to look around.

It went slowly, his feet seeming to lack their usual drive and he wasn't half as observant as he usually was, too focused on getting to wherever he was going. This made my job far easier than it should have been, so I decided to try and spice things up by slinking between the large, metal mounds that served has homes for the Digimon, as they were called. Kouji stopped suddenly, forcing me to duck sharply behind one such mound. Two boys ran past an opening to his left, one a few years younger than I and the other about a year older and rather pudgy if truth be told. They were laughing merrily, I could almost see the confused look on Kouji's face even though his back was turned to me, obviously very excited to get wherever they were going. My twin muttered something, and then continued on down the road, his focus returning to the map projected before him. I waited for a second, not wanting to meet my brother by chance or just run into his back. A herd of small, grey creatures with strange, hand like ears that I could only call more Digimon passed, talking loudly about chocolate. And they seemed far less friendly than then the Poyomon.

Continue following my twin, or try and stop this rather murderous looking rampage? I bit my lower lip, the decision far more complex than one might think. My morals told me that those two boys could get hurt if I didn't do something fast, but if I lost Kouji, I might not be able to find him again. Two seconds later, I was running after the herd of Digimon, reasoning that Kouji was like a light house to me and that it would be impossible to loose his trail. "Hey," I called after the mass of grey. "Stop!" They halted reluctantly, throwing me dirty looks.

"What do you want, human," snarled, turning to glare at me with red eyes and a deceptively gentile mouth. The others followed suit, visibly annoyed by my interruption.

"What do you want with those other boys," I asked, surprising myself by how bold and confident I sounded. But my body language must have shown my discomfort since the new Digimon began to smirk.

"None of your business," they shot back childishly, a hint of malice in their voices'. I took a step back in spite of myself, causing them to laugh.

"If you tell me, then maybe I can help," I offered, trying desperately to avoid a fight. They were watching me now, as a predator watches its prey, grinning in a way that made me feel more than a little uncomfortable.

"They have chocolate, we are going to take it," one said simply.

"Have you asked for it?" They laughed insanely at that, rolling back slightly as though they were trying to throw back their heads. Their lack of bodies made this difficult, but I was in no position to point that out. Something told me that I did not want to make these Digimon angry.

"They said that they didn't want to give us any more. So we're going to take their chocolate." This should have been comical, but that was far from the word I would use to describe it. They looked ready to do whatever it took to get the chocolate from the two boys I had seen earlier, even if it meant tearing them apart. Perhaps one alone couldn't do it, but this many… I wasn't going to put it past them.

"It's theirs to give," I said, fairly sure that I would regret it. "Chasing them won't change that."

"How do we know you are really going to help us," one of the grey Digimon demanded venomously, looking ready to forget the other boys and settle for my meat. "Maybe you are the one hiding the chocolate for them!"

"Do I look like I have anyplace to hide it?" I held my hands out to show them my lack of pockets. They began to crowd around me, making me nervous.

"What's that," demanded one of the ones near the front, his eyes fixed on the bulge in my back pocket. I'd forgotten about the strange device I had received earlier.

"I don't really know," I admitted, pulling it out to show it to them. The Digimon looked at it suspiciously for a second, eyes squinted in suspicion.

"Let's go! He doesn't smell like chocolate anyway!" The others began nodding their agreement, much to my relief. Even if I hadn't been able to convince them to halt their pursuit of the other boys, I had at least been able to stall them. "We'll take this anyway!" Before I knew what was happening, one of the Digimon had snapped the black device from my hand, almost taking my fingers with it, and taking off, the device clutched between its sharp teeth.

"But," I protested pathetically, holding my hand before my face to inspect the damage, but they were no more than a cloud of grey on the horizon by the time I got the word out. A sigh escaped my lips as I let my hand drop, not sure if I should follow and try to get the strange thing back, or just find Kouji… again. I found my feet taking me into a forest type area not far off, heading towards an opening in a cliff face. It looked ancient, a passage into the depths of the earth forgotten long ago judging by the vines clinging to its frame. Kouji's voice echoed up to me from the darkness and I slipped into the shadows without hesitation, actually quite grateful for the shade. The light from Kouji's device shone up in front of me, always hovering just out of reach. There were even times when I got close enough to see the way it was illuminating his face. Then he put it away, and there was always darkness. Strange as it may sound, this was actually comforting to me, making my usual routine that much easier. Not in the same sense as before, there was always the threat of being found in the light. Here, in the dark, I felt… powerful, in control, and I liked that feeling. It was something that I had never been aloud to experience before; my life was always been unstable, especially since Grandma died.

My musing was interrupted when Kouji disappeared. I stopped, confused for a moment. Then I heard the sound of feet gently setting down onto an earthy floor a level beneath me, the strangely slanted pole descending past the sharp edge before me becoming all to obvious. Blushing slightly for the tenth time that day, I moved to the cliff, looking down to find Kouji looking out of an arch like opening that was letting in the faintest rays of light. Suddenly, screaming filled the air, cries for help echoing up to me. Without half a second of hesitation, Kouji grasped another pole before him and slid down it with a type of war cry. I followed suit, moving to peer out of the opening to watch as the two boys I had seen earlier being attacked by the grey Digimon I had tried to stall earlier. As expected, Kouji entered the scene in the most dramatic way possible, his feet hitting the floor of the large, bowel shaped room, snapping one of the many slanted poles that punctured the room to form a type of staff. He let the Digimon look at it for a second before he attacked, striking out at them before I could blink.

I knew that Kouji had had about 8 years of kendo training, his dad had been scolding him about not making enough progress on their way to school once, but it had been to risky to try and watch his classes. For the first time I was impressed by Kouji's skill, not his life or personality. He moved fluidly, like it took no effort what so ever to hold himself upside-down on the tip of his staff, then push himself into the air and land weightlessly. The Digimon really didn't know what they were up against, I almost felt sorry for them, almost, but not quite. Something was blooming inside of me, something quite foreign but nice at the same time. As I watched Kouji fight, a smile curled my lips, a sense of satisfaction heating in my stomach. When the last grey head of a Digimon hit the floor, defeated, I realized what the feeling was. Pride. I was, after all, the older twin, as ridiculous as it may seem.

"Oh yeah, human," yelled one of the Digimon right in front of him, looking thoroughly angered. "Don't smile yet!" Blue light surrounded the small lump of grey, tinged with a bit of purple and periwinkle. The strange part was that nothing seemed to have changed when the light receded, at least not from where I was standing. Then it expanded, becoming a towering lump of dark grey sludge with a large, gaping mouth which displayed sharp, displaced teeth. Its eyes were set in strangely metallic slabs of stone above the mouth, long claws perturbing from beneath the sludge in the front, giving it the look of a disfigured seal that had spent too much time in a sea of nuclear waste. Without warning, it regurgitated some kind of glowing slime, spewing it right at the younger boy. Kouji dropped his staff and dove for the kid, knocking him out of the way. The slime burned through the stone floor, creating a Swiss cheese effect about two feet away from my brother.

I bit back a cry as the monster, I suppose it was just another Digimon, began firing the neon slime at my twin, chasing him around like a mouse from a cat as he carried the younger boy. Vaguely, I noticed the various entrances into the chamber and the group of people gathered at one of them, debating what to do. There was the large boy from before, his brown hair short and rather spiky, looking quite ridiculous panting in his blue and yellow jumpsuit. The "other boy" from before, concentrating hard on a device clutched in his brown gloved hand as though it could somehow help. Then there was the girl the Poyomon had told me about, her long blond hair hanging loose at her back, her overall purple outfit bringing out her sky blue eyes. Two Digimon stood with them as well, one like a tall, yellow bunny in red pants, the other white and quite impossible to describe. It had a sort of fin on the top of its head and a knitted pink band about its waist, its large black eyes blinking in confusion, though its face seemed to radiate knowledge. My attention flew back to Kouji half a second later, watching in horror as he backed towards a large hole in the center of the room I had overlooked before.

His foot slipped on the edge, sending him to his knees, still clutching the boy against his chest; I lurched forward and fell to mine, feeling the color drain from my face. Kouji had broken the pole he had used to get down, leaving me trapped up there, helpless. He braced himself for the attack; I dug my nails into the dirt, leaning as far out as I could without falling. There was a yell, I couldn't make out the words, and a blue light radiating from the group of people, but I was too focused on my twin to care. "Agunimon!" That was all I heard before a human shaped figure shot towards the lump of sludge, a mane of straw colored hair flowing behind it, its face framed by a horned helmet, red, white, and yellow armor covering the rest of its body. Flames spewed around it as it knocked the neon green slime from the air before it could hit Kouji or the younger boy. It yelled something, but I couldn't hear anything anymore. My body was ridged with tension and worry, my eyes afraid to blink.

Light suddenly filled the chamber, seeping in through the rapidly expanding holes in the walls and floor, all thanks to the green acid. There was another light, this one the same blue, purple, and periwinkle that had surrounded the grey Digimon before it changed into the sludge, surrounded the new, fire like Digimon, transforming it into the boy with the goggles. He blinked is surprise, obviously not sure why he had changed back into a human. I was completely past shock and surprise by this point, my gaze only noticing his transformation because it happened so close to Kouji. My twin stood up, allowing me to relax, but only for a second. The holes in the walls opened all the way, creating pillars of light that criss-crossed around the chamber and a false sense of security. The sludge Digimon pulled itself up, preparing another attack. I opened my mouth to cry out, but couldn't release a sound, couldn't move a muscle, couldn't tear my eyes away from the slime soaring towards my brother. The other boy tried to shove him out of the way, but only caught the young one. The force of the boy's impact sent my brother of the edge, falling into the darkness.

**Author's Note Cont: Longer than I expected, but once I sat down and started writing, the story just started to flow. You cam kind of tell when my Muse started talking to me. I hope no one is disappointed! I promise to get you the next chapter ASAP!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I'M SO SORRY!!!! I won't give you any bad excuses or anything, but I continue to express my apologies profusely. I hope that this chapter is enough quell your anger and I do promise that it will stray from the script soon. **

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing, but still working on it.**

Chapter 4

"Kouji," I shrieked, my body lurching forward as though it thought I could some how catch him. Before I knew what was happening I was falling, falling very quickly towards the ground 100 meters away. There was no way I could have survived it, and even if there was I was in no shape to perform such a miraculous act. My twin was the strong one; he worked out and stayed in shape. I was by no means fat, I could walk like none other and my arms were strong from carrying groceries home while my mom worked. But I was doing neither of those things, I was falling and didn't know how to stop. Wildly, almost on instinct, I reached out and grabbed the pole Kouji had used to lower himself before, gripping it tightly with one hand. It burned, like my palm was trying to grasp flames instead of metal, but I didn't let go. A burnt hand I could handle, I knew plenty about medicine. Between me and my mom, we could probably get a medical degree. I was never really interested in pursuing that particular profession, but when you live the way I do, you pick up on certain things, and you learn to take care of yourself. Yes, the hand I could handle, it was death that I feared.

No one herd my yelps of pain as I slowed myself, they were all too focused on my brothers yells as he fell into the abyss. I closed my eyes, praying he would be okay, willing him to live. There had been no day light coming from that hole before, so it had to have some kind of floor. Kouji was smart, he knew how to survive a fall, and at any minute he would be landing and attempting to climb back up the wall. All I had to do was wait for a few minutes and his head would pop up out of the floor and he would pull himself up, dusting dirt from his pants and shirt. Soon, his screaming would stop and he would swear loudly, cursing the boy who had knocked him out of the way. I had to remember to thank that boy for Kouji, since his pride would never allow it. After all, regardless of the results, he had tried to save my brother.

His screams stopped, but there was no swearing, no cursing, no sound at all. Timidly, I opened my eyes, watching the hole, waiting for Kouji to emerge. In a way, I guess he did. Every single light from every single hole in the ground pointed to where Kouji had fallen, like some kind of message from the Heavens. Something was rising up from the dark depths, slowly entering the light. My arm hurt terribly and my palm was excreting something warm and wet, but I couldn't move. All I could do was watch as something that was and wasn't Kouji floated out of the hole, its white armor gleaming, the blue and white ends of a scarf waving behind him like twin tails. Its face was strangely wolf-like, unfamiliar, but in the eyes I could see Kouji. And he was smirking.

The strange creature, I wasn't sure if it was another Digimon since it was Kouji too, floated up , then back down, landing gracefully before the mountain of acid spitting sludge. The other kids were saying something, but I was too focused on this creature of light to notice. Kouji was still smirking, though the creature's face remained calm and cold. Faster than he had fallen, Kouji pulled out something and preformed a complex series of movements with it. A blade of light erupted from the hilt in his hand right as the sludge began shooting more green acid at him. He cut through it easily, like it was no more than air, his eye's almost laughing at the look of shock on his opponents face. The sludge didn't have a chance, not against my brother, not when he had that look in his eyes. I had seen it only a few times before, when our dad had pushed him just a little too far. It had left before Kouji ever did or said anything, but dad never brought up another criticism after he had been on the receiving end of that particular look.

I blinked and he was in front of the sludge, then he was above it. He drove his blade into the crown of the sludge's head, if you could call it that. A bright, periwinkle light surrounded the creature before Kouji as it shrieked in agony, the same light that had surrounded the small Digimon prior to it's transformation. My arm was really beginning to hurt now, the puss from my burnt hand forming a wet trail as it made its way to my elbow. Kouji pulled out his blue and white device, the one that resembled mine in every way but color, and he... it's hard to explain. He ran it across the periwinkle ring that now surrounded the dark form of the Digimon, almost like he was scanning it.

"Yeah! Now you're a talking trash heap," he said in a voice not quite his own. "Prepare to be recycled! Fractal code… digitized." The Digimon let out one last scream, then was reduced to a small ball of light, almost egg shaped. It just floated off, out one of the holes in the wall, as that same periwinkle light surrounded the creature, turning it back into Kouji. He was on his hands and knees, panting. The other boy with the goggles walked over to him, extending one hand.

"You ok? Let me help you out," he offered, reaching for my brother.

"Don't touch me," Kouji snapped, shooting the boy a dangerous look and causing him to jerk back, as though my brother was some kind of wild dog that had just snapped at his hand. "I don't need your help. Or anyone else's," he continued indignantly, pushing himself up as if to prove his point. "But I guess I should thank you for saving me." I was shocked to hear that, especially since he was Kouji, after all. I'd never herd him say thank you before. Then again, I never say him let others help. "I always repay my debts."

"I didn't do it so you'd owe me, you know," said the other boy, sounding almost as shocked as I was, but not for the same reasons.

"My name's Minamoto Kouji. And you are," he trailed off, giving the boy a half look over his shoulder. "So, are you gonna tell me? I can't repay you if I don't know your name."

"I'm Kanbara Takuya," the boy said, rather reluctantly.

"Takuya, huh? See ya," Kouji said carelessly, giving Takuya a half wave over his shoulder and just walking off. After about ten paces, he stopped, reached down to pick something up off the ground, and looked at it. It took me a minute to realize that it was my own device he was holding, dropped by one of the head-like Digimon when he was throwing them around. If I hadn't been watching him, I wouldn't have noticed him slip it into his pocket and keep walking.

"What's his deal," asked the large boy in the blue and yellow jumpsuit, frowning at Kouji's back.

"Come on guys, lets get out of here," said the girl, gagging slightly as she sniffed the air. "This place smells like dead fish." I watched them leave, vaguely surprised that they hadn't seen or heard me. Then again, that had always been my special talent. My arm was really starting to ache and burn from just hanging there. It hadn't been more than five minutes at the most, but muscles weren't trained for this kind of thing. Like I said before, I could carry groceries and walk, that was really the extent of my physical ability. I swung my other arm up above the first, grasping the pole with it while trying to grip the pole beneath me with my knees. The moment my injured hand uncurled, I slid about half a meter in the wrong direction. My hand clenched about the pole again, screaming in protest, but at least I wasn't falling any more. Timidly, I looked down, then back up at my destination, bringing my good hand above the injured one and trying to pull myself up. I would have succeeded if my injured hand had complied when I told it to grab the pole above my other hand. Unfortunately, it did not, causing me to slide about a meter down. Now both arms were screaming in protest and my hand was throbbing.

I looked down again, wondering if it would be any easier to head for the ground floor. Kouji hadn't taken out too much of the pole; I could still make it down alive as long as I did it slowly. Then again, I could do it quickly if I had something to wrap my hands in. Gripping the pole tightly with my burnt hand, I bit the fabric of the cuff of my shirt, pulling my hand in. My other hand was still pussing, so when I switched my hands I tucked it close to my chest bracing myself for the ride. It was slow at first, barely a snails pace, then I started to loosen my grip with both my hand and my knees, closing my eyes. Had both hands been all right, then I probably could have made the climb, I did take the required gym class at my school, but with one hand grudgingly accepting my commands, there was no way. Though it felt like a million km per hour, I probably wasn't moving half as fast as Kouji had been, which was fine by me. My knees fell off the bottom of the pole, forcing me to use my bad hand to stop myself before I landed on the sharp leftovers on the ground. I swung slightly to avoid them, and found myself flying through the air and towards the ground. Oh well, better than having to land on the stubby end of the pole. I bit back a small cry upon landing, scrunching up my face and arching my back as I waited for the ache in my tail bone to pass. That other boy, Takuya had gone in the passage to my right while Kouji had taken the one directly behind me. Kouji was the one I was trying to talk to, though I did want to thank Takuya for saving my twins life. After a moment, I pushed myself up and headed for the passage behind me, reasoning that Kouji was harder to track. Takuya was like a flare, and about as easy to miss. I could always thank him later.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Ya! Another chapter! I'm sorry to report that there is not much action here, but plenty of character development and getting into Kouichi's head. And a bit of cuteness near the end. Injuries are probably slightly exaggerated, but are based off my own experiences with burns, but those were ropes. Please don't eat me if you find a few things that are completely off, I do try to do research, but don't always succeed. P.S. If you're liking this fiction, may I suggest Lullaby as well. I've been told that it is very emotional. **

**Disclaimer: It's too early for me to think of a smart disclaimer right now. I own nothing. **

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Chapter 5

My hand hurt, that was the only way to describe it. It didn't sting, or burn, or prickle, or stab, or shoot. It just _hurt_. The puss had begun to form a type of yellow scab on my palm and fingers, which I should have been grateful for. I couldn't really move my fingers or close my hand because of it, and the thing would crack every time I touched something, making that hand practically useless. "At least it won't get infected as easily," I reasoned as I made my way silently through the dark passage way, heading towards what I hoped to be an exit. There was a light up ahead, so that should have been a dead give away, but I had learned that things were not always as they seemed. People turning into strange, human like creatures and Digimon changing into large, acid spitting piles of sludge. Not to mention talking trains and lights that defied optics. No, this was definitely not a place to let one's guard down.

The tunnel began to slope upwards, bringing me closer to the light. I squinted my eyes, trying to shield them with my good hand. My eyes had always been slow to adjust to the light, the price I paid for my unusually excellent vision in the dark. But as long as I didn't go running into daylight unprepared, I never got headaches. There were trees up ahead, and someone lounging beneath one close to a clearing. Kouji, my twin. In spite of myself, I gasped when I say him, though I knew it couldn't have been anyone else. He was sitting down with his back against a tree, staring up at the sky. His face was blank, his eyes pensive. I moved to the mouth of the cave, sliding down the wall until I was in a similar position, watching him from the shadows.

'Now's the perfect time,' I thought suddenly. 'Just walk up and talk to him, it's that easy!' I frowned in determination and began to get up. Then another voice stopped me.

'And say what,' it demanded coldly. 'Hi, I'm your long lost twin brother. We were separated at birth and I only know about it because our grandma told me. She's dead now, had to tell me on her death bed, but I just wanted to say you were great back there!' The voice had a point, it sounded ridiculous. 'He would just laugh and leave. Or freak out. We have been stalking him.' Also true.

'Exactly! We've got to stop following him around,' exclaimed the other voice. 'And he wouldn't laugh at us! He _is_ our twin brother, he must feel something too.' I sighed, only mildly disturbed by the arguing voices in my head. I had given up on sanity a long time ago. My fingers flexed slightly, as fingers sometimes do, even without the consent of their owners. Wincing, I looked down at my palm, cursing it silently. New puss was flowing from the burn to fill in the newly made crack. 'He might even have something for this hand,' said the voice persuasively. That was true also. I'd checked my pockets earlier, but found nothing but my ticket stub and about 500 yen. Neither did me much good. The determined frown back on my face, I pushed myself to my feet at about the same time Kouji started heading off to the horizon.

Just my luck. Oh well, we didn't appear to be leaving anytime soon. I'd have plenty of time to talk to him later. If I could keep up. That thought came to me twenty minutes later as I panted behind my brother. He seemed unfazed by the hike to the train tracks, but I couldn't see his face. And it was getting dark, three moons rising to the East. One yellow almost like a harvest moon, and huge beyond all reason. Another was pinkish, not like anything I had ever seen in nature, but it was about the size of the moon I saw at home when the nights were clear enough. The third was green, a pale, lime green, like a small bud in the sky. And the stars! I had never seen so many in my life! Mom and I rarely left the city, and when we did it wasn't quite what one would call a quiet camping trip. I've heard that way out in the country side, the sky was filled with this many stars all the time, and a full moon was bright enough to light even the densest forest. That's what Mom told me any ways. She would have loved it there, staring up at the three moons; we could have just looked for hours.

Kouji had different plans though. He was standing over by the train tracks, looking around for the light of an approaching train. A horn bellowed in the distance and Kouji took it as a sign that he should step on the tracks and use his body to stop the upcoming train. 'Typical Kouji, thinks he's immortal,' I thought, moving a bit closer. The cover of the trees was lost, but his eyes were too blinded by the fast approaching light to see me over in the shadows. It was getting closer, and Kouji was still just standing there, staring down the train. Closer; he didn't budge. The train was about to run him over and Kouji was just standing there! I found I couldn't move either, couldn't force myself to run and shove him from the tracks. Desperately, I cried out, yelling at him to move, but my voice was drowned out by the screeching of breaks. Kouji was still just standing there, staring right into the train's light. My legs began to wobble beneath me, forcing me to my knees in the grass. 'Thank goodness.'

"Yo kid! What were you thinking," screamed the train, its front opening and closing like a mouth. "I could have run you over in two seconds flat!"

"The Forest Terminal," said Kouji calmly, ignoring the trains comment. "Can you take me there?"

"Sure thing kid," the train groaned, obviously tired. "It's my next stop." The doors opened along the train's body and Kouji turned away from the trains face… and looked right at me. I froze, trying to sink into the darkness, disappear, role over and die, anything but let him see me. There I was, on my butt now, eyes wide, face terrified, and hand bleeding again. Not a pretty picture. So I did what any normal person would have done, I froze. But he didn't say any thing to me, or even acknowledge my presence. Instead he just kept on turning, placing his feet carefully and staring down. It took me a minute to realize couldn't see a thing, probably due to a combination of the darkness and his staring contest with the light, and was just feeling his way towards the compartment. I sighed in relief, almost managing to relax. He turned his back to get in the compartment and I took the opportunity to dart into the one behind his.

"Now this is familiar," I breathed bitterly as the doors closed and I slunk over to Kouji's own compartment. The doors slid shut and I distinctly heard the train mutter something about never getting a vacation or enough off time as it began to move. For a moment, I lost my balance, but wasn't about to be thrown to the floor by a crazy train again. My twin was sitting down, facing me, but he still didn't see me. He was holding his device out in front of him, as though he was trying to understand what it was. Like mine, it fit just perfectly in his hand; every curve sculpted perfectly, all angles melted away into the flesh, until the two were only distinguishable by color. His lips were moving, as if he was talking to it again, then rolled his eyes in a 'whatever' kind of way and slipped the device into his pocket. A look of mild surprise came onto his face as his hand moved around in his pocket, curling around something and withdrawing it.

It was my device, the twin of his own, but black. It, too, fit perfectly in his hand, but not. True, the curves fit perfectly, the angles melted away into the flesh, and the only thing distinguishing hand from device was color. But there was something about it that was just- just wrong. I could tell he felt it too, by the way his grip tightened, then slackened as if he wanted to let go but couldn't. And I felt it reacting to his skin, almost like he held my heart in his hand. It scared me, it scared him, but we were connected now, in a new and strange way. He was holding a piece of me, a piece I didn't know existed from a boy he didn't know existed. I closed my eyes, trying to break whatever was between us, but the scene didn't fade into darkness like it should have. Instead it got sharper, like I was right next to him, or him to me.

There was pain on his face, fear in his eyes, and confusion… or was it my face. I couldn't tell, the distinction was lost. His eyes close for a moment, like he was relaxing into this, whatever this was. And I knew that, if only in that moment, he could see me, feel me beside him. That moment was perfect. Then he pulled back, his eyes snapping open, his body jerking. He was afraid, surprised, confused. Anger boiled up inside of me, from a place I hadn't truly been aware of until that moment. Kouji had always ignored me, turned away, refused to see me, even when I was literally right in front of him. Now he was doing it again, and I was done tolerating it. My hands were clenching, my features twisting into a scowl, heat rising in my face. Suddenly, Kouji dropped my device, almost as if he could feel my rage radiating from it. Good. He held his hand before his face, inspecting it. My own clenched. I turned away from him, walking over to the nearest seat to sit down.

If he was going to be so oblivious to my presence, then why should I acknowledge his at all? Darkness had fallen outside my window, soothing my mind and cooling my anger into indifference. That was right, if he wanted to sit there and pretend that I didn't exist, then why was I so determined to do any differently? Slowly, my eyes began to close, my body relaxing into the crimson cushions. True, the cabin was flooded with light, but outside there was simply the darkness and the moons. That was enough to let me sleep. In the morning I would have to go back to caring, back to feeling, but… if only for a moment, I could let myself just be numb and sleep. 'I wonder, what would it be like to live like this?' The thought brushed my conscious mind as it was retreating, the words little more than an echo. 'It must be nice.'

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The dawn came faster than was welcome, pulling me from my comfortable state of dreamless sleep before I was ready. I found myself curled on my side, my knees pulled close to my chest and my hands before my face. My injured palm was beginning to look red and was feeling fairly sore. That was to be expected, but I couldn't help but sigh in disappointment. A part of me had been hoping it would have just healed over night. With my good hand, I pushed myself into a sitting position, not trusting my muscles yet. The sun was just beginning to peer over the horizon to the East, but it had been enough to wake me. I had always been one of those people that could sleep through anything except sunlight and was the prime example of an 'early-bird'. At some point in the night the train must have stopped and, well, I guess it just went to sleep with me inside of it. The lights were all off and there was a strange sound reverberating through the cabin, almost like snoring. It brought a smile to my lips, even though my brain wasn't quite ready to understand any form of humor. 

I got up, took two steps towards the door, then tripped over my own feet and fell over onto the seat across from me. Obviously, my feet weren't ready to support my weight. Two seconds later, I tried again, this time actually making it to the door. It didn't open. I looked for a handle, but there was nothing of the sort. "Ummm," I tried, figuring that if the train could talk to me, then I could talk to it. "Excuse me?" No response. "Excuse me, could you let me out please?" Still nothing. Hesitantly, I knocked on the door. This time I got a huge response, something along the lines of a spasm, though I'm not sure if you could describe it like that. The train sort of jerked, sending me to my butt… again, and the lights came on, blinding me. I pushed myself up again, frowning slightly.

"Who's that?" If I hadn't already accepted the complete insanity of this world, I would have been surprised by the voice that suddenly filled the compartment.

"I'm sorry," I said meekly, not sure what I was supposed to be addressing, so I just started talking to the wall.

"What exactly do you think you're doing? Why are still here?"

"I'm sorry, I guess I just fell asleep before you stopped."

"You woke me up!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I tried to explain what I was doing on the train while trying not to offend anyone- thing- Digimon maybe?

"Get off!" There was that strange heaving sensation again and the next thing I knew, I was on some kind of terminal next to a giant tree and the train was moving off, griping about humans and his lack of a good nights sleep. I really had tried to apologies, but I didn't think he was in much of a mood to listen. Some people just don't like mornings. Groaning, I managed to getup without falling over again, rubbing my sore shoulders. There was Kouji, sitting on the bench; no, not sitting, sleeping. His chin was against his chest, his arms folded, his eyes closed. If I was anyone but me, I wouldn't have known he was asleep. But it was me, and I could tell. His muscles were abnormally relaxed, his breath deep and regular. He looked peaceful, kind of like my mom when she fell asleep at the kitchen table while doing the bills. I always hated having to wake her up when she looked like that, but whenever I didn't she was always terribly sore the next day. Mother was always so stressed when it came to the bills, especially when her jobs were barely paying enough to pay them and feed us. There was even a time a few months ago when she was trying to do three jobs at once, but the hours conflicted and she had to drop one. I couldn't help but wonder how she was doing… and hope she wasn't too worried about me. I'd never been gone for so long before.

Kouji looked just like her, his hair, his eyes, the shape of his face, and I suppose I did too. Vaguely, I wondered if I looked like that while I was asleep, like there was nothing wrong in the world. Last night, I was mad at him, but I couldn't quite remember why. And now I found I couldn't summon up so much as a drop of bitterness, not when he looked like that. Cautiously, I approached him, trying hard to be silent but not quite succeeding. Luckily, he appeared to be a heavy sleeper, and barely stirred as I kneeled before him, staring intently into his calm face. There was a thin lock of hair hanging across his fore head, a single rebel against his dark blue and white bandana. Hesitantly, I reached up and brushed it from his face, tucking it affectionately behind his ear. He stirred at the contact; I bolted away towards the tree where an arch like opening almost like a door was waiting for me to hide in. From the shadows, I watched his head rise from its resting position against his chest, his arms unfolding. Kouji looked around, his eyes staring intently at his surroundings. His hands checked his hair and, finding the rouge lock, redid his bandana. Perhaps he went back to sleep for a few hours, or maybe he just sat there and watched the sunrise. I can't say I know. I started up the stairs I found inside the tree trunk before he had a chance to look behind him and find me staring.

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**Author's Note 2: Are these actually making it onto the documents? I have been writing them, but am no good with computers.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: I come to you at six in the morning to tell you that I am, in fact, not dead. I'm afraid that I got a terrible cold and my Muse left me for about a month. Then, when she came back, she deiced to devote all her energy into singing. Now, I love to sing, but I also love to write, so I sort of had to put my nose to the grindstone on this one. I wish I could say that you can expect things to speed up, but I don't make promises I can't keep. I shall definitely try though!**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything, try me next week.**

Chapter 6

There's really nothing quite like being at the top of a tree at dawn. When the sun began to just peak over the horizon to the East, bathing the world in crimson light. Every line was sharpened, every color given a garnet hue. Time seemed to stop as I stood there, just marveling as the light and dark faced one another, for one beautiful moment balancing each other. The tree limbs, deep brown and bare stretched out before me, like a wooden pathway into the light. I shrank away right as the thought occurred. Pain shot through my eyes, forcing me to flinch away from the glowing orb, the new heat searing my skin. Desperately, I scooted backwards towards the massive truck, seeking the cool, welcome shad and gentile darkness. The light followed, reaching towards me persistently. Then the moment was broken, and the sun changed from crimson to golden, its light withdrawing. Slowly, I opened my eyes, blinking in the new brightness and moving forward away from the trunk. Despite my… discomfort, I couldn't help but acknowledge the scenes beauty.

For a moment, I just stared at it, vaguely wondering if the dawn looked the same in my world. Truth be told, there were times when I was up before the sun, but I'd never just sat and watched the dawn. There was never time. There wasn't time then, either. Regardless of the view, the fact still remained that I was stuck up in a tree, a giant tree, with Kouji behind me, liable to wake up at any moment, and a 25 meter drop in front of me. There had to be some way to get down without tearing my already burned hand to bitts. I held it up to examine the damage, a part of me still hoping that it had just healed up without scarring. No such luck, it was still as scabbed and useless as it had been the previous night, there was absolutely no way I could have used it to climb down. But there had been stairs up here, right? A blush rose in my face as I turned around to see a flight of stairs coiling down the massive trunk. I was seized by the sudden urge to ram my head into one of the massive branches, but instead elected to simply start down the stairs, feeling thoroughly humiliated once again. Perhaps there was a village or something similar at the trees' base, and maybe they would be willing to help me.

My stomach growled a quiet reminder, pushing me into a slightly faster pace when I thought of the promise of food. It had been about 12 hours since I had last eaten and that hadn't been anything larger than a small bowel of rice and a thin piece of fish. In my haste, I slipped, sliding down the last five steps and letting out a sort shriek of surprise and pain. 'I really should avoid stairs' I thought, rubbing my backside as I got up. 'Why am I so clumsy all of a sudden? I must just have woken up too early.' The world was a warm gold now, but its richness was fading faster. It couldn't have been past seven in the morning at the latest. My face flushed again as a small, flower like face peered at me sleepily out of a small hut imbedded in the roots of the giant tree that hadn't quite buried themselves in the earth. The Digimon, as I assumed it was, was looking curiously at me, smiling ever so slightly in amusement.

"I'm so sorry, I did not mean to wake you," I apologized profusely, bowing deeply. The Digimon ignored my apology, instead electing to head back into its hut, a bright smile on its… lips.

"We have a guest!" The shrill and unexpected voice sent me about ten centimeters into the air, almost causing me to fall onto my face since I hadn't yet straightened from my bow. And I thought I had been loud when I'd fallen down the stairs. "Please, you must come in!" The Digimon was now standing at the door, surrounded by several others of the same kind. They were all smiling eagerly.

"No, that's very kind, but I couldn't possibly intrude. I was just passing through and was wondering if maybe you had something to treat burns." About two seconds later, I found myself seated in one of the huts with a steaming bowel of 'clam fruit soup' in front of me, surrounded by no less than five eager Floramon, as they were called, waiting for me to make any additional needs known. Three more were out gathering various herbs to help with my hand. "Please, this really isn't necessary," I tried to protest, but the Floramon would hear none of it.

"No, you are the first guest we've had all year," insisted the Floramon who had given me the soup. "It's our pleasure." I sighed in defeat, deciding that, since they were offering, I might as well quiet my stomach. It was one of the most amazing things I had ever tasted, and I could tell by the way the Floramons' faces lit up that it showed in my face. "You like the soup," asked one hopefully.

"It's remarkable," I admitted, a little shyly. "How do you make it? I don't see a fire or pot anywhere."

"We use our heads," explained the Floramon to my right, two petals opening on her head to reveal a small cavity. She placed a 'clam fruit' inside and began to sing and dance around. "When you take a little clam fruit and you mix it in your stew, you make the most delicious soup, the flavor's never dull. We shake our heads both up and down and sing this song more tuneful, a little bit of us resides in every yummy spoonful!" Then she poured the newly made, steaming soup out of her nose… and into my bowl. I'll admit, it was difficult, but I managed to control my expression long enough to shove a spoonful into my mouth and grin. Truthfully, I was in absolutely no position to complain about where my food came from or how it was made. "Don't worry," reassured one of the Floramon, smiling helpfully. "There's plenty of soup if you want more."

"No, really," I protested as the Floramon once again filled my bowl to the brim. "It's all right, I can't even eat this much!"

"Do they starve you in your home?" The Floramon's voice was completely sincere, filled with surprise and concern.

"What, no," I said automatically, as shocked by the question as the Floramon by my statement. "I mean, we don't eat a lot," I tried to clarify. "But it has nothing to do with trying to starve ourselves. We just don't have a lot to eat." Instead being comforted, the Floramon looked scandalized, one even fetching another bowl and placing it in front of me.

"You poor child!" One exclaimed, filling the second bowl. "No one should have to live like that."

"I never really thought about it," I said, absently spooning some of the soup into my mouth, chocking on it as it burnt my tongue. "I mean, I never really considered myself poor, after all, I got everything I needed. I don't know, it always seemed like it was enough, at least, that's what I used to think, before Grandma died."

"Explain."

"Well," I started, honestly welcoming the chance to talk to someone. "It's always been just me and my mom, just the two of us in our apartment; Grandma lived a few blocks away, but she visited a lot, mainly just to help out Mom I guess. It wasn't until after she died that I saw how… stressed Mom really was. She always tries so hard for me, to give me the best life she can, and she never complains. But then the bills started to build up, and Mom had to take a second job just to try and get rice in our bowels. I felt, feel, like I needed to do something for her. So I went to go find _him_."

"Who," asked one of the Floramon. They had all sat down around me, like children at story time, but I can't say I was paying any attention.

"You see, on her death bed, my grandma told me that I had a brother, a twin. She told me to find Kouji. Now that I think about it, I really shouldn't have listened to her."

"Why?"

"Because before I saw Kouji, I was completely oblivious to the quality of life me and Mom were living. I thought we were really well off, all things considered, but I was wrong. Kouji has everything, everything. We barely manage to get by. At first, I thought that maybe I could make us a family again, but if Kouji and _his_ dad cared about us, then they would have come to our pathetic excuse for a doorstep and offered to help." Even I was shocked by the words that came out of my mouth, stunned by the bitterness I could hear in them.

"Did you ever ask them? It seems a little unfair to just assume all of this."

"I know, but I can't talk to him. I'm afraid. He's here," I breathed, closing my eyes. "Here in this new, strange world and I still can't bring myself to talk to him. I want to, please believe that I want to talk to him, but I just can't do it."

"Maybe we could find him," offered one of the Floramon. "Bring him here. Then you two could sort things out."

"No," I practically shouted, standing up. "He can't see me; he can't know I'm here. Promise me that you won't tell him I'm here. Don't let him see me," I begged, staring at the Floramon intently.

"All right," said one reluctantly, looking like someone who knew they were doing the wrong thing and hated every second of it. "But you have to promise us that you _will_ talk to him, if not now then soon."

I nodded fervently, slowly unclenching my fists. "I just need more time."

"All right!" We all started as the new Floramon burst through the door, shoving herbs into her head as she marched over to me. "Theses should do the trick! Let me see that hand." Obediently, I extended my burnt hand to the Floramon, who grabbed it and began to examine it. Then, without much warning, she poured a warm, green liquid from her nose and onto my hand. I flinched, but didn't pull away, forcing myself to stay still. I learned long ago that pain is a fundamental and unavoidable part of life, especially mine. She stopped after a few moments, using her leaf-like hand to smear a dark brown paste onto my palm over the burns. It was quite a revolting substance, thick, cold, smelly, with a strange texture somewhere between peanut butter and molasses. But it soothed the pain away completely, I could even feel the swelling begin to go down as the heat of infection chilled. As soon as the paste was on, my hand was wrapped in a long strip of what appeared to be cloth. "All done!"

"Thank you so much," I said, bowing slightly. The Floramon beamed and returned my bow. "Please, is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"No, no, it's our pleasure."

"Please, there must be something I can do," I insisted, smiling softly. My earlier outburst was already forgotten.

"Wellllllll," one said, glancing out the window. "If it's not too much to ask, could you help us replant our garden. As you may have noticed, it is not in the best of conditions."

"I would be delighted," I said. 'How hard can gardening be?'


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Reports of my death were exaggerated, but only slightly. After ten weeks of no-day-off, non-stop-projects/essays school, I had a creative build up the size of the Pacific Ocean, so I'm going to apologies up front for the length, grammar/spelling errors, rushed nature, and any over all badness, but I just had to get it out! It was driving me insane! Anywho, I'm rambling now, so I'll be quiet and let you read.**

**Disclaimer: I owneth nothing, rien! Owneth nothing I? Nothing owneth I? I nothing owneth? Nothing I owneth? Owneth I nothing? Oh, whatever, you get the point. **

The sun was hot, causing a fine sweat to breakout all across my skin. Well, how was I supposed to know that gardening was such hard work? It's not like I'd ever had a garden over a quarter meter big at best. And that garden never held more than a half dead bonsai tree. Not very impressive, but at least I was trying. I thrust the shovel into the ground, then pulled it back out, hoping to bring some dirt with it. All that came out was the shovel. Trying... and failing. I sighed, staring at the shovel in defeat.

"How's it coming?" I started, but managed to smile at the Floramon, in a half hearted, exasperated way.

"I'm sorry, I haven't made mush progress," I confessed. " I didn't think it would be this difficult."

"You've made more progress than us,"said the Floramon brightly, pointing at the single flower that I had managed to get into the ground. It was already wilting, but I had to smile anyway.

"No, I really haven't," I said quietly, staring at the flower. "But thank you for saying it." The Floramon's grin broadened and she nodded.

"I thought you'd like to know, we have a few more guests now, they just dropped in." I smiled in a 'that's nice' kind of way, not entirely sure why the Floramon was telling me this. After a short pause where I was obviously supposed to say something, she continued. "They're humans too, they might know something about your brother." That got my attention. I crouched down, laying the shovel gently onto the ground, trying to buy myself time. There was another pause where I was supposed to say something, then the Floramon started talking again. "Would you like me to send them out?"

"No," I answered, almost too quickly. The Floramon looked taken aback, so I tried to explain myself. "I don't want to bother them." I couldn't tell if it was a lie, but it seemed to satisfy the Floramon.

"Alright," she said warmly. "They'll probably be out later anyway. Should I tell them you're here?"

"If you want," I said, kneeling down again and shoving my hands into the dirt. Since I seemed to be so shovel deficient, I figured it would probably be faster to just use them. The Floramon nodded and headed back to the huts. All of five minuets later, she emerged again, this time accompanied by a tall girl with long blond hair and rich green eyes and a rather bulky boy in a blue and yellow jump suit. I recognized them from before, when I had first arrived in this Digital world, and by the looks on their faces, it was clear that they recognized me. No, not me, my twin.

"Kouji," said the girl uncertainly. The boy just stared at me open mouthed. I blinked, then smiled softly.

"I'm sorry," I said, faking confusion. "You must have mistaken me for some one else. My name is Kimura Kouichi." I pushed myself back to my feet and bowed politely.

"Oh," said the girl, blushing slightly in embarrassment and doing a sort of awkward hybrid between a western curtsy and a bow. Clearly, she hadn't spent too much time in Japan recently. The boy was still looking lost. "I'm sorry. You wouldn't happen to have, like, a brother, or something?"

"Not that I know of," I lied, still smiling. "Why do you ask?"

"I just.. know someone who looks like you." I nodded slowly, blinking at her. "Oh," she gasped after a short silence. "I'm Zoe, by the way. And this is J.P." It didn't seem to have occurred to her to be formal with me.

"It's a pleasure," I said, bowing again and returning to my digging.

"Do you want any help," Zoe asked after another short silence. I wasn't sure why, but the Floramon hadn't say anything yet, and they didn't seem particularly motivated to start now. There was another short silence.

"If you would like." I really didn't know what else to say. Apparently, Zoe didn't mind my curtness. She keeled down next to me and started digging. "The shovel there is fine," I pointed out timidly. "I just seem ti be unable to use it." Zoe had such beautiful hands, it just seemed like such a waste for her to dirty them.

"Oh," she nodded, looking at the shovel. With a determined look on her face and a defiant glint in her eye, she picked up the shovel... and did exactly what I had done. The only difference was that she burst out laughing when she failed to dig a hole. "You and me both," she giggled, staring at the shovel. "But that's no reason to just give up." I stared at her, perplexed. It hadn't occurred to me to keep trying with the shovel.

"Zoe," cried J.P., abandoning his wheelbarrow and running to her side. "You're going to hurt yourself! Let me do that."

"I'm fine, but thank you for the offer." J.P. beamed at the complement, Zoe merely smiled warmly. "It would be really helpful if you could go grab another shovel and help with this digging, or some flowers to plant," she suggested, her grin taking on a ever so slight manipulative twist.

"Flowers? Coming right up!" I smiled slightly, returning to my work. But only for a minute.

"I can't figure out why," said Zoe absently, staring after him. "We've only known each other for maybe two days, but he acts like my happiness is the most important thing to him." When I didn't answer, she just kept talking. "I'm sorry, I guess you have no idea what I'm talking about."

"Not really," I said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, it's not like it's your fault." I gave her a rather false smile and turned back to my digging. "Hey," interrupted Zoe right as I put my hands back in the dirt.

"Hm?" I mumbled, withdrawing my hands again.

"How did you get here? I didn't see you on the Trailmon."

"I came on a strange type of train," I answered. "One of the trains at Shibuya station."

"Oh, that's how we got here. But wouldn't we have seen you at the station?"

"I caught the last one, so you were probably gone by the time I got there."

"Hm." Zoe opened her mouth again, but I cut her off, discretely. Obviously, she felt the need to talk, so I figured I could at least get some information. It sounds like a mean thing to do, but I couldn't help being curious.

"Who else is here," I asked, keeping my eyes on my slowly progressing hole. "Is it just us?"

"Oh, no," exclaimed Zoe brightly."There are three more boys. There's Tommy, he's in about third grade, with a huge orange hat." I nodded, continuing with my digging as I listened. "And there's Takuya, he's a little younger than me, with brown hair, and he's always waring goggles."

"And he's an idiot," chimed in J.P., setting down the flowers next to Zoe.

"Well, I guess that's true, but he's a good idiot. Don't tell him I said it though, he's so immature."

"Is this Kouji here?" I asked, a little bolder than I had intended. But I wanted to know.

"Yes, he is. You'd know him if you saw him, he looks exactly like you only with long hair.'

"He's a jerk," said J.P. bluntly.

"J.P.," chided Zoe, frowning at him. "He is a little antisocial, and rude, and arrogant, but he's not a jerk. I think he means well."

"Maybe, but he was definitely being a jerk when we saw him just now," said J.P. stubbornly.

'He's _here_!' I gasped, jerking sharply away from my hole as a shiver shot down my spine. Zoe and J.P. were staring at me in concern. I ignored them for a second, instead electing to look towards the forest. It was brief, but for a moment, I could almost feel him looking over his shoulder, like he could feel my closeness too. But I knew it was just a delusion, like all those other times when I stalked him. All those other times when I could have sworn he knew I was there, but in the end, he always managed to look the other way. I hated him for those times.

"Are you all right," asked a new voice just to my left. "You are looking a little pale." I started again, this time managing to fall over. There was a short, cream colored Digimon hovering over me with a fin poking out of the top of his head and a strange type of flattened dark beak. Around his waist wore a knitted pink band. There was another standing behind him, like a tall, yellow bunny waring red pants and standing on its hind legs. "Sorry if we startled you," the white one said in a deep, rather hollow voice, the other one nodding stupidly. "I am Bokomon, and this is Neemon." I obviously looked bewildered, because he added "We're Digimon."

"Pleased... to meet you," I managed, pushing myself back into a sitting position. "I just got a little dirt in my hand, it was a little surprising." I was lying through my teeth again, but I seemed to be getting good at it at least.

"What did you do to your self," exclaimed Zoe when I held out my bandaged hand.

"I just fell earlier," I explained, giving them a half truth. "it's nothing to be worried about."

"How are you doing," called one of the Floramon. They were working in small groups all around us, and getting done a lot more than we were.

"We're doing great," called Zoe brightly. "If we keep working this place will look fantastic in no time."

"If the Mushroomon don't wreck it first," muttered another Floramon. She was quickly hushed by the one who had spoken to us earlier.

"Who are they, your neighbors," asked J.P.

"They used to be real fun guys who worked for us. We used to greet the visitors at the station, the Mushroomon's mushroom moose used to be so popular with the tourists, they liked it better than our soup!"

"That's impressive," commented Bokomon, rubbing his stomach.

"But then they changed for the worse," said another Floramon, dropping her head. "They decided that the tourists liked us better and left Breezy Village. Ever since then they've been attacking us and destroying every thin whenever we try and rebuild."

"That's terrible," said Zoe.

"We've tried talking to them, but they won't listen! All the want is to wreck our plants. It's like they've turned evil!"

"That's right!" We all looked up to see who had spoken, but were blinded by a flash of light as something exploded fight in front of us. When the smoke cleared, there were three new Digimon standing before us. "We are the Mushroomon Brothers," they yelled, announcing their presence dramatically. "We thought you understood," said the one in front, apparently their leader, pointing at the Floramon.

"Planting trees and flowers- " added the second.

"Is a big waste of time." finished the third. Then, without warning, they jumped into the air and began throwing small, mushroom shaped pods at the Floramon. "Giggle Grenade!" A fine, yellow mist filled the clearing, and the Floramon began laughing uncontrollably. I couldn't say I fully understood why, but the mist was making my eyes water and my nose itch, causing me to sneeze violently. 

"What's so funny," demanded J.P.

"If you were a Floramon, you'd be laughing too! Our grenades keep them laughing so hard they can't move, much less plant flowers!"

"That's low," muttered Zoe.

"It's over! We've had it with your flower power! And we're gonna totally flatten Breezy Village!"

Frankly they looked like giant purple mushrooms with yellow rings that had sprouted arms and legs. Their eyes were black and beady, their smirks artificial, and the skull and cross-bones on the backs of their hands looked severely out of place, especially considering they were waring pink gloves. How the Floramon could have ever described these brothers as evil was beyond me; personally, I thought the Mushroomon looked rather good-natured, albeit slightly crazed. In a strange, mushroom-like, insane way, they were even strangely cute, as were most of the Digimon I had met so far. Zoe and J.P. were attempting to reason with them… well, Zoe was actually doing all the reasoning, J.P. was trying to help, but only aggravating the situation. I wasn't really paying much attention to what they were saying. Something else had caught my attention, a fine, black mist hovering around the Mushroomon. Frowning, I reached up to brush my bangs from my face, switching hands quickly when I found my bandaged hand hovering before my face. It was still there, swirling about them like a cloak of darkness. Zoe frowned and started towards the brothers.

"Hold it!" she snapped, stopping right in front of them. The Mushroom Brothers looked up at her in a type of malicious confusion.

"You just stand aside, girly," ordered their leader once he found his tongue. Zoe frowned dangerously, pulled her hand back, and slapped him across the face so hard, even I flinched. "What was that for," he demanded, pouting like a toddler.

"You need to learn how to get along!" If the Mushroom Brothers had been stunned before, they were now recovering from injuries sustained when they poked a fork into an outlet. "Just because you feel like you're getting the short end of the stick that doesn't give you the right to just go around destroying things! Try solving things peacefully."

For a moment, it looked like she had gotten through to them, their expressions of absolute shock softened and they blinked in confusion. Then…

"Yeah now listen up," J.P. threw in, no doubt in the hopes that it would impress Zoe and help the situation. "You toadstool heads can't just go barging in here with your purple mushroom caps cause they're just plain ugly! Right?" 

"You insulted them, that's totally wrong."

"Huh? Uh..."

The mist about them flared, darkening, condensing and expanding at the same time, intensifying. Their smirks returned and they fell back into a fighting stance. A Floramon approached me nervously, pulling me over to the huts, looking thoroughly frightened.

The Floramon tugged nervously at my bandages, laying my palm bare and disregarding the ragged wrapping. My hand was covered in dirt, probably from digging with it in place of the shovel, making my rather pale skin look, and this sounds terrible, almost normal. It was also disgusting, the dark past that had been applied earlier had formed little dirt clots all across my palm and my body was still trying to form scabs. I probably should have been more careful with it, but the warm liquid the Floramon had bathed it earlier had numbed it, so there was no pain to impede my 'garden work'. I had even gone so far as to think it might have already been healed and the Floramon were just going to do a final checkup. Using her leaf-like hand, the Floramon brushed the dirt and paste from my skin, occasionally pouring some of that warm liquid from her nose, until I had no doubt that my hand was the cleanest it had ever been. Completely healed actually wasn't too far from the truth; most of the burn had healed up, leaving only a little redness, and there was only one small, shallow cut across my lifeline that was still excreting at all. The Floramon was trying her best to smile brightly at her achievement as she re bandaged my hand, but all she could manage was a grim tension, which was better than her companions, who all looked absolutely horrified.

I glanced back over to see how Zoe was doing with her diplomacy. Judging by the fact that the Mushroomon Brothers were once again throwing their "Giggle Grenades", I assumed that she wasn't doing so well.

"You shouldn't a said that! You're gonna get it! " yelled their leader, clearly very upset by the 'toadstool head' comment. I couldn't say I blamed them, that really had been exactly the wrong thing to say at exactly the wrong time. "Take this!" J.P. Took off away from the Mushroomon, yelling something along the lines of 'Evolve' at his D-Tector, as it was called. The other two Digimon, Bokomon and Neemon, had moved over to our relatively safe position against the huts.

"You know Neemon, I'm not a genius, but I think those Mushroomon Brothers have had their attitudes adjusted for the worse by Cherubimon's evil magic," commented the short one, Bokomon, off handedly. He had a rather intense, analytical look on his face. I stared at him curiously, waiting for him to further explain what he meant, which he clearly had no intention of doing. Luckily, just as I was about to ask, the taller Digimon, Neemon, did it for me.

"Cherubimon? Who is that?" Bokomon stepped on Neemon's fooot and snapped his waist band. I flinched, quite glad that I had not been so bold as to request that particular bit of information, though I had a feeling that my punishment wouldn't have been nearly as severe.

"Fool! How can someone like Cherubimon ever slip your mind? He's the source of all that's evil in the Digital World," criticized Bokomon, folding his short arms disapprovingly, but not looking terribly surprised. The source of all that's evil... I chanced a look back over at the fighting Mushroomon. They didn't look evil to me, perhaps misguided, but not evil. But there was something that was bothering me, the black mist that surrounded them. Was that Cherubimon? I decided to risk testing Bokomon's temper and ask.

"Excuse me," I said gently, catching his attention. He looked over at me sharply and, in spite of myself, I flinched back. Those beady black eyes made me feel unbearably awkward, like he could see right through me and had already decided that I was an idiot.

"Yes, my dear boy, what is it?" Bokomon appeared to be far better natured when he wasn't talking to Neemon, his eyes lost that annoyed look at least, so I decided to just ask him.

"That dark mist," I said. "Surrounding the Mushroomon Brothers, is that Cherubimon?" From the instant the words left my mouth, I knew they were the worst thing I could have said. Neemon asked what I was talking about, but Bokomon was too busy staring at me like I was insane to hit him again.

"Dark mist," he repeated after a moment. "There is no mist. Are you all right?" I didn't have time to answer, J.P. chose that moment to fall. The Mushroomon Brothers began closing on him, the darkness about them rearing up like a viper looking down at its prey. I wanted to yell 'It's there! Can't you see it!', but the words died in my throat. There were eyes in the mist, long, thin, red eyes, watching the scene unfold as a child watches his wind-up toy move from point A to point B. Zoe yelled something, but I couldn't hear; something moved in the tangled roots, but my vision was getting darker, as if the mist was closing in around me too. I couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breath, afraid that if I so much as blinked, those eyes would see me. Vaguely, I was aware of what was going on around me, of the Floramon's words of concern, of Bokomon's excited exclamation, of the bright light that was surrounding Zoe, but it was all far away from me, like an echo of a dream. The mist died ever so slightly, the formless face turning towards me, the eyes locking onto me, sensing me more than seeing me. Time froze. I gasped, falling to my knees as a strange, tingling sensation erupted just behind my eyes as the red ones pored into them, almost smirking as I tried to look away. Then the world went dark. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Ya!, After, what, two months, I'm back in action and, hopefully, good as ever! Seriously, there is nothing like history to kill a creative streak and shut a muse up. No offense to anyone who is passionately in love with history, but even you must admit that there is at best a minimal need for any creative ability. If you are able to be highly creative with your history, that id great for you, but for me, there is nothing like an on slaughter of panicked, "The test is only in five months", history homework to kill the heart. Any way, enough of that, on to chapter eight of Fate (heh, that rhymes!).**

**Disclaimer: All creative reserves recently used up, plus it's eleven at night and I have to get up early tomorrow. Original way of saying 'I own nothing but the general plot line idea' next chapter.**

_The__ world around me was dark, if you could even call it that, a swirl of purple and green and black. There were no walls, no ceiling or floor, nothing but the darkness, expanding and constricting around me, like it was some kind of giant beast breathing. It was cold though, at least, cold enough to numb my hands and feet and chill my blood, sending goosebumps in waves across my skin. I couldn't hear anything above my own breath, feel anything but the cold, or see past the dark. 'Hello,' I called into the oblivion, glancing over my shoulder as though I was expecting someone or something to be waiting there. 'Is someone there?' No response, nothing but that strange, purple green darkness, swirling behind me, waiting for me. Cautiously, almost afraid of what I might find if I dared to look, I held up my frozen hands before my face, inspecting them. The burn was completely gone, leaving not so much as a stray red mark to remind me of its existence. My pale skin was bathed in a strange, pale green half light, more an absence of darkness than anything. It leached all color from my hair, my clothes, my shoes, leaving nothing but green. I swallowed dryly, letting my hands fall back to my sides and hang there limply. Rather unexpectedly, my body spasmed in a strange type of shiver. Goosebumps started on the edges of my shoulder blades, rushing in towards my spine, then up and down it, spreading over my arms to my fingertips, up my neck to whisper across my jaw, down my legs to my already unstable knees. 'Hello,' I tried again, my body swaying as I fought to maintain my balance in this directionless place. The strange shiver came again, as if it were teasing me, testing my patience or courage. My head jerked sharply in a vain attempt to catch... something behind me before it could scuddle away back into hiding. There was only the cold, the bizarre green and purple mass, only the dark. Nothing but the compressing darkness. _

_'Kouichi.' Slowly, I looked forward again, breathing deeply as I did so. I don't know why, or even how, but I already knew what, or perhaps who was a more appropriate term, had called. I turned to him cautiously, fearfully, but at the same time, with a strange knot of what could only be described as a demented form of pleasant anticipation in my stomach. There were those eyes, those red, thin slits, staring at me, laughing at me, calling to me. My heart was racing, my breath caught continuously in my throat, a chilled sweat freezing in on my skin as it swelled to the surface. 'A dark heart.' __Something snapped within me as he said that. I felt angry, jealous, lonely, but I didn't know where any of it was coming from. All I knew was that it hurt, like I was slowly being burned away from the inside out, that I needed to end it, somehow. I gasped as a pressure like giant hands engulfed my body. The darkness tugged at me, pulling me down into itself. At first, the pain intensified, as though something was peeling it apart to observe every aspect, every unknown cause; then it just... faded into cold numbness. I cried out __in surprise and shock__, but deep down__ I knew no one could hear me... no one could save me. And I knew that a part of me didn't even want to be saved._

I shot up, breathing harder than I had in a long time. My body was still covered in sweat, but it was cold, clammy, not the hot saltiness of hard work. My hands were balled into fists, my nails digging into my palms, cutting painfully into my skin, my body shaking. I blinked a few times in an attempt to clear my vision, trying to convince myself that I was out of the darkness, that I was safe. But my skin was still cold, and the silence was still deafening, pressing in all around me. I couldn't see the sun light, couldn't feel its refreshing warmth. And those eye, _his_ eyes, were still there, still watching me. A thin whimper escaped through my teeth and I quickly pressed my face into my hands, trying to block out the vision. They were there too, gazing at me from the mixture of color and pattern behind my eyelids, taunting me, calling me. 'Get out,' I thought feebly, knotting my fingers in my hair. I felt confused, afraid, lost. The eyes seemed to smirk at me, mildly unimpressed but still approving. Then something knew began to bubble up inside of me, something that was becoming all too familiar. Anger. '_**Get Out**_.' I commanded, forcing the eyes from my mind.

Slowly, the silence began to lift, the cold to fade, the light to enter. There was a voice, a sweet, gentile voice, calling me, from somewhere far away. I reached out to that voice, trying to focus on it, to bring my self 'back', but more importantly, to keep _him _ out of my head. Someone was touching me, warm, soft hands pressed lightly onto my shoulders. The voice called again, clearer this time, pulling me back to reality. My fingers released my hair, reluctantly at first, but falling back to my sides quickly enough. I could feel the sun's heat on my side, rather harsh by nature, but welcome none the less. There was some type of thin blanket draped across my legs- no, several small blankets that were clearly never meant to cover up anything as large as a human boy, but were trying valiantly. I was sitting on something flat and hard, probably the table, my feet dangling of the edge. "Kouichi, it's OK now, calm down." Calm down, was I excited about something? Did I look angry? I still couldn't understand what the speaker meant, but it was nice to know what she was saying.

"Is he awake," asked a new voice, this one distinctly male.

"Of course he's awake J.P.," chided the voice from before. "He's sitting up." Well, I should think _that _would be obvious. I coughed slightly, a pathetic attempt at laughter. "Kouichi?" Slowly, my eyes opened again. I had to blink a few times to give myself time to adjust to the new light, but I was satisfied with the brightness. I was back in one of the Floramon's huts, using their table as a makeshift bed. Why I was doing so or how I got there, I really couldn't say for sure, all I knew for certain was that my head was killing me. Zoe was standing next to me, her hands resting securely on my shoulders, her eyes concerned. J.P. was in the door, a glass of water in one hand and a damp towel in the other, staring at me as though my awakening was the strangest thing he had ever seen. Then it dawned on me that maybe it wasn't the awakening that was strange... maybe I had been doing something while I slept. A pale flush crept into my face and I looked away, desperately searching for something to stare at. My eyes settled on my lap. "Are you all right?"

"What happened," I asked, avoiding the question. I may not have had a clue what I was doing on that table, but I knew full well what the note in her voice meant. Not to mention my little dream, vision, what ever those eyes had been.

"Well, we were actually hoping you could tell us," said Zoe gently, smiling at me reassuringly. I looked up at her, confused. "You just, well, passed out in the middle of the battle."

"The last thing I remember is... the Mushroomon. They were attacking the village. Then there was a light and..." I trailed off, letting my hair cover my eyes. I didn't mention the mist, but I could almost feel Bokomon's eyes on me, his face expectant.

"That light was Zoe Spirit Evolving into Kazemon," said J.P., his tone a mixture of excitement and a strange type of pride, with the slightest hint of regret, as he held the glass out to me. It took me a minute to realize the implications of this gesture, but after a minute of J.P. and Zoe both staring at me expectantly, I took the glass and drank from it gratefully, blushing slightly.

"Spirit Evolving, what is that?" I asked, setting the glass down.

"It means that Zoe became the Legendary Warrior of Wind, a Digimon," clarified Bokomon, still staring at me analytically. I avoided his eyes, electing to stare at the glass beside me.

"Someone, the same voice from the cell phone call, told us that we needed to get Spirits to go back home, that's why its so important." I nodded dumbly, mainly because I didn't have a cell phone to be called on and therefore had no idea who they were talking about. So if I wanted to get back to Mom, I'd need one of these 'Spirits' too... fabulous. The information was important whether or not I knew who had sent it or how one went about attaining a 'Spirit', so I didn't inquire further on that subject. We sat for a moment in silence before J.P. decided to continue with the 'while you were passed out on the ground' story.

"Zoe totally kicked the Mushroomon's butts," he gloated, grinning at her. She smiled appreciatively, but didn't seem to agree. "Well, she would have, if they hadn't digivolved."

"Yeah," she said wistfully. "But Kouji beat him, so its all OK."

"What," I squeaked, almost knocking over the glass. I tried to control my expression, not wanting to provoke any doubt in my story by reacting to strongly to the idea that Kouji might have seen me here. In spite of myself, I glanced quickly around the room, half expecting to find him leaning against the door frame, staring at me coldly. Luckily, no one seemed to notice.

"He scanned them with his D-Tector, so they're back to their old selves."

"Is he still here," I inquired anxiously.

"No, he left as soon as the battle was over and the data was restored." Zoe said this like it was common sense and I was just too tired and too relieved to ask what on Earth she meant. He was gone, I was safe. "So what about you?" I blinked up at her, slightly disoriented. "What happened? Do you know why you passed out?"

"Oh, that," I said, glancing over at Bokomon. He was giving me a hard look, clearly hoping I would go into detail about my 'black mist', but not intent on saying anything to the others. "I guess I just overworked myself. It's nothing, really." Zoe didn't look convinced, but J.P. seemed content with my answer.

"Well, we should probably get going. We're supposed to meet Takuya and Tommy," she said after a few minutes, standing up. I shoved the blankets off my legs and joined her, leaning discretely on the table for support. Something seemed to be bugging her as she looked at me, chewing her lip. "Would you like to come," she offered suddenly, grinning at me. I was so stunned by the unexpected invitation, it took me a minute to reply.

"No... thank you. I really mean that, it's just..." I trailed off, looking for words to say 'I have to stalk my brother that I said I didn't have' without sounding creepy. "There's something I have to do," I finished lamely, glancing at her.

"Well, if you change your mind, head for the Forest Terminal, that's where we're going," she said, sounding hopeful. I guess I nodded or did something with my head to indicate that I was planning on meeting them, because she smiled happily and left the hut, J.P. hot on her heels.

"Bokomon, Neemon, you coming," he called back to the Digimon.

"We'll be out in the minute," yelled Bokomon his high, hollow voice before he turned his all-seeing black eyes on me. I flinched and looked away. A tense silence hung between us for a few moments. He continued to stare intently and expectantly at me and I continued to stare intently at the wall in front of me. Neemon continued to look intently lost.

"Is there something I can help you with," I finally asked, still unable to meet his gaze.

"Come now, my boy," said Bokomon. "I was standing right next to you when you passed out and, though I'm no expert, I'm pretty sure that you didn't fall over from exhaustion."

"I was delusional,that's it."

"You and I both know that's not true. Just because no one else could see that mist doesn't mean it wasn't there. Those Digimon were corrupted by Cherubimon's dark magic and, though one would have to be highly sensitive to such darkness, it is possible to see that in the form that you described." I didn't know what to say to this, or even how to respond. Bokomon was staring at me again, as if I was some sort of puzzle he had to solve.

"I don't know what your asking me. What do you want me to say?" That caught him off guard. He blinked uncertainly, frowning at me.

"I suppose I want to know what really happened back there, the real reason you collapsed. I'm not stupid, I know there is more to it than what you're saying. Your eyes turned a strange type of black, a dark color that absorbed light rather than reflecting it, before you fell. They were that same color when you first woke up and you were cold as death. I would know, I helped carry you in during the battle. Besides, it would take someone exceedingly unobservant to think you were actually asleep just now."

"He wasn't sleeping," inquired Neemon innocently. Bokomon snapped his waistband, stepping on his foot.

"Like I said, someone exceedingly unobservant. Even Zoe could tell something was strange, and she has only been in the Digital World for perhaps four days," countered Bokomon.

"Sound's like you know more than I do," I said coolly. Bokomon frowned at me, his face an odd mix between a parent trying to get their child to tell the truth and a toddler who's favorite toy was being held just out of reach. "I'll tell you what I saw, on one condition."

"Yes, go on," said Bokomon eagerly.

"You have to promise not to tell any one about me, don't even mention that I'm here in this Digital World, and don't let my name come up in conversation around Kouji either."

"I thought you didn't know who Kouji was, why do you care if he knows you're here?" Bokomon sounded very perplexed, almost childlike. In that moment, I was tempted just to tell him everything; why I was in the Digital World, how I'd come to be there, my entire life's story, everything. Then I felt something new swell up in my chest, a type of cold strength, like hardened shadows inside of me, giving me the resolve to to what I must. I felt my eyes darken, only by a shade, but enough to be noticeable as I looked at the small Digimon.

"I have my reasons," I whispered curtly.

"I understand," said Bokomon, cautiously. I took a deep breath, looking back at the wall.

"I saw a pair of red eyes in that mist."

"Red eyes?" I nodded,confirming his inquiry.

"But that's not important, not really. What matters is..." I choked on my words as I remembered staring into those eyes and suddenly being caught in their strange, paralyzing glare. How the darkness had engulfed me even before I had passed out, how it had felt to be absorbed by it, if only for a moment, a part of it. How it had summoned up my pain, then soothed it away. I swallowed and tried again. "What matters is, that they saw me. They know where I am now." I felt my legs begin to shake as that realization fully hit me, forcing me into the nearest chair.

"Those eyes, were they Cherubimon's," probed Bokomon, coming over to my side.

"I don't know," I said, closing my eyes. "I don't know anything else, only that they saw me."

"Bokomon, what's taking so long," called J.P., sounding like he was a good couple of meters from the doorway.

"Coming," shouted Bokomon in his general direction.

"You'd better go," I said quietly, glancing at him briefly. He nodded sharply, not moving. "I'll be fine." I faked a small smile.

"Be careful, Kouichi. I don't know what it is you're involved it, and common sense tells me that it would be safer not to know." He turned to leave, Neemon already on his short, stubby tail to ask him to explain what had just happened.

"Wait," I called after him, sitting up strait in my chair since I didn't yet trust myself to stand. He stopped, turning back to face me. "Which way did Kouji go?"

"Last I looked, he was heading for the mountains," he answered, pointing vaguely in their general direction. I nodded my thanks. "Good luck, I hope everything works out for you." And with that, he was gone. I stared after him, contemplating his words. Truthfully, I thought I had known what it was I was getting myself into when I'd followed Kouji here, but after seeing- feeling those eyes, I wasn't so sure. Despite my best attempts, I couldn't see how following my brother could possibly be considered dangerous, yet I was afraid. Afraid of those eyes, of Cherubimon, of what would happen if- what would happen when he found me. I was afraid of the other humans in the Digital World, of having to meet them, talk to them, attempt to justify myself to them, of how they would chastise me if they knew what I was doing. I was afraid that I would never be able to find Kouji now that I had lost his trail, that I'd get lost, that I wouldn't be brave enough to talk to him if I did find him, that it would be the same as in the human world. But looking back, I think that the thing I feared the most, the thing that ate away at my humanity, the thing that caused the intense pain Cherubimon so expertly manipulated, the thing that drove me to his feet, was my fear that Kouji didn't want me at all. I think that deep down, I was afraid that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, whatever I did, he would never see me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Yes, I know, you all hate me with fiery passion and would very much like to hit me right about now, and your wrath is quite warranted. Before you chop off my hands though, I would like to justify myself by informing you all that I did not completely abandon you. In fact, I was writing the most amazing scene between Kouji and Duskmon/Kouichi. One little problem, it's, like, the second or third to last scene in the fiction. Fear not, I will get there as soon as I can, so please don't hate me… too much. I would have gotten this to you sooner, but I was a) working on amazing scene for future chapters that would have evaporated had I not gotten it out, which would have been tragic and b) in Japan for two weeks without a computer (amazing experience, I recommend it to anyone able). Well, all excuses aside, here is the next chapter of Fate, which I think is fairly good, but I'm hardly impartial. Ya!**

**Disclaimer: Somehow, I get the feeling that if I came up with a way to say I don't own Digimon that would, under normal circumstances, be quite humorous, I might get slapped. **

* * *

_It was night, but not like any other I had come to know. Night had form, substance, emotion. It was the sound of tiny feet in the thick grass, the feel of the cold moisture on bare skin, the pull of the wind as it twisted through hair and clothing. The sight of the moon as she graced the sky and the stars as they twirled through the unending cosmos. The fell of the warm arms of black encircling the shivering body, comforting the torn soul, soothing away the pain. A time when the secrets of the day were laid bare, yet when the forming of new secrets whispered across the mind, coming in and out of reality. A time of silence, and a time of song. Night was a time of darkness, but even in its depths, there was always light, the most beautiful form of light. The kind that made pale skin glow moon bright, birthing some kind of angelic being in the place of a mortal, shining in the gloom, illuminating the world, but inflicted no pain. A light that created living shadows and danced with them a haunting ballet to the music of the wind in the trees intertwined with the still silence. Light that caught a breath before the eyes, creating a small, wispy form that soon faded into the dark. Light that aided the darkness as it sharpened the forms of the earth to perfection, lingering only as a brief reminder that this world had once held color... and would do so again when the time came for the night to relinquish its rule to the day. Light that balanced the darkness, yang to the yin, swaying together to create a beautiful harmony, the way they were meant to._

_This night held none of that. In place of the sky, there was only a thick canopy of trees, blocking the moon's gifts. Where there should have been grass and moisture, there was mud and rain. What leaves there were were falling from their dead hosts mournfully, or were beaten down by the unyielding rain. No wind sang with them, nothing disturbed their decent into the black mud. Instead, there was a type of lift, one that slowed the rain and leaves and raised my hair from my scalp, my clothing from my body, as though I was the only thing that still obeyed the rules of gravity. Nothing sang, not even the rain. The silence was defining, suffocating, dark forcing itself upon me like a pillow over my face. There was no light, only the pulsating, purple-green darkness that surrounded me, a gleaming mist. My skin looked paper thin, translucent, sickly, the shadows threw me dirty looks from their stagnant, wrathful poses, clawing at me, tugging me unwillingly into their cold depths. There was no warmth to sooth my icy skin or to comfort my fears. Secrets were held prisoner here, their true forms never to be reviled, their existences closely guarded secrets in themselves. Every form loomed over me, a creature seeking my life, or worse, then it would change into some one I knew. These phantoms never acknowledged me before they turned back into monsters. Here, night would never become day and the smallest candle, the most insignificant beam that tried to change that fate would be swept away, its heart sealed into an chilled lair to wake nevermore. It wouldn't stop, it would continue to grow, to consume anything it could find. Nothing could fight it, nothing could stop it. Eventually, everything had to give into it, lay down and accept the only comfort it could offer. Eventually, I would have to give myself to the numbness. Because that's what I wanted. It was perverse, unnatural, unbalanced, a creature that was never meant to exist in the world. But it was my creature, and through my fear, I couldn't help but find it beautiful. _

_I walked through this forest, rain soaking my hair and cloths, freezing on my skin. Needles bit into my hands and feet, my body tired and weak, my breath uneven. The shadows loomed about me, now calling, now attacking, now my mother, now my grandmother, now reaching for me, now ignoring me. Rain sliced through me and a shadow that became a tree tore at my shirt, nipping at my arm like a starved raven seeking blood. Still I pushed on, driven by some unnamed impulse to continue forward. I was looking for something, someone, and I had found this forest. Or was it the forest that had been searching? Had it found me? In any case, I had to press on, I had to know, I had to find it- to find him. "Kouji," I tried to call, but my voice was dulled in my throat, coming out as if I had shouted from one end of an long tunnel, but but the sound could only be heard from the other. Muted by the darkness, echoing in the rain. The mud pulled at my feet, inviting me to rest with it, to lay down and let myself be pulled into its embrace where I could sleep forever. "Kouji," I called again, my voice even fainter than before. "Kouji," I whispered, stopping. _

_The shadows called back to me, 'Kouji, Kouji, Kouji, Kouji.' My head began to throb as his name bombarded me from every side, taunting whispers. I pulled back, trying to escape the voices, but the followed me, growing, changing. 'Kouji and his dog. Kouji and his house. Kouji and his father. Kouji and his mother. Kouji and his classes. Kouji and his music. Kouji and his happy life.' Images accompanied the words like furious serpents, diving into my thoughts, tearing at them viciously, demanding priority. I gasped, grabbing my head as it began to split at the seams. _

_"Stop it!" My voice was again muted, overwhelmed by the shadows. _

_'Where were you? Where was Kouichi? What does Kouichi get? Does he know? Does he care?' _

_"Leave me alone," I screamed, falling to my knees. My body made a splashing sound as it hit the mud, then began to slurp as it sank. _

_'Leave me alone!' They were mocking me, pointing and laughing as I suffered in the dark. 'Stop it! Leave me alone! Alone, alone, alone, Kouji, me, alone. Does he know? Does he know? Does he care? Alone!' _

_Something reached out and grabbed me, a tendril of darkness coiling around my wrist, pulling me into itself. I yelped, yanking my arm away and pushing myself up again. The shadows were closing in around me, trying to from some kind of cocoon, trying to absorb me. I began to run, my frozen muscles protesting painfully, my numb feet causing me to stumble. I had to get away, I had to find Kouji._

_'Away, away, run fast, run fast, Kouji, run fast. Alone, alone, alone. Go find Kouji, run fast. Does he know? Does he care?' The darkness was following me, reaching out at my wrists and ankles. One caught me by the neck, choking me as I fell. I hit the ground hard, the impact sending little colored orbs across my vision. Tendrils latched onto my arms, trying to hold me in place. Disoriented, I clawed at them, ripping the one from my throat and continuing to run._

_"What do you want," I yelled, not looking beck. _

_'Want? Want? Want? You want, Kouji. Run, run fast. Find. Want. Kouji. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Alone. You want, alone. You are alone. Does he know? Does he care? Kouichi, come back, come to us. Want, you want. You. Want. You. Does he know? Does he care? Kouji.' My breath came in ragged gasps, my body beginning to give up on me. Pain exploded in my head again, forcing me to pause. The shadows took the opening, launching themselves at me, wrapping around my ankles and wrists, holding me in place. I strained against them vainly, trying to fight the dark, but they held fast, laughing at me. More came, pinning my arms to my sides as they twisted about my torso, trapping my hands behind my back. They wrapped lazily about my knees an neck, moving about me like living serpents, cold as death, burning into my skin. I shrieked, my balance wavering. Quickly, the constricted, holding me in place despite the fact that every muscle in my body had ceased to function. 'Watch, listen, Kouji and his happy life.' The voice that had started off as something similar to the high pitched whispers of a chorus of children was beginning to morph as the shadows began to solidify before me. I looked away, squeezing my eyes shut, but the darkness wouldn't have that. _

_Something seized the sides of my head, something that felt like a pair of cold hands. Their palms covered my ears, their fingers pressed against my face. 'Watch. Listen. Kouichi. See, your life,' commanded a dark voice that seemed to come from the hands, one that sounded deep and forbidding and unnatural, one that couldn't be ignored. I could feel his words bending my will, manipulating my thoughts. My eyes shot open, unnaturally wide as the hands jerked my head sharply, forcing me to look forward. I felt like a puppet, a weak puppet trying to fight his master, pathetic. Before me, the darkness had condensed into a human form, a faceless manikin ready to serve its purpose. Slowly, it began to contort and thrash, growing details as it did so, until the creature that stood before me was... was my grandmother. _

_"What is this," I choked, surprised. I tried to look away again, but the hands held me still, forcing me to meet her empty gaze. That couldn't be! Grandma was dead, I'd watched her die, I'd held her hand as her last breath left her, my brother's name her on her lips. She couldn't be here, it was impossible, not as she looked, whole and healthy and alive. Her face spoke of compassion, her hands reached towards me kindly. "Grandma! Help me," I pleaded, struggling to get to her. But she frowned at me when I spoke, her hands dropping as she turned away from me. "Grandma, no!" _

_'Watch her, watch her leave, as they all did. Watch her turn her back on you. Watch her abandon you,' sang the shadows, swooping about her form like phantom ravens. 'Kouichi, you have to know,' her voice mumbled through the dark. 'Kouichi, you have a brother. You must find Kouji.' I tried to pull away from the memory, but there was nowhere left to go. 'Hear her, hear her leave you with the truth. Hear her send you to find what you can never have. Did she know it would be torture? Did she care if you were hurt in the process? Hear her clear her own conscience at your expense. Hear her send you to us!' I bit my lip,trying my best not to listen, but the words seemed to flow trough the hands right into my mind, probably directed by the master. _

_"Grandma," I cried, begging her to deny these accusations, to tell me they were wrong. _

_'Did she care?' She barely glanced over her shoulder before she replied in her own voice. 'No' _

_The puppet began to contort again, its shape lengthening and fattening. Hair shortened and darkened, wrinkles lifted and glasses pulled themselves from the face. It seemed to take forever, but within a matter of moments he was standing before me. The man I had dreamed about, the man I had followed sometimes, the one I had wanted all my life but could never have. That man, my father, the one who had refused to so much as glance at the shadows where I hid, had his back to me even now. I'd never spoken to him, never looked him in the face, but I knew it was him. "Dad," I called, not even bothering to try and reach him this time. He didn't even acknowledge my voice._

_'See your father,' cried the shadows gleefully. 'See him ignore you. See him look the other way. See him pretend you don't exist. Does he know?Does he care? Hear his silence, his rejection. Hear him tell you you were never good enough. Hear him tell you Kouji's better. Watch him walk away!' _

_"Dad, please!" _

_'Does he know? Does he know? Does he know? Does he know? Does he know?' _

_"Stop it! Just stop!" _

_'Does he care? Does he care? Does he care? Does he care? Does he care? Does he care? Does he care? Does he care? Does he care you're suffering? Does he care about the suffering of your mother?' He didn't turn, didn't look, didn't see me. 'No,' was all he said. Then the puppet began to shift again._

_"Stop this, please, stop this," I begged the darkness, my eyes falling closed again and my head tilting downward. The tendril of darkness about my neck coiled itself about me one more time, its tip caressing my jaw line. "Why are you doing this to me?" _

_'Kouichi. Watch. Listen.' commanded the deep voice again, jerking my head back up. Lazily, my eyes opened again, only to be met by an identical pair. Kouji was in front of me, glaring at me distastefully with our mother's eyes, his body ridged, his arms folded. He looked angry, annoyed at being summoned to this place, frustrated by my presence, by my mere existence. _

_"Kouji," I breathed. He just stared at me, his eyes burning, his body luminous. "Kouji, you're here." I couldn't think of anything else to say, even though there were so many things I had always wanted to tell him, to ask him. He frowned at me, staring at me like I was some kind of slow cow crossing the road in front of his car. _

_'Who are you,' he asked, his voice ruff and sharp. For once, the shadows didn't call, everything stayed silent. The dark chords released me, slowly retreating away from my body. The hands dropped me abruptly, causing me to stumble. Kouji didn't react, didn't try to catch me or help me. He just kept staring._

_"I... I'm," I stuttered, righting myself on my own two feet and rubbing my wrists where the darkness had bitten into them. _

_'I don't know you,' he stated bluntly, his eyes criticizing. _

_"I know you don't know me," I said, begging him to understand, to stop looking at me like he hated me. "I know it sounds a little strange, but... I know you." _

_'Why are you here?'_

_"I... I wanted..." I was struggling, paralyzed under that gaze. He was so bright, shining, glowing in the dark like a miniature sun, warm, vibrant, life. "I wanted to meet you, I wanted-" He cut me off sharply. _

_'I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I've never seen you and I never will. It's useless to keep trying.' Kouji turned his back on me, just like they all had, just like they all would, and began to walk away. _

_"Wait," I yelled. "Wait, Kouji, I-"_

_'I don't care. Not about you, not about your mother, not about your life or anything that's happened to you. It has nothing to do with me. Just disappear for all I care.' I reached out to him, silently pleading with him not to leave me, not here, not alone. And he vanished, just like they all had, taking his light, his warmth, his comfort with him. _

_I couldn't help it, couldn't stop it. Tears began to well up in my eyes, cold, bitter tears that quickly began to spill down my face, dripping off my chin. I fell to my knees, my body loosing any drive to continue moving and my mind loosing any desire to force it. "You just... left me." My breath rattled in my throat, my hands finding the ground before me so my fingers could dig into the mud. The rain pounded soundlessly on my back. "You all just left me... Why? Am I so small, so insignificant? Do I really not matter to you at all? Why won't you just pay attention to me!" I screamed into the darkness, daring them to answer, to show themselves again. There was only silence, taunting me, reminding me that I was, indeed, all alone in this dark place. The tears continued to fall, blurring my vision. My body was trembling, the cold bighting into my skin with a thousand razor sharp teeth, tearing at me. The rain felt like blood, flowing thickly from my back, but I didn't care. "It's useless," I muttered. "It's all useless. I'm nothing to them."_

_'You're right,' answered a voice- no, not a voice, __the__ voice. The one that had commanded me so easily, the owner of the hands that had jerked me about like some kind of doll, like I was a kitten and he a child intent on drowning me in a tin of milk. The voice of my master. I stiffened, flinching away from it, wishing I could do as Kouji had suggested and disappear. A chuckle came from the dark mist about me as it compressed. 'No, you must not disappear,' the voice called, answering my thoughts. My eyes widened, an intense, glowing crimson gaze meeting my timid blue, malevolent, ambitious, seductive. 'You may mean nothing to them, but you are something. A dark heart.' The hands had returned, this time lingering in front of me. They were a black purple, wide and harsh, palms never narrowing into wrists, fingers sharpening into lethal, delicate claws. 'Weighted by the pain of loneliness, ignited by the rage of betrayal. Yes, you are quite a large something, an unexpected, large something. You will serve me well.'_

_"No," I protested meekly, eying the contorted fingers as they reached for my neck. I was helpless to resist, only managing a whimper as they raked softly across the sensitive flesh, sending goose bumps across my arms and down my spine. "You're wrong, I'm not-"_

_'Alone? Angry? Darkness? What is it that you're denying? You are as I say, as you have been since your arrival. Your pain has not lessened, it has intensified.'_

_"No, no I- I'm getting better. Every day I get closer to him, closer to talking to him. I will succeed, I'm not giving up! And when I do, when I meet him, it __will__ go away, we'll be a family again and-" I was babbling, spurting out words that I wasn't even capable of believing, trying desperately to find some sort of hope in that bleak, blunt gaze. He cut me off, a wide mouth like the eyes splitting in laughter before me, cold, rich, numbing laughter. It rang within me, shattering any barriers I might have erected against his prescience. A tingling like a light caress began within my skull, the pain being numbed away as he probed, poking and prodding wherever he pleased. Any resistance was smothered before it kindled and I found myself leaning into his power, enjoying his control. Not to think, not to feel... it was blissful. In that moment, I would have done anything he wished, anything, to keep him within me; I would have given myself to him right then and there, no questions, no regrets, but he pulled away, relishing my sharp cry as he allowed my emotions to hit me again, pulling me beneath their surface, drowning me. Vaguely, I was aware of one of those sharp fingers beneath my chin, pulling me up on my knees and holding me there. The other grasped my burned hand, examining the red mark the Floramon's healing had left to finish itself. _

_'Kouichi,' he cooed my name causing me to flinch away as best I could. 'Son of Darkness, you haven't even begun to heal.' With that, he tugged his claw swiftly across my skin, leaving a thick line of burning crimson in his wake. I screamed, thrashing, his icy laughter reverberating deep within my chest and above him, a new object glowing, summoning. _

* * *

I shot up with a stifled yell, banging my head against the makeshift ceiling of my chosen quarters. Considering this was rough, yellow sandstone, it was rather painful; however, it served its purpose, bringing me into a slightly more logical state of mind, if that makes any sense. It was a nightmare, nothing more, it hadn't been real. I reached up to brush the hair from my face nervously, biting my tongue when I found it damp. My entire body was slick with sweat, my clothing sticking to me, as if I had just been out in a rain storm without an umbrella. And it itched. The idea that any creature, let alone me, could sweat this much was some what perplexing, but there was no other explanation. I was in a canyon, a windy, dry canyon with no water in sight and not a cloud since yesterday. It couldn't have been rain, so it had to have been sweat, a ridiculous amount of sweat. Yeah. But if that was true, then why was my breath still coming in short, frightened gasps despite my best attempts to slow it? Why was my body shaking uncontrollably, goose bumps crawling across my clammy skin like insects? I bit my lip hard, trying to bring myself back to reality. That was a dream, it was impossible. I was sweating, that was all.

Satisfied by my reasoning, I began to extract myself from my little niche in the rock as carefully as my trembling body would allow. After I'd left Breezy Village, a feat in itself considering the Floramon's resistance to letting me go before they were completely and utterly assured of my physical and mental health, I'd headed towards the mountains in the direction Bokomon had pointed me, intent on continuing my quest to talk to my brother. That's not quite how things turned out. You see, I'm one of _those_ people, you know, the ones who are almost perpetually lost. It's not that I'm incapable of getting from one place to another; on the contrary, I can be very efficient when it comes to getting around my neighborhood. It's just that, unless I have the way memorized, am given a completely idiot proof map, or have someone to guide me, I tend to wonder all over the place. However, I somehow always end up where I want to be, oddly enough, even if that somewhere isn't the same place I set out to find. Say the local store is out of cabbage and I need some, I can start out heading to this cabbage-less store without realizing it, but end up halfway across town at some place that happens to be having a cabbage sale. My own special super power; I'm always the first one out of those walk through mazes. Well, some how I managed not to head straight for the giant, 'you-can't-miss-them' mounds of rock and had ended up on the edge of this canyon. After almost falling to my death... again... several times, I decided in my genius, sleep-deprived state that it would be a good idea to climb down and cross at the base. I don't know what possessed me to do so, it was an incredibly reckless and stupid idea. None the less, I found a small, cave-like hole in the side and, assuming it was perfectly stable, crawled in, pulled of my vest to substitute it for a pillow, and passed out. Ingenious.

I grabbed my clothing and finished pulling myself out, standing on the ledge just outside of the cave, wobbling. The sunlight hit me like a brick wall and I hissed, stumbling back and grabbing at the rock for support. I'd forgotten just how painfully bright it was. Slowly, I tried to open both eyes, but I quickly shut them again, flinching away from the light. It burnt like nothing I had ever felt before, a feeling I was going to need to get used to. I tried again, this time only cracking my left eye, using my right arm and vest as a type of shield to prevent my little eye from receiving the full blow. The world was orange rock and sky tinted blue-green as far as I could tell, a desolate place that, if given any choice, I would have avoided fervently. Unfortunately, I didn't get a choice, I was there and there was no turning back until I decided if Kouji was here or not. I dropped my arm, blinking rapidly as if that would help. Can't say it actually did, but it made me feel better. A strong wind blew from further along in the canyon, forcing my eye closed again and threatening my already pathetic balance. Voices began to drift up to me, six distinctly different voices. Four of them I knew, the other two were foreign, odd, and male. For the first time it occurred to me that I might not have been alone in the canyon, that these people might have been watching while I thrashed and sweated in the arms of my dream. What if they'd heard me cry out or worse... what if I had spoken in my sleep! A blush crept into my face and I decided it would be in the favor of all involved parties if I just climbed back up the wall and avoided any form of contact whatsoever. I took one step, tripped, and fell of the edge.

I didn't have time to yell, time to think or analyze or comprehend. My eyes shot open, pupils contracting into pinpricks as I sucked in air to scream. And then- "Welcome to Wind Factory Incorper-" Wham! I landed on two small, squishy forms, knocking the wind out of myself and effectively flattening the creatures. Gasping, I rolled off them onto my hands and knees, a deafening crack echoing from beneath me.

"Ah! Was that a massage? I didn't even have to pay for it," the source of the crack called from somewhere to my left.

"Just so you know," came another high voice, this one hollow and annoyed. "If I thought I was in any shape to do it, I would be snapping your waistband you idiot!"

"You didn't enjoy the massage?"

"I think it threw out his back," one of the new voices exclaimed, gruff but some how still not quite matured. It had a bit of an impulsive, fiery ring to it that made me feel comfortable and exceedingly uneasy at the same time. I felt like I'd heard it somewhere before, but I couldn't be sure. My head was beginning to throb, blocking out most of my cohesive thoughts.

"Um, guys, who's that?" This other voice was high and slightly nasally, a little whiny but good intentioned. I couldn't have believed it belonged to anyone above their fourth or fifth year at the absolute oldest. My stomach tightened.

"Hey Zoe, isn't that the guy from Breezy Village?" J.P., I knew that one.

"Oh my, Kouichi!"

"Zoe-san," I choked, unable to look at her. The fall hadn't been as bad as it could have, but I still couldn't breath. And I still felt like I was going to toss the breakfast I hadn't eaten.

"Are you all right?" She was kneeling next to me, discreetly nudging the Digimon out of the way so she could examine me properly.

"I- I think so," I panted, closing my eyes and trying to take deep breaths. Just so you know, this was one of the more humiliating moments of my life, which didn't help things in the slightest.

"You're bleeding," she said softly. Slowly, I looked down, almost afraid of what I'd find. My hand, the same one the Floramon had healed, was planted in the dust, a thin, crimson stream running from my palm solemnly. _Vaguely, I was aware of one of those sharp fingers beneath my chin, pulling me up on my knees and holding me there. The other grasped my burned hand, examining the red mark the Floramon's healing had left to finish itself. 'Kouichi,' he cooed my name causing me to flinch away as best I could. 'Son of Darkness, you haven't even begun to heal.' With that, he tugged his claw swiftly across my skin, leaving a thick line of burning crimson in his wake. _I stopped breathing.

"Ew, that's gross," exclaimed the young voice. Zoe seized my hand, giving me the option to either fall on my face or kneel next to her as my weight began to fall unsupported, pulled out her handkerchief and began to clean the wound as best she could.

"Tommy," she chided, throwing him and J.P., who looked like he needed medical care more than I did, a sharp look.

"Thank you, Zoe-san," I said quietly, staring at her work. It was quick and precise, efficient, yet gentile. It was all I could do, just sit and stare, useless. The darkness from my dream began to flood back, chilling my skin once more.

"You're welcome. You probably just cut yourself on the rock when you fell." She knotted the handkerchief about my palm and released me, smiling reassuringly. I barely saw her, my body had begun to shake and it was taking all the self control I had not to let anyone see. "By the way, Zoe's fine, I've never been one for formalities." I let my eyelids drop, my breath catching in my throat. No, not again, not now! The darkness swirled just behind my eyes, the whispers taunting echoes in my mind. That hadn't been anything more than a dream, it couldn't have been. But if that was so, then why was I so frightened. I could explain away the rain and the chill, but this? Blood didn't lie, so how could I deny it? "Are you all right, you look a little pale."

"Yes, I'm fine," I said, glancing up at the rock face I had fallen from. There was blood smeared on the stone, my blood, but was there more in the cave? Had the flow started while I still slumbered, just as I had awakened?

"He's probably just a little shook up is all," the older male voice called confidently. "That was quite a drop."

"Yeah, _you_ probably would have screamed like a little girl."

"Shut up J.P.!"

"I'm just agreeing with you, jeez! That, plus it's the same hand as before, remember Zoe? That would be enough too weird me out." Was that all? Was I just 'weirded out'? It was the same hand, just as the puppet master had intended, but could dreams really hurt you like that? No, that wasn't possible, not even here. I had cut myself on the rocks as I fell, just as Zoe had said, and I was merely 'weirded out', as J.P. had suggested. Not entirely certain but calmed none the less, I stood up, ready to face my audience. They didn't look judgmental, just concerned and understandably shocked. J.P. was avoiding my blood stained hand rather obviously, concentrating very hard on my right shoulder. The younger boy, the one Zoe had called Tommy, was staring at me wide eyed, looking rather ridiculous with his giant orange hat perched on his head, slightly askew, probably from jumping when I landed or something similar. The older boy looked like he was experiencing the after shock of having the life scared out of him and was trying to cover it up and still look perfectly at ease. I recognized him now, the other boy, Takuya, from before. I opened my mouth to thank him for saving Kouji, like I had promised myself while I observed the scene from my precarious position on the pole, but, realizing all the explaining that would need to accompany the gratitude, closed it again and turned to the Digimon. Bokomon was giving me a hard, calculating look, his black eyes seeing more than I was comfortable showing. To anyone else, it would seem that he was angry with me for landing on him, but I knew better. He was trying to gage my... deterioration, how much further I had progressed since we last met. He was dying to talk to me, that much was obvious. Neemon just looked clueless, cute and enduring, but still clueless.

The silence was awkward to say the least. Tommy tugged on Takuya's shirt, whispering something in his ear. I didn't need to hear to know what the question was, didn't need to see Takuya's eyes as he straightened. "Hey," he said casually, clearly not finding his question a big deal. "You wouldn't happen to be related to a Minamoto Kouji, would you?" I blinked, composed my features into a mask of confused amusement and shook my head slightly.

"Minamoto-san," I asked calmly, meeting Takuya's rich brown gaze with one that was so obviously Kouji's it was laughable, even as I denied any knowledge of the boy. "I've heard of him, J.P.-san and Zoe-san, Zoe, asked the same thing when we met in Breezy Village. But no, we are not related. I am an only child and haven't so much as met this Kouji. Though I do know one from my calligraphy class, if that helps."

"Oh, that's odd," sighed Takuya, a defeated expression twisting his face for reasons I didn't understand. "I could have sworn you looked just like him." As though my denial changed the fact that we were identical. I looked away, flushing. It was getting easier to lie. Another silence ensued, one where I could feel everyone begin to fidget and sense Bokomon and Zoe's eyes on me, prying, searching for answerers to questions I wouldn't let them ask.

'I'm fine,' I tried to broadcast, attempting to relieve their worries. It didn't work, but then again, I wasn't really expecting it to. And the silence dragged out. A blush began to rise in my cheeks, pushing my eyes to the dusty, blood stained ground at my feet. I could feel the shadows beginning to tug at me invitingly, pulling me towards something just behind me, something big and full of dark, corrupted energy like I had seen within the Mushroomon Brothers. A cold hand grasped my stomach, red eyes burning in the back of my mind, fingers running down my spine. I shivered, beginning to turn involuntarily to face the giant, factory like building behind me. It resonated with the dark mist from the Mushroomon, from my dream, calling to me, pulling me to it like a moth to the light. Except I was far more dangerous than a moth, and it was certainly no light seeking my life. It wanted something else from me, something larger, something more important. _Kouichi, come back, come to us. Want. You. _My eyes widened, the pain from my dream erupting in my head. It was all I could do not to grab it and fallto my knees.

"Wind Factory Incorporated," said Bokomon importantly. J.P. and Takuya's stomachs chose that moment to rumble loudly, shattering the tension within the group; though I still remained frozen, vulnerable.

"I'll bet they have something to eat," muttered Takuya, starting towards the Factory.

"Hey, while you're in there, could you get me something to go, extra everything?" J.P. sounded uneasy, as if he too could sense the evil within the walls. But, while it called to me, pulling me to it, it repelled him, just like it would repel any creature that truly valued their life and was very aware of that fact. J.P. was a lot smarter than anyone gave him credit for. I wanted to throw him a look, something to reassure him that his fears were very well justified, but I was still frozen, my strings taught. I could no more move than speak or run. Maybe, if we were lucky, we could avoid going into the Factory at all.

"What do I look like, the Pizzamon? It's every tummy for himself! Let's go!" Boom, there went my plan. "Last one in is a rotten egg!" And off they went like some kind of deranged stampede, straight into the arms of danger. My inner self had his shoulders slumped in disbelief.

"Hey," Zoe asked softly. It took all I had to look at her out of the corner of my eye. "Are you coming? We're getting left behind."

"You don't have to wait for me," I said calmly, my voice betraying none of my unease or desire to warn her. She had been nothing but kind to me, I wished her no harm.

"I know, but you just seem so… so lonely." Her words made me flinch. She didn't notice. "And it wouldn't be polite to just leave you." I felt the darkness surge inside of me, slamming against my resistance one final time, shattering it. I turned fluidly, smiling at her, my eyes dark and dull, absorbent instead of reflective.

"Yes," I agreed coldly. "That would be quite rude." Her expression changed, her smile faltering, the slightest traces of fear flickering in her eyes like a leaf in the breeze. Good, she should fear me. "Shall we go then," I inquired formally, gesturing smoothly to the group at the gate and bowing ever so slightly to indicate she should go first. "It would also be rude to keep them waiting; especially since it seems they are in need of your silver tongue right now." Zoe looked at me quizzically and then at the small, worm like Digimon berating the group, than back to me before she started out to join her friends, her back tense. I smiled coolly, following a little too closely for her comfort. Perhaps this wasn't where I had intended to go, but it was exactly where I wanted to be. The darkness had called, I had answered and within it I would find solace. It could not be complete, not here, not like it had been in my dream, but at least the numbness this place provided would keep the pain at bay. At least, as long as I was here, I would serve as a beacon, this darkness merging with my own to summon the master from my dreams, the one who could extract my pain in its entirety, the one who had corrupted this world to begin with. And when he came, I would do as he asked, be who he wanted, in exchange for eternal numbness. The memory of the bliss I had experienced while he probed my mind burned brightly within me, but it brought something with it. The forest, the fear, the phantoms. My resolve flickered and my vision darkened, my stomach churning uncomfortably. I began to sway where I stood, reaching up with one hand to grasp my aching head. What was I doing? What was I thinking? Call _him_? Here? To me? Sweat began to dampen my back again, thankfully not staining my clothes. I tried to breathe slowly, only hearing the conversations around me from a distance.

"We're just here for a tour. That is all right, isn't it?"

"Let's make our first stop the exit."

"A tour? Well, why didn't you just say so! Come on in!"

"Yeah! Food!"

"Do you really think they'll have food Takuya?"

"Sure they will! They've gotta eat, don't they?"

"I still think this is a bad idea."

"Kouichi?" My eyes shot open and, finding Zoe right in my face, I jerked back, dropping my hand. "Are you sure you're all right? You still look a bit pale. "

'No, I'm not alright! I've never been so far from alright.' I wanted to cry out to her, but something stopped me.

"It's nothing," I insisted, realizing I still held my vest and pulling it on rapidly. "I'm just a bit dizzy, must have hit my head when I fell."

'Help me! Tell me what I'm doing, what this is.'

"Do you want me to take a look?"

"No."

'We shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be near me. Get away, get away from this place! Go home where you'll be safe.' The more I pushed, the more I tried to fight this thing inside of me, the more it felt like I was hammering a pike into the back of my skull. Why I was seeking out the obvious danger, I didn't know. Why I was fighting these urges to go, I couldn't understand. I looked at her, my eyes somewhere between black and normal and she held my gaze, questioning, strong. But I… I was Darkness, I could smother that strength if I so desired.

"I'm fine, really. " She didn't believe me, but she yielded, breaking eye contact. "We should keep going. There are interesting things about to take place here, I want to see what they are." She blinked, not looking at me, which was probably wise. My gaze was tainted by the darkness of this place, I didn't know what it was like or what it could do, but if the darkness from my dream, the shadowy tendrils and taunting, manipulative whispers, were any indication, it was something more than human.

"All right then," was all she said before she crossed the barrier to join the group. I took a deep breath, staring into the dark-infested halls reaching back to them as they called to me and slapping their invitations away. I didn't know how or why it happened, but somehow I was caught up in something, something much large than my struggle with Kouji or my mother's struggle with the bills and our life. Something that both enthralled me and terrified me, called and revolted me. Something that, for some odd, twisted reason that I never wanted to comprehend had centered itself about me and wanted me, needed me, commanded me to accept it, acknowledge it, and join with it. The forest flashed across my vision, fear knotting in my stomach, the Factory pulling at my mind. What was going on? I sighed in defeat, stepping over the threshold. Whatever it was or wanted, I had started out on this journey when I had gotten into that elevator, if not before that, and I had little choice but to keep moving down this path. Perhaps there would be turns and choices ahead, something to get me out of this mess, but until then… Bokomon was staring at me intently, curious and cautious, but also concerned. I ignored him, moving forward calmly, my expression a mixture of excitement and fear, my eyes blank and dark. It was time to see what fate had in store for me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Hey you! Ya! Happy New Chapter! Hopefully not awful, I tried to make up for my lateness in mass of words and stuff happening. I think you'll find this new stuff rather interesting... either that or I'll have to start locking my doors at night. And guess what! It's been beta read! Please give a standing ovation to one of the nicest people on the cite, ****Jocelyn Torrent, who read this entire thing even though she doesn't watch this show! Ya, happiness! There was probably more, like excuses, of which I have many very interesting and amusing ones (if you wish to hear them, just ask and I'd be more than happy to let off. It's rather therapeutic and I'd recommend everyone try it once in a while), but it's 6:01 and I've got sectionals this morning. C-Ya!**

**Disclaimer: Still just a poor, broke, brilliant writer who does not own Digimon, but what if I bought some stock...**

The factory tour was... dull. There just weren't many other ways to describe it. I was never one for tours to begin with, well, at least not the type where you were required to be herded from one place to another by an over or under enthusiastic tour guide who spent too much time on some things and not enough on others. Honestly, I've always preferred self-guided tours. It's not that I don't find the exhibits interesting or worth my time, on the contrary, historical and cultural sites have always been fascinating for me, but I've always needed to find my own significance for them, if that makes any sense at all. For example, my mother took me to the Shibuya Satiation a few years ago to show me how to navigate the public transportation system in case I ever needed to find my way around. I've since come to realize that this was as much for her benefit as mine; she can't do all the shopping herself and Shibuya is a pretty major station, one that would, consequently, become a rather important location for me. Anyway, while we were leisurely making our way to the station entrance, a large bronze statue caught my eye and my mother stopped to tell me the story of Hachikō. He was little more than an Akita dog... a dog who waited for his owner every day at the Shibuya Station and continued to do so for ten years after his his owner sopped coming home. But the thing about the statue that truly entranced me wasn't the remarkable story. In truth, I never really needed to hear it. There was just something about the spot, a warmth that tingled in my palms and stomach, that made me feel like the dog was still there. It was almost as though he'd left some kind of imprint in the earth, like his loyalty and affection had been burnt into the spot, his eternal patience, his sadness at the continued absence of his owner. It made me want to cry; my mom had to practically drag me from the spot after twenty minutes. That's what a tour should be about, seeing everything, but getting to spend time with the things that really touch you.

Anyway, this wasn't that type of tour; not that there were any particularly entrancing places to begin with per say. The worm like Digimon, Minomon, had all but tied strings around us and pulled us from one window to another to observe the all too fascinating stages of grey fan construction. The floor was a soft, slick, shiny teal material that I couldn't identify, the ceiling dark blue and industrial. The walls were glass windows designed so that we could look in and watch the work without disturbing the workers. These were just small, machine type Digimon with square heads and bodies that looked rathe plug-like and well suited to the conveyor belt work they were doing. It was insanely bright, creating a rather creepy effect, as though things were a little too clean. Over all, the place just seemed... off, and the lectures on every mundane step and tool and product were tedious, to be blunt. Frankly, under normal circumstances I would have been politely board out of my mind, but the darkness of the building kept me quite attentive. It seeped from the walls and ceiling, enticing, smirking, as if it were taunting me, daring me to put my finger on just what was so wrong about this place. I listened to the Minomon with the hope that they would let something slip about what was actually going on, mention something beyond the commercial claims of complete satisfaction. I was rather disappointed, they didn't even mention why the factory needed such tight security.

"Bokomon-san," I whispered as we stopped at yet another window, leaning down to speak directly in his ear. He jumped, clearly thinking that I was still several paces back in the position I had maintained since the beginning of the tour, turning sharply.

"My dear boy," he said softly, matching my tone. "If you feel the need to be so formal, then I won't stop you, but you are one of only six humans in this world, so I hardly think it is necessary."

"Thank you?" I looked at him quizzically, not entirely sure what he was implying or giving me permission to do; however, it was evident from the tone of his voice that he expected gratitude, so I humored him. We stood there for an awkward moment while the Minomon talked and the others oohed and aahed to get on his good side.

"Is there something you wanted," Bokomon finally asked, keeping his voice low.

"Yes, I'm sorry." I flushed, refusing to make eye contact. The darkness inside of me seemed pleased by my continued presence within the factory and was content to smirk at me from the back of my mind for the time being, but every time Bokomon so much as glanced at me it flared to life again, as if daring him to try something to stop it. "I was wondering if you could tell me something about those Digimon."

"Weren't you listening earlier?" I flushed deeper. He sighed. "The workers are machine type Digimon called Kokuwamon. They're rookie level Digimon with the attack of Power Surge. The guards are Goblimon, rookie ogre type Digimon who love to be bad. Their special attack is called Goblin Strike."

"Why do you think they need guards here?"

"Well, to protect the workers, obviously." Bokomon was staring at me now, bemused by my inquiry. The darkness within me surged, wanting nothing more than to reveil itself to the little Digimon. I almost gagged.

"Maybe," was all I could manage as I stared at one of the Goblimon. It looked like a green goblin with a deer skin tunic and wooden club. Its orange hair stood up in a mohawk, its tusks pertruding from its rather brutish and unintelligent mouth. Its eyes gleamed maliciously, darkness surrounding it in a fine mist, though it didn't look corrupted by it. It was more like the darkness was egging it on or something.

My gaze moved to the Kokuwamon absently, taking in their comparative purity. Darkness didn't surround them, but something was emanating from their mechanical bodies. I couldn't really see it, but the longer I looked, the more I _sensed _it. It was like... like the scent of sakura blossoms on the wind, the taste of honey in green tea, the burn of hot bath water as it relaxed away the tension of the day, the promise of rare and tasty treats, the soothing numbness of a painkiller. It felt nice. I felt myself lean towards the glass, a feeling akin to hunger growing in my chest as the dark within me reached out towards the Digimon eagerly. My nostrils flared, my lips twitched, my eyes darkened. There was no doubt, they weren't just there to work, though their services were probably essential. No, the Kokuwamon were serving as fertilizer for the factory's dark infestation, and for my own. My stomach clenched as I realized exactly what made them so well suited to that purpose, what I found so enticing about them. They were terrified, tired, and hurting. That pain was what I found so attractive, that suffering was what made me feel so high.

'No... no, I'm not like that!' I tried to look away, but found I couldn't pull my eyes from the Digimon any more than I could stop feeding off them. 'This isn't me, it can't be, I can't be. No, no, I'm not like this, I won't be like this.' It was so satisfying to watch them squirm, so exquisite. Their pain eased mine, their suffering negating my own. 'I won't!' I pressed my hands on the window, shoving myself away ruffly, breaking contact. A fine sweat broke out across my skin like a sheet of ice, my breath came in quiet gasps as my hands trembled discreetly. My head was spinning, my insides burning.

"Hey," snapped the Minomon sharply. I jerked, startled, my navy eyes meeting the Digimon's black ones. "Please keep your hands off the glass, it's not easy to clean you know."

"Sorry," I apologized swiftly, crossing my arms securely across my chest and starring intently at my shoes. Silence descended like dust on the company, all eyes focusing on me uncomfortably. I let my hair fall across my eyes, wanting nothing more than to shrink into the nonexistent shadows. Fortunately for me, J.P. chose that moment to start hopping around like an idiot, pulling the worlds attention onto him.

"What's wrong," asked Tommy innocently, staring at him like he had just sprouted an extra head.

"I really need to find a bathroom, like right now!" And with that, he took off at a dead waddle, hands in the defensive position, legs flailing at strange angles. I blinked after him, an idea that wasn't necessarily mine blooming in my mind.

"It's on the left," called the Minomon good-naturedly, though its tone was rather baffled. Only slightly conscious of my actions, I began to follow the desperate boy down the hall. "Where are you going," demanded the small Digimon.

"The bathroom," I replied simply with little more than a vague glance over my shoulder. My dark eyes served as a subtle warning not to stop me. "To the left, right?" The Minomon nodded dumbly, the rest of the humans blinking as though lost, Bokomon scowled after me warily. Neemon didn't even seem to notice what was happening; he was quite absorbed in the most difficult task of sliding across the floor on his socks.

"That kid's kinda strange," Takuya commented a quietly as he could once I turned the corner.

"Yeah, what's up with him? He's creepy."

"Stop it you two," Zoe admonished, sending the boys into a bit of a pout. "There's something going on with him that we don't know about."

"So? He can trust us. I mean, who are we going t' tell?" Oh, if he had any idea. How does 'my long lost twin brother' work? Too dramatic?

"Yeah, I mean, we all want to get home right? So shouldn't we stick together?"

"Yeah, tell that to Kouji."

"What do you mean, Kouji's always seemed nice enough to me."

"That's 'cause you never actually had to talk to him. I mean, the guy practically walked right through me the last time we met. Even after I tried to help him, not even a 'thank you' or a 'I couldn't have done it without your help'. Just a 'don't touch me' and a really cold shoulder. And that look... I think he hates me. He doesn't want anything to do with any of us!" My breath caught, my eyes bright. So he couldn't see them either, he treated everyone the way he treated me, like I didn't exist, like I wasn't worth his time. Maybe that was just the way he was, maybe there was hope for me to hold on to, to keep me from surrendering to this black inside me.

"Takuya, you don't know if that's true. Yes he's a bit of a jerk, but I'm sure it's not personal. He could just be shy." The unspoken words that followed this statement were 'or he could really not want to be with us'. They hung like acid in the air, souring the mood.

"Well, Kouichi doesn't look like he's out here to make friends either, maybe those two should get together! I mean, they look exactly alike, they could be twins!" Oh, the irony! I almost snorted.

"That would be really weird to see, especially since they're not related!" Tommy giggled at his own comment, most likely picturing me and my twin side by side in some fashion. A part of me couldn't help but wonder if I was really that good of a liar or if they were just stupid.

"Who knows, maybe they are." A spark of intelligence, from Takuya none the less. I was rather impressed. The notion that they may have discovered my secret terrified me, but at the same time, it was oddly comforting. It was almost as if I wanted them to see through me, to do for me what I couldn't, or give me the strength and support I needed to do it myself. As if I wanted them to be there for me, to trust them enough to share my pain. I wanted them to be my friends.

"Why would Kouichi lie about something like that?" But they couldn't. They couldn't be what I needed. They couldn't save me from my fate. Disappointment swelled within me and I leaned my head back against the wall, allowing my eyes to close. Nothing could. No one denied my claims, no one called my bluff. Instead they said nothing, resigned to Tommy's innocent wisdom and inherent rightness. What was there to say to such childlike trust in the integrity of humanity? I was beginning to despise silence.

"That's enough of that." The two boys audibly straitened. "You two only met him today, maybe he's just a little shy and isn't ready for your insanity yet. Give him a little time before you go judging and looking for conspiracies." I could almost see Takuya and Tommy hanging their heads, almost feel Zoe's eyes at my back. "If he want's to be with us, then he will. If he trusts us, then he'll trust us. It's that simple." How I wished she was right.

"Simple? I didn't understand a word that just came outta your mouth." There was the distinct sound of someone being hit over the head accompanied by Zoe's shouts and Tommy's giggling. I couldn't stop my lips from twitching enviously. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot."

"Come on! It would take at least three years of some kind of philosophy class to understand you!"

"Oooo, big word," Zoe quipped playfully, if not slightly flirtatiously.

"Zoe, I didn't really understand you either," mumbled Tommy shyly, as though afraid she would be as short with him as she had with Takuya.

"That's understandable, _I_ don't really know what I said," she comforted, her voice softening instantaneously. I could almost hear Takuya muttering. "What I meant was, he's probably not too sure about us yet. But when he makes up his mind, for better or worse." There was a pause where she was probably giving Takuya a pointed look. "We'll be there for him. It's like you said Tommy, we're all in this together so we have to be there for each other, to help each other out." Help each other... like Mom and I. We never really had any one else besides Grandma, so we had to look after one another. We were alone here too. They continued chatting amiably, their banter a soft buzz beneath the high voice of the Minomon. Bokomon remained silent, keeping my secret safe and fulfilling his promise thus far. With a small, honest grin, I continued on my quest to find the toilet. Perhaps it wasn't as hopeless as I thought. Perhaps...

'Who are you trying to deceive here? Yourself?' I froze just as I rounded the corner. This was a dead end, a hall way never meant for human eyes, a place without lights or glass or lies. This was what the factory actually looked, dark, narrow. On one wall the bathroom door sat innocently, leaning close to the light to discourage any further exploration. The sounds of relief could be heard from just beyond the threshold, sounds that, under normal circumstances, would have caused my eyebrows to ascend into my hairline. Further down, the shadows ruled, whispering to me. Boxes were stacked inconspicuously on the right and on the left... on the left there were bars. 'Yes, see the truth of the world, feel its cruelty and anguish!' A bright, cyan light came between the bars as I moved closer, screams ringing in my ears.

"Come on, hurry it up," yelled a rather thuggish voice. The light came again, accompanied by the cries. I moved closer, my back to the boxes, pulled to their pain by some invisible, intangible cord.

'Can you feel it? This is what your hope brings, what will happen when you are forced to rely on another. They will use you, hurt you, betray you, and leave you. Their presence can only increase the pain and you will become like these pathetic creatures, consumed by fear and agony and easily bent to their will. See your future with the humans, know that in the end,there is only you.' The shrieks came again, louder this time, ringing in my ears and sending chills across my skin. I threw up my arms, shielding my eyes as best I could, but there was no blocking out the vision. 'Only you and the dark.' The Goblimon had about six Kokuwamon hooked up to advanced looking equipment which seemed to be harvesting the electricity they were giving off. If it was just that, I might not have been terribly concerned, but there was the little matter of how why they were releasing that electricity. One of the Goblimon guards had several buckets of water and was dumping them onto some of the Digimon, causing them to short circuit and whimper in fear and misery while the other beat the rest mercilessly with his club. With each hit the light and screams came and more energy was released. And with each of their squeals the darkness inside of me seemed more satisfied. The pain decreased and the numbness consumed me. I felt better watching them suffer. I felt _pleased _by their fear. I felt nauseous. So much pain, the darkness swirled gleefully, sickeningly. I couldn't take it, couldn't allow myself to become that creature... or to admit that it had already taken root within me.

"Hey," I yelled, throwing myself against the bars. What I thought I was going to do, I can't really say I know, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't have a coherent plan in any form. The Goblimon stopped their work and looked over at me dumbly. "What are you doing!" I slid through the wide bars easily, my thin frame quite the opposite from the Kokuwamon's bulky build. The Goblimon blinked at me once and then turned away to continue with their work. Clearly, one human boy wasn't much of a threat to either of them alone, much less together and armed. "Stop it!" I grabbed one of their arms, trying to pull it away from the Kokuwamon vainly. He swung around, tossing me like some kind of weightless doll. My back hit the wall hard, shoving the air from my lungs and darkening the world for a moment. I yelped, my eyes widening briefly before unconsciousness began to call. Before I could hit the floor a giant, green hand caught me by the throat, pinning me easily against the cement. I squirmed, clawing at the rough flesh. The Goblimon just smiled, pleased.

"It's a pink outsider," the one holding me commented stupidly.

"What do we do with it," asked the other. I glanced at the Kokuwamon pleadingly, but they looked about as useless as me. They cowered in the corner, shocked in more than just a metaphorical sense.

"Let go," I gasped, my fingers digging into the Goblimon's hand. He didn't seem to notice. As a matter of fact, he didn't even look at me.

"Pink outsider's not supposed to know about this."

"Where he come from?"

"Hello?" A voice floated down to us from further up the hall, laced with concern and confusion.

"J.P.!" I cried desperately. The Goblimon tightened his grip for a moment, then released me. I crumpled to the floor, panting on my hands and knees.

"Kouichi? Is that you? Where are you?" the Goblimon reached down and grasped my arm, jerking me to my feet again like I was some sort of puppet. I was beginning to dislike that feeling... passionately.

"Make him go away," he hissed, his putrid breath in my face, his tusks mere centimeters from my nose. I'm not going to lie, I was scared. He twisted my arm painfully to emphasize his point, or just to extract a grimace from me. I stared at him defiantly, refusing to make a sound. "Make him go away!" I gasped as he squeezed my arm harder, his fingers wedged in between my muscles to the bone.

"I'm here," I called through gritted teeth, unable to move. The Goblimon pushed me ruffly between the bars, keeping his own hand out of sight. J.P. was standing a few meters away, his body angled conveniently so that he could see me, but nothing within the chamber. His eyebrows were knit with concern and suspicion, his hands still grasping his towel. "J.P.-san."

"What's going on? Why are you..."

"It's nothing," I insisted, biting my tongue as the Goblimon twisted my arm at an odd angle. "It's nothing, I just... needed to use the rest room."

"It's up here," he pointed out warily, gesturing over his shoulder at the door. I winced, glancing at the Goblimon and back to him pointedly.

"I know. I'll be there in a minute. You can go now."

"Is everything all right, you seem a little tense." I chewed on my lip nervously, eyeing the Goblimon out of the corner of my eye. He looked almost lost, as though his brain could barley connect my words to what I was saying. Maybe, if I played it right, his one track mind wouldn't pick up on anything I told J.P. about what was happening. J.P. frowned craning his neck to follow my gaze.

"Make him go away," the Goblimon growled, raising his club threateningly. The other's eyes gleamed gleefully as he moved towards the bars. My head jerked sharply as he gave me a shake, causing the world to start floating for a moment. J.P. was still advancing, starring at me as if I needed an exorcist or something.

"I'm fine," I snapped, glaring at him warningly. J.P. stopped moving abruptly, trying to understand what I was trying to tell him.

"You don't look fine." Curse him and his persistence, this wasn't getting me or the Kokuwamon aywhere.

"Looks can be deceiving," I hinted, my eyes moving none-too-descretely to the well lit hallways from our tour. "The other's are waiting for you. There's still a lot to see here." He didn't seem to get it.

"I could wait for you, if you want." Now he was just being overly polite. It was as if we were playing a game of sherades and he had just offered me a breather and a glass of water while the timer was running. Had this not been a 'life or death' game, I would have laughed. As things were, I was understandably annoyed.

"No!" He looked startled by the sharpness in my voice. I shifted nervously, licking my lips. "No, it's all right. As a matter of fact..." I needed to warn him, to get him away from here, to get them all away from this dangerous place. He wasn't getting my hints, so I was just going to have to risk being more direct. I prayed the Goblimon were as dense as I thought they were."You were right."

"Right? About what?" I felt the need to hit myself in the forehead. The Goblimon blinked stupidly, thankfully unaware of any plotting on my part. I was gambling and hadn't lost yet, so I kept going, cautious.

"Earlier, when you said that... this place might have... dust. When you mentioned that it might be dangerous-" The Goblimon jerked my arm warningly at the urging of his little buddy. So, they weren't as stupid as they looked. Great. "Because of your dust allergy."

"My dust allergy?" He looked absolutely lost, if not slightly creeped out, as though he suspected me of hearing things or having some sort of manic disorder. Granted, he wasn't far from the truth, but that wasn't the point.

'Come on, J.P.-san, put it together.'

"Yes," I hissed harshly. "That's why it's not safe for you here. You should meet up with the others and leave."

"What are you saying? What about you?" He seemed to be getting the general idea, panic sliding into his voice. Luckily for me, the Goblimon was either too confident or too thick to catch that.

"I'll... that's not important." They had to leave. I was just one boy without much of a future anyway, my life wasn't particularly important compared to theirs. If the Goblimon got ahold of the others too, well to be perfectly blunt, they would kill us all or worse. They. Had. To. Leave.

"Not important," J.P. asked indignantly, shoving his towel into his pocket and advancing. Clearly, two unarmed human boys stood a much better chance against two dangerous and powerful Digimon than one. The feeling in my arm was beginning to fade, leaving only pricks of pain like toxic needles every where. "Everyone is important! You expect us to just leave you here? That's not what friends do." I was touched, really. I'd had friends before... well, I had people I spent time with at school and laughed with at the Youth retreats, but none quite like this. He was willing to risk himself to help me. In all likelihood, he probably had next to no clue what he was getting himself into or exactly what it was that he had to save me from, but it was the offer that counted.

"I appreciate the offer, but, if I may be blunt, you can't stay." He felt the need to protect me, however brash and misguided that need was. And that gave me all the more reason to protect him. My time was running out as the Goblimon's patience ran thin. The one not cutting off the circulation to my arm began to advance towards J.P., club in hand. "J.P.-san please," I begged, my voice urgent. "Just go."

"We're not going to leave you. so either you march your butt over to that toilet or I'll come drag you there myself. Then we can go back to the others, together." I had to make him go away, I had to make him understand... or fear. If he was afraid, then he would leave, I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his breath. Power rose within me, darkness filling my head as my eyes blackened. Pain, emotion, sensation, they all faded away like shapes at dusk, leaving only one thing in the void, one reason for existence, one thought and memory. Purpose. Right now, that purpose was to get the human before me to leave. And he would, the darkness guarantied it. Drawing on the fear of the Kokuwamon, the malevolence of the Goblimon, and my own bitter loneliness, I breathed calmly, freezing the world for a moment.

"J.P.," I said quietly, my voice somehow seeming to echo in the stillness around me as I stared strait into his eyes. He tried to look away, to back away, but my gaze held him like a fly in a web. I grinned. "You need to go now."

"Hey, J.P., what's the hold up," Takuya called from down the hall.

"Yeah, the Minomon's gonna take us to the cafeteria! Aren't you hungry?" J.P. looked torn, confused, afraid even.

"Go play with your friends, J.P.," I urged darkly. "I'll be along soon." He tore his eyes from mine fiercely, glancing over his shoulder, then back to me, as if trying to find a reason not to obey. I gave him none. He stepped back tentatively, then, without a word, turned and began to jog back to the group. I watched his retreating back, smiling in satisfaction. It may seem difficult to believe, but people don't listen to me much. I don't usually speak up or offer suggestions, but when I do it's because I really think what I say could make a difference and help. And yes, people nod and insert the occasional 'hai', and they tell me what a sweet thing it is to say, and they smile at me, but they never actually listen. When the day is done, my comments don't matter, my suggestions just aren't practical, and I haven't considered all the variables. Not even my own mother takes what I say seriously and I... I'm too weak and shy and non-confrontational to do a thing about it.

But now things were different. This darkness, this thing inside of me, it wasn't scared of a fight, it wanted one. It was smart and strong and very aware of it. It knew what had to be done and how to do it and was more than happy to point this out. If there was a problem, it would get rid of it, if there was something in the way, it would destroy it. None could stand against it, none could control it, none would dare to resist it. It was dark, it was powerful, and it... was me. I liked that power, I didn't want to go back to the way things were, to the way I was. I didn't want to be weak and at the mercy of everything around me. And this darkness, this power, would always be there to make that happen.

The Goblimon yanked me back through the bars before J.P. could turn the corner, releasing me carelessly. I stumbled for a moment, but miraculously I didn't fall. Instead I took two steadying steps and stood still, grasping my arm. The darkness swirled around me and within me. "No what do we do with this one?"

"Put it with the Kokuwamon."

"No, it might get away and talk to the other pink outsiders. Maybe we can kill it?"

"Let's take it to the boss."

"Yeah, he'll know what to do with it." One of them reached out to grab me again, but I jerked away.

"Do not touch me," I said coldly, turning to face them. I felt taller, stronger, more powerful, intimidating. Every wrathful action, every squeal of pain, every negative emotion that had strengthened the factory was now feuling me. I was growing more formidable by the minute, and these two were in the way. The darkness danced gleefully as my eyes began to take on a dull, garnet hue. There was something out there I needed to find, something that was calling to me. The crimson image from my dream flashed before my eyes. I had to go to it, and along the way I would do some of the things my weak humanity had been putting off. There were things out there that needed changing, things that had hurt me that needed hurting, things that had to be destroyed. And I would start with these two. A small grin curled my lips as I stared at the Digimon, savoring their fear, enjoying the moment before the kill.

'Wait,' whispered a small voice inside of me. 'What am I doing?'

'We're going to banish these insignificant beasts,' a harsher one answered.

'But.' I blinked, my eyes phasing slowly back to normal. Pain licked the edges of my consciousness and I reached up to hold my head for a moment with one hand. The other placed itself firmly against the wall, steadying me. 'That's wrong.' I cried out as my skull- no, my entire body began to constrict around me. My fingers dug into my scalp, my knees bucking beneath me, the darkness in my mind protesting my assertiveness violently. Yet, I still refused to do it. I refused to hurt the Digimon that had caused me so much pain, to accept the power as a part of my mind and soul. Refused to let myself become the creature that feeds on others pain and inflicted damage for no more reason then that there was something there to hurt. Every part of me ached, every nerve sobbing as the onslaught continued, never hesitating, never stopping, determined to get me back. 'No!' Then it was over. I lay panting on my hands and knees, my head floating away, my vision oddly yellow, my ears clogged. My limbs were shaking so badly I had to lock my elbows to keep from falling on my face and my skin was slick with sweat. I could hear my breath and my heard racing, see my hands on the floor, but everything else was distant and fuzzy. But the pain was gone, the darkness nothing more than a shadow in my mind. For the moment. I could feel it waiting, watching for an opening, hungering to be in control once more.

"It's not a normal pink outsider," came a thick voice from just above me.

"We take him to the master now," another said. I felt something strong grab me about the waist and hoist me onto a hard shoulder. The Goblimon, they were taking me somewhere. "He'll know what it is." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the other Goblimon pull something that looked like a lever in the stone. There was a hissing sound and then we were going through the wall, as if some sort of door had opened that hadn't been there before. I couldn't really make sense of it, my brain was still refusing to process anything but the simplest sensory data. Then we were moving again, the Goblimon's lumbering gait causing me to bounce around on his shoulder uncomfortably. If he noticed, he made no attempt to hold me in place. The passage was wide and low, lit by torches that were barely burning, the air stale and dense. Shadows slept against every wall, leaning lazily away from the fire light and licking brackets when they could. It was cool, but not cold, damp, but not wet. After a minute or two of this, my vision began to return to its full, not yellow capacity and I could feel the blood returning to my face. Slowly, my mind began to clear and my body ceased to feel like a wet noodle. I was able to flex my fingers and shift my torso, and crane my neck to memorize the passage we had just come through. It was slightly curved, but there were no forks or hidden turns. I suppose that since it was the Goblimon who needed to navigate this particular tunnel, then any such tricks would be counter productive.

"Where," I tried, but it came out as more of a mild rasp or a choking sound. Swallowing the lump at the back of my throat, I tested my voice again. "Where are you taking me?" No response. "Put me down." Still nothing. I began to squirm, trying vainly to free myself from his grasp. "Put me down!" Suddenly, the Goblimon swung me off his shoulder and tossed me through an arch way and into a brightly lit room. I gasped as I hit the floor, my world spinning for a moment. The walls around me were industrial silver and metallic, the floor a pale yellow... or maybe I was just about to pass out again. There was an elevated chair type device right in front of me and an opening into a larger room with a thick, light cyan post surrounded by a burgundy ring that slanted up from the floor in the middle. Where I was there was a ceiling several meters above the chair, but it appeared that the area around the post was more open, leading up to a platform perhaps a hundred meters above the ground. I couldn't see all the ceiling in that room.

"What is this," came a rather angry sounding voice. I tried to push myself up and made it all the way to my feet for half a second before I lost my balance and fell to my knees. "Kneeling before your betters? Well, at least you have some manners." Gritting my teeth, I tried again, this time receiving help from one of the Goblimon. "Goblimon, what is the meaning of this!" Timidly, I glanced up to see what the voice was coming from. Sitting, or crouching, or lounging, on the top of the chair was a creature that could only be described as some kind of giant, mutated praying-mantis. In the place of hands it had long, curved blades that looked like they might just be sharp enough to cut through cement and hard enough to polish diamonds. It's mouth was a two rows of teeth to rival its blades and its four feet were wide and equipped with four toes. Just beneath its arms there were two extra limbs, one on each side, that looked like they might serve as pincers. Where eyes should have been there were just bright orange markings that contrasted vividly with the rest of its grass green body. Its abdomen poked out behind it and it's transparent wings suck out of its back rigidly. It was drinking some kind of dark brown, iced drink from a straw shaped like a ringlet and looking very upset by our disturbance.

"Excuse me, Snimon sir, this soft pink outsider was touring the factory and saw us with the Kokuwamon. You told us no outsiders were supposed to see us with the Kokuwamon and it saw us so we brought it to you so you could decide what to do with it," the Goblimon said, his tone mechanical with definite high and low points in the intonation that didn't really correspond to anything. It sounded practiced, I was impressed. When the Snimon didn't respond, he shoved me forward towards him, like some kind of peace offering. I stumbled, but caught myself before I fell over again. Snimon looked at me, at least, I think he did, and then to the Goblimon. I thought he looked rather angry.

"He did what!" Yep, definitely angry. I flinched away as it- he flew down, slicing his drink in two and spraying me with ice crystals. He was tall, about twice my height if not taller an heavy. His impact rippled up my legs, causing me to wobble for a moment. "How did this happen?! What were you doing? How could you be so careless!" Even the Goblimon were shaking, or their version of it. At least they backed up. I didn't have anywhere to go.

"We were just doing our job boss."

"It just jumped in." Snimon turned his attention to me, sliding one blade beneath my jaw and pressing it against my neck threateningly. My throat constricted, I couldn't breath, couldn't move.

"Who have you told," Snimon demanded, pressing his blade into my skin. "Speak human!"

"No one," I whimpered, wanting little more than to reach up and push the dangerous edge away from me.

"It didn't, we didn't let it. There was another one, but we made it go away," boasted the Goblimon in that same mechanical tone. Snimon pressed harder. I yelped like a dog.

"What did he see, this other one?" The Goblimon tried to answer, but the question was for me. "Answer me human or I'll take your head off."

"He saw me, but that's all," I said quietly, closing my eyes. Some how, I felt like I was selling the others out by talking; but at the same time, I had little choice. "He saw me there, but he left before he saw the Goblimon or Kokuwamon."

"How many are there?" I could feel a small bead of warm wettness at the point where the tip of Snimon's blade dug into my neck.

"Five," I gasped, chewing my lip. "Five including me." Technically, Kouji wasn't there at the factory, though I'm fairly sure he was referring to the Digital World.

"How many have Spirits?"

"Have what?" I was trying to play dumb. I didn't know much about these Spirits, but based on the knowledge I did have, they were not something you wanted to advirtize.

"Lord Cherubimon has sent out an order to all Digimon to find the Spirits of the Ten Legendary Warriors and take them from the human children," Snimon clarified, aggravated. "How many of these humans have Spirits?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Lying again, but this time it was to protect the others rather than deceive them. They needed those Spirits to get home and I wasn't about to sick the psycho mantis on them.

"Really. Well, if that's the case, then you're nothing more than an intruder who's seen too much." I was going to die. Snimon was going to kill me. And no one would know why. No one would know that I died to protect the other people in this world, to save them. No one would know that I was here to find Kouji to begin with, that I had tried to speak to him so many times before and failed. Kouji would never know who I was or that I even existed or that I had searched for him, stalked him, hated him. No one would even notice I was gone. "So long, human!" I could feel the blade as it moved across my neck, preparing to slice. It was all over before it began.

"Kouji," I whispered, closing my eyes and preparing to face this with as much dignity as I could. The blade was barely moving, savoring my anticipation like honey. This was the end.

"Snimon!" The blade was pulled away from me and I crumpled in relief, breathing hard and shaking. "Did you forget the rest of what Cherubimon-sama said?" This voice was new, distinctly different from any I had heard before. This one was soft and silky, like satin drapes billowing in a midnight breeze, and cold and unforgiving, like the icy depths of a frozen pond. It was seductive and dangerous and commanding and would not be taken lightly.

"Nabikasumon," Snimon exclaimed, turning around sharply and hitting me with his abdomen. "No, no, of course I haven't forgotten! How could I go against any of Lord Cherubimon orders. You know my loyalty is unwavering!"

"Really," the new voice, Nabikasumon, sounded skeptical. I could feel him moving closer, but couldn't bring myself to look up yet. "So you weren't about to kill one of the humans then."

"No, I... was just trying to make him talk! Yeah, I was trying to make him tell me about the Spirits!" I had thought that Snimon was in charge at this factory. Apparently, he was only in a tentative second at the moment.

"The Human Spirits of Fire, Wind, and Ice are here right now, you don't need some human child to tell you that unless you really are the idiot I first took you to be." He sounded annoyed and that sounded bad.

"I was just-"

"I know exactly what you were just-" cut in Nabikasumon, irritated. " But in the future, perhaps you should check with me before you do anything unbearably stupid, you almost decapitated the human Cheribumon-sama sent me to find."

"_This _is the boy Lord Cherubimon's after?!" What? Were they talking about me? Red eyes flashed across my vision, thick purple hands closing in around me, a deep, raspy voice pouring in my ears. _'Kouichi' _Cherubimon... Cherubimon-sama. I gasped, my eyes widening fearfully. It was him, he was coming for me, he was going to find me and this Digimon was going to take me to him. No, I wouldn't go, the last thing I needed was to be taken to the source of all evil in the Digital World. Slowly, I pushed myself to my feet, inching backwards.

The Goblimon weren't watching me, they were clearly to absorbed in the argument to think of anything besides the possibility that it might come to blows, and Snimon was too busy defending himself. His opponent, Nabikasumon, was a serpent like Digimon no more than half a meter taller then me. He had a very simplistic design with a long, thin viper-like head that slid seamlessly into his long, thin body. About the time it touched the floor, his body split into six identical pieces, each ending in a whiplike tail three or four times as long as the rest of him. These did not simply lay on the floor lifelessly. Instead they were constantly in motion, flailing like ribbons around him, tangling and untangling, here one moment, there the next. Sometimes it even looked as though they were witching the piece of body the originated from. His eyes were large, violet orbs on his head, his skin chalk white, his voice simply coming from him. When his voice softened dangerously, his wide serpent lips split open, revealing the two, long, thin ivory fangs his soft, pink mouth. This was the creature Cherubimon-sama had sent to collect me, the one I had to get away from.

"Yes, this is the one he wants. The darkness within him is beyond anything you could imagine, beyond anything we have found in the Digital World thus far." They weren't watching me, this was my chance. I began to take bigger steps, never taking my eyes off the Digimon.

"But he's so..."

"Don't even try to understand, you can't. Be content with the knowledge Cherubimon-sama sees fit to share with you." I was almost to the tunnel. Once there, I could run to the other end and shut the door. The Goblimon weren't particularly fast over long distances and the tunnel was too low for Snimon to fly through. I could make it. "You are here because he allows it and you keep this place because you will take its data soon. Never forget that."

"Yes sir." I turned and began to run. The tunnel entrance was right there, they couldn't stop me now.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." The voice shot through my mind, a high pitched warbling that numbed any part of me that tried to fight it. And then Nabikasumon was in front of me, his tails surrounding my body like an organic ring, blocking any exit. I skidded to a halt, glancing around, panicked, his eyes trapping me in an unblinking stare. He seemed to be smirking at me, his mouth opening wide and his head descended to hover just before my face, fangs glinting. A fine, black mist came out, hovering about me like a cloud of microscopic, silent gnats. My body went ridged, I couldn't move no matter how hard I tried, couldn't so much as look away from those massive amethyst eyes. Then it concentrated, diving into my eyes, almost as if there was something just behind them it had to get to. I gasped, throwing back my head and arching my back as everything began to darken. Then my body went limp and I felt something catch me before I hit the ground. From a long way away, I heard the voice again, cooing softly, the intangible words skimming across my fading consciousness. "Such a frail creature. Nevertheless, it is you. You can never escape, Son of Darkness; Cherubimon-sama had something special planned for you." Then there was nothing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: To be truthful, this has been almost done for more than a few weeks. I was hoping to get it up a few days after Thanksgiving, but obviously that didn't happen. The truth is that one of my friends committed suicide on December 2 and I lost my will to write for a bit. Sorry to be so blunt, but there's really no other way to say it. If I may, I would really appreciate it if everyone who reads this could take five minutes and stop by my profile page. I've put something up. There's no way I can force you to do this, but it would mean so much to me if you all could. Hopefully, there has been no drop in quality, though I must warn you, it has not been beta read. From me to you. Thank you and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own most of the things you don't recognize, but nothing else.**

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_I was in the forest again, walking slowly, searching. The rain hit me like a thousand tiny whips, stinging my skin as though my clothes weren't even there. Not that they offered much protection in normal cold, but a little shielding would have been nice. The trees were dead or as good as dead, all their leaves shed, their branches thin, spidery claws reaching for me, trying to restrain me, to keep me from my goal. My goal... What was my goal? Who was it that I was looking for? Night pressed in all around me, there was no life, no air, almost as though the forest were constricting like a serpent. The purple-green mist was thicker than before, swirling about me impatiently, grabbing at my arms and legs. Shadows loomed everywhere, behind the trees, inside the rain, even my own was staring at me greedily. They weren't even shadows anymore, actually, more like... a concentration of darkness, as the glow from the mist that lit my path was little more than a lack of darkness. Why was I here? Why had I come? The rain made no sound, my footsteps silent in the mud, the mist coiled around me as I pushed through it. _

_"Kouji," I called uncertainly. 'Kouji, Kouji, Kouji,' the shadows whispered back teasingly. I tried to ignore them, my feet moving mechanically through the muck. "Kouji, are you here? Where are you?" 'Where are you? Where are you?' The shadows answered like some kind of obnoxious parrot. I bit my tongue and pressed on to no place in particular. The forest seemed so tight, so small, black and grey walls of swirling darkness creating a sphere about eight meters in diameter with me at its center, yet I never ran into a wall. It just kept going and going like I was in one of those hamster balls. "Kouji? Kouji, please, if you're out there say something, anything!" 'Anything, anything.' I gasped as something very solid grabbed me by the arm, pulling me backwards. I yielded easily, stumbling and turning sharply. No one, nothing, only the leering forms of darkness. Gingerly, I steadied myself against a slick tree trunk, glancing around as if the assailant was still within my line of vision... somehow. I opened my mouth to call out, but the shadows did it for me. 'Kouji, Kouji, Kouji? Kouji, Kouji, Kouji?' No answer, nothing. _

_I sighed and turned to keep moving. Why or where I was going, I don't think I'll ever know, but I had to go. I had to find him, at least, I thought I did. What other reason could I possibly have had for being in this desolate place if I wasn't looking for him? A dead branch snapped, leaves rustled like footsteps to my right. I spun around, my frozen limbs like lead, my balance barely qualifying to be called such. There, in the trees, there was something- no, someone. Someone I knew. "Kouji!" I started to run, following the broken trees and the wobbling branches, the splashing of something moving just behind the next turn. "Kouji, wait! Don't go! Kouji, stop!" My throat burned from yelling as the icy air tore at it like a collection of reluctant knives protesting the sudden movement. I could see him now, he was just ahead of me. I could see his back, the flash of his shoes, his hair as it flicked around a corner like a wolf's tail. I ran faster, ignoring the pain, listening to my blood as it pounded through me. This time I was going to catch him. This time, we were going to speak. We would make the family whole again, we could all be happy again. Everything I wanted, everything I needed was just in front of me, just out of my grasp. And as soon as I found it, as soon as we were together, my life would be perfect. I could see my destiny running just ahead of me. _

_Suddenly, something reached out, grabbing me firmly just above my elbows. I yelped as my ams were practically torn from their sockets. I would have fallen if their grip hadn't been so strong, so controlling. They held me in place, restraining me even as I pulled against them, my breath catching and tearing. "Let go! Kouji! Kouji!" I screamed, not bothering to see what it was that had me. He kept running, pushing through the darkness as though it wasn't even there, his eyes fixed ahead, his ears deaf to my voice. "Kouji, no!" Even as I cried for him, as I begged him to save me, my body began to slacken in despair. How could he save someone he didn't know lived? He didn't turn, just kept running, fading into the distance. The black wall that held me didn't exist for him, it couldn't contain him, couldn't stop him. He wasn't like me. Kouji passed right through the dark sphere, leaving me alone. I blinked, my breath caught, my heart began to quicken. "No... NO!" I yelled, jerking suddenly against my restraints, thrashing like a fish on a hook, fighting desperately to follow him. "You can't do this to me! You can't just leave me! I'm your brother, your twin! We're blood, you can't!" The words tore at my throat, I felt something oddly warm in my mouth, almost like when you get a rug-burn and imagine you can feel the wetness of blood on your knee even when you are staring right at the dry skin. That pain wasn't important, but it __was__ infuriating, fueling my rage. "You have to come back, can't just leave me here." Here by myself. Alone. Alone with __him__. _

_"He can't hear you," whispered a voice by my ear, a low, rough, growl. It was... familiar. "He's not capable. The light can't recognize the darkness. To do so would be to admit it's own flawed nature, that it has failed in seizing everything for itself." I stopped moving, tensing like a statue as the words slid into my unwilling mind. _

_"What do you mean," I asked slowly, staring straight forward, my gaze empty. Chilled breath tickled my neck, sending goosebumps down my arms and spine while a solid and heatless form pressed against my back, enticing me to turn around and discover what was hiding in the gloom. "What are you saying?"_

_"Only what you already know to be true," murmured the voice. My breath slowed as numbness began to tingle at my fingertips. "Kouji will never notice you or admit to your existence. If he did, your presence would be nothing but a burden to him, you little more than an obstacle to overcome. He would destroy you merely because you are not like him, and then he would take everything that was yours, that could be yours. Everything that should be yours. That is his nature."_

_"That can't be." My thoughts were slow, sluggish, cold, but my senses were sharper than ever. The longer I was in the strange forest, the more at home I felt, the more appeasing it became. All knowledge was fading from my mind, replaced by raw emotion and sensation. Instead of knowing that my mother was sick, I felt an overwhelming sense of grief ; instead of thinking of ways to fix my life, I felt rage and a insurmountable desire for some form of vengeance. I could sense the creature behind me, sense its power. But the strongest feeling of all, the one that could not be drowned out by the creatures tainted logic, the one I __knew__ this place wanted me to forget, was a sense of ethics. I still felt just how wrong it was to fell the way I did. I could still distinguish between morally right and selfish hunger. And it was wrong to hate my brother. "He doesn't know I'm alive, we've never actually met. How can you know what he'd do? How can you know how he thinks?" The creature's grip tightened and I winced, trying to jerk away._

_"I don't need to meet him," it hissed, angry, sickeningly dangerous, "I've seen him through your eyes, seen him joke and laugh and play while you work harder than any of the others just to stay alive. Seen him look straight at you and not see, and ignore. Seen him live his happy life while you suffer in the shadows, shine so brightly, so brazenly, that even your own father abandoned your mother and you and still refuses to acknowledge your mere existence. All for __him__. He's proven time and again that he doesn't care about your pain, that you matter less to him than that obnoxious bandana of his." I closed my eyes and hung my head, unable to truly and certainly deny anything it had just said. It sensed my indecision, my weakness. Smirking, it released me and moved its... hands, if you could call them that, to my ears. I shivered, trying not to think about those hands. They were five fingered and frozen, like dead paws, the hard but still remotely fuzzy skin sliding easily through my hair like one of those fake, bobble-head dogs. Claws that were never distinguished from the hands made little dents in the sides of my face, causing me to hold myself as still as was possible. _

_"I don't mean anything to him, I'm not even there as far as he is concerned," I said blankly, stating the only concussing I could have possibly come to, the only thing that made any sense. Despair swelled within me, but I couldn't do anything, my body just wouldn't move, my expression just wouldn't change. I felt hollow, alone, wrathful, and cold. Above all cold. _

_"Yes, you are nothing to Kouji. He has taken everything from you and will continue to do so as long as he remains. Your life is meaningless so long as he exists." The voice seemed to come from the hands now, surrounding me. There was no denying it, no escaping it. "All of your patience and hope have led you only to pain. If you want results, you need power." The hands moved again, one sliding to my shoulder while the other reached around my head, grasping my chin gently. "The power of darkness." It tilted my head up, forcing my gaze onto a crimson object. My eyes widened, my stomach clenched, my heart stopped. _

_It was small, maybe the size of a basket ball, and glowing. A thick, crimson mist surrounded it and emanated from it, staining my forest with color. The surface was black and smooth, solid across most of the body. At its center, there was a wide, scarlet eye, the white looking unnatural and out of place. Fanning from the central eye was a web of black rods stretched over red flesh. Two pillar like forms framed the edges, their bases sharp and crowned with more eyes. They slid upwards, bleeding into another set of eyes, these ones larger and staring straight out to either side, unblinking. At the peaks two skeletal dragon heads perched, their teeth bared, their eye sockets empty holes. The object was crowned with a skull-like helmet, its empty eyes narrow and unforgiving, spikes fanning out behind it. It called to me, it wanted- no, needed me. I was meant for it, and it for me. _

_"Admit to the darkness within you. Embrace your fate and become one with this Spirit of Darkness! Destroy Kouji and the light!" Darkness? Was that what this feeling was, darkness within me? I was darkness? It was my purpose to destroy the light? But Kouji. He was my brother, the embodiment of light or not, my twin. How was it right to kill him? What had he done to deserve that? Could I even do it? Could I destroy my own brother?_

_"No," I snapped defiantly, jerking away and spinning around . The disembodied hands hovered uncertainly, the glowing eyes, yellow and more solid now, narrowed in annoyance. "I won't do it! I'm not like that, I won't do it!"_

_"You are a difficult one! Nevertheless, the dark seed has already bloomed inside of you. You can't escape."_

_"No. I won't let this happen, I won't let my self become that!" I pointed at the Spirit, the incarnation of all the darkness inside of me. _

_"You're too late. Look at yourself." I blinked, gritting my teeth and setting my face. "Look." Slowly, reluctantly, I glanced down at the ground, my stomach sinking. Tendrils of darkness had consumed my feet and were grasping greedily at my knees and lower thighs. I tried to move, to get away, but their grip had grown too strong to break. "You're already becoming that. You will seek out the Spirit of Darkness and you will become one with it. That has already been decided. You will come to me of your own free will, You can not turn away now." My breath was coming in short, panicked gasps, my body trembling in fear. Lord Cherubimon leered. "I'll be waiting, Kouichi."_

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I gasped, my head jerking and my hands flexing. My fingers brushed across something cool and smooth, sending goosebumps up my arms. Cautiously, I opened my eyes, blinking uncertainly in the new light. I was out of the forest, that much was obvious, but where this new place was, I couldn't quite figure out. I raised my eyes tentatively, taking in the wide, smooth, industrial room with its silver walls and pale yellow floor. That floor was very, very far beneath me, unusually so. How was that possible? Groaning, I rolled my head into an upright position, trying to get a better angle and wincing as I did so. It was killing me, as if there were a thousand little miners inside my skull, all searching for irregular mineral deposits in the bone with honed picks. I tried to rub my temples with my semi-cool fingertips, but somehow, I couldn't move. Confused, I glanced down at my hands, staring at them in absolute astonishment. There were thick, silver bands across my wrists, holding them securely to the chair's arms, loose enough to allow me some movement, but tight enough to ensure that I wasn't going anywhere. Why? Where was I and why wasn't I allowed to leave? I scowled, trying to make sense of it, then consciousness slapped me in the face.

I grunted, straitening and straining against the bands of metal. Perhaps they had a weak spot, somewhere that would give if I tugged hard enough. My hands clenched into fists, my wrists working back and fourth, up and down. Death was unlikely at this point; however, it was preferable to what I knew they had in store for me. Snimon had wanted to kill me. Now that I knew what the other, Nabikasumon, wanted, I wished he had. He was going to take me, willing or not, to Cherubimon-sama, who would then turn me into some kind of monster. Bile climbed up my throat and I pulled harder, wiggling my wrists until I could feel the bite of the metal. I would loose myself easily if they got to me, that was clear, bend like a cooked bit of udon to their will. That couldn't be allowed to happen. I slid my arm through the loop as far as it would go, making my hand as thin as possible, tucking my thumb against my palm and straightening my fingers, even bending my pinkie in. Because if it did, if they found me and brought me to Cherubimon-sama, my brother would die. I pulled my arm back as quickly as I could, trying to ram it through the restraint. It was barely even stuck, barely to the widest point where I could squeeze myself to freedom. I began to twist my hand painfully, trying to wedge it further in. I would kill him, kill my brother, quickly, without hesitation. All for the numbness, the escape the Digimon offered. There was a sharp pain and Zoe's handkerchief was marked by a new stain. A very loud cry hissed through my teeth, drawing all attention to me.

This was particularly easy to do. Someone had placed me on top of the central chair, the one where Snimon had occupied when I'd first come in. It had since been outfitted with some new features, including several pillows and the metal bands, but it was the same tall chair. The platform it rested on was narrow, just wide enough for my feet and maybe another pair, the pillar I was perched on long and smooth, but not unclimbable. A small table jutted out to my right, bearing an assortment of oddly shaped food smelling of miso and tofu. How I was expected to eat it I couldn't say, but it was warm, enticing. The passageway, which should have been a gapping hole in the technological façade, was gone, however a small, indistinguishable lever was poking out to the left of where the passage had been. One could probably open the door using it, but it could have just as easily dropped a 16 ton weight for all I knew. There was a cluster of Goblimon off to my right. I could see them just out of the corner of my eye, doing their version of a gossip circle. My presence was big news, obviously. Snimon was nowhere to be seen and, thankfully, neither was Nabikasumon. I could make an escape, so long as I did it quietly and quickly. Gingerly, I withdrew my bleeding hand from the cuffs, examining it. The cut was across my first knuckle, small and mostly superficial, but it stung like nothing else. Wincing, I closed my hand into a fist again, trying to push out as much blood as was possible to induce clotting. I'd had my fair share of cuts and scrapes, I knew how to handle them well enough with both hands and a spare piece of cloth. Turns out that it's much harder to stop bleeding with no hands while tied to a chair.

"The pink outsider's alive," exclaimed one of the Goblimon importantly, pointing one larger, green finger at me. The rest just stared, dumbfounded. I turned sharply, peering at the boorish mob, analyzing them, looking for something that could help me. Each one carried a club and, from what I could conclude, had been assigned to guard me. For what reason seemed to escape them, none appeared particularly concerned by my movement or presence. Some were even looking rather awkward, as if I was some sort of baby giraffe that had just landed in front of them and exclaimed 'Mama'. They may have put me up here, but it was evident that they didn't have the slightest clue what to do with me.

"What he doing?"

"Don't know. Aren't we supposed to do something when he wakes up?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to tell Snimon and Nabikasumon! I remember!" He remembered? How long had I been out? I blinked several times, shaking my head slightly to make sure I was really awake.

"You! Go get him."

"No, you go get him!" The discussion didn't continue much further, unless the grunts and muffled sounds of rough flesh ramming rough flesh constituted a discussion. As easily as they had noticed me, they had forgotten. I still had time, I could still slip out unnoticed, assuming the Goblimon were as focused on conflict as I took them to be and I could get out of the chair. I started to struggle again, ignoring the pain as best I could.

"You must have realized by now how futile that is," breathed a voice from no where in particular, a voice I wished I didn't recognize. Somehow, Nabikasumon had materialized right behind me, held securely to the pole by two of his tails. The rest of them were coming around, caressing the edges of my vision as his long, thin face slid over my shoulder, one violet eye staring at me. He had no pupils, so for anyone else this might have been difficult to conclude, but I could feel it like a cold gust of wind across the side of my face. One of his tails brushed the back of my hand, his bitter scales causing me to twitch. "You may leave now," he stated to the Goblimon, not looking at them. It sounded civil, but wrapped inside was an unmistakable threat. The Goblimon froze in the middle of their... argument, blinked once collectively, and marched out of the room with as much dignity as they were capable of.

"Please, forgive their rudeness. The Goblimon are truly tactless, but they make excellent guards and soldiers. One merely has to, how to phrase this, direct their aggression." I didn't say anything. I couldn't. Trapped in a corner and my hunter was trying to make small talk before the kill. That one was going on the list of things that would have been very funny under different circumstances. "I hope you are comfortable. This is, after all, a factory and I wasn't sure how well it could suit your needs. I have done the most these incompetent fools will allow me. Are you pleased?" I risked a quick glance, 'Are you kidding' written all over my face. It- he, looked amused. "Of course, some comfort had to be sacrificed in order to assure that you wouldn't leave before I got a chance to properly introduce myself. I am Nabikasumon, servant of our Lord Cherubimon and, by extension, you, Son of Darkness."

"What did you call me," I demanded, looking at him in the most direct manner I could manage. His wide, serpent lips were twisted up into a grin, his eye still staring at me even though the rest of his body remained perfectly still.

"The Son of Darkness, the child chosen for the Spirit of Darkness, the one destined to become the greatest of us all. Ruler of the Dark World, second only to Lord Cherubimon himself!" I stared at him, amazed. Me? That couldn't be right, I was just a kid. An ordinary kid who'd had the misfortune of being informed that he had a long lost twin brother and enough of a moron to seek him out. There had never been anything particularly special about me, nothing remarkable. I was a good student, like the rest of my class, and a decent artist, like half the school. The only thing that distinguished me from all the other eleven year olds in Japan was that I had some medical expertise and, ironically, it was the one thing I wished I didn't need. This entire concept of being sought out was new to me, let alone for something as big as this.

"You're lying," I said slowly after a minute, breaking eye contact and looking at the floor. "That's impossible." He wanted something from me, that was the only logical, rational thing I could come up with. Information, perhaps, about the others and their Spirits. To think anything else was to admit to the darkness inside of me, the darkness that wanted to become all those things and more. "You're trying to use me for something."

"Ah, yes," he breathed, sustaining his 's' for longer then was necessary. "It is understandable that you would react like this. I apologize for being so presumptuous." He dipped his head, his dry, serpent tongue brushing my shoulder. "You're not used to being treated like you matter, like you're important to someone. Like fate has chosen you for something. Things such as these are usually reserved for people like..." His tongue slid between his lips thoughtfully and he tilted his head so both jeweled eyes could stare at me, savoring the moment a little more than was polite. "Kouji." I tensed, my body going ridged.

"Yes, people like him get all the glory, the action, the love. Not because they deserve it, no, they never deserve it. Kouji demands it, he wants to steal it all for himself and leave people like you alone. Alone and suffering. But you never think about that sort of thing." I made no reply, refusing to acknowledge him at all. At least, refusing to let him see that his words were... being heard. He knew. "Never the less, on occasion, while you watch him, you wonder what it would be like to be him, don't you. Do you envy him for what he has stolen from you? Do you hate him for shunning you? Are you pleased to know that in this world he will be forced to know your torment?"

"Stop it!" My yell echoed through the room, my eyes squeezed shut, my hands clenched into fists. "Just stop it. Why are you doing this?"

"It is not my intent to cause you pain," Nabikasumon said, his voice monotone. Two of his tails twisted around my arms as he slid over the back of the chair, contorting his body so his head was level with mine, his gaze pouring into my mind. "But you have been deluding yourself for too long, denying that witch tortures you and using a cotton ball to stop a hemorrhage. If you want the pain to cease, then you must destroy the light which causes it. You must destroy Kouji, or he _will _destroy you. One way or another, you will confront him in this world. Son of Darkness, you can't escape your fate" I looked at him, my lips parted just slightly, my breath uneven. Could he have been right? Was there really no way to avoid this conflict with my brother? I'd been trying and trying, but theses things kept following me, kept coming back. And these accusations, theses awful things about Kouji I kept hearing, were they true? How could they be true? He didn't know I existed, how could he possibly want to take everything from me. We had just been babies when our parents had separated, that couldn't have been his doing. And yet... the more I heard it, the more I believed Kouji was responsible for my agony.

"Why," I asked meekly, my anguish reflecting in Nabikasumon's eyes. I could see myself, see the fire in my eyes flicker and fade, see them beginning to take on a non-reflective, red hue. He didn't answer me right away, his silence a pressure all around me. Carefully, he began to uncoil himself, retracting his tails, untwisting his body. I stared forward blankly, my thoughts sluggish as disorganized. Nabikasumon rose before me, his body twisted about the post, freeing his tails to wave magically behind him, as if caught is some sort of storm. His head was tucked, his eyes staring at me intently.

"He does what he does because he is the light," he stated softly, coldly. "It's in his nature to be cruel and selfish. He hates you on principle, so you should hate him."

"Hate Kouji?" Nabikasumon nodded sternly. "And destroy him." He nodded again. I looked at him, then away, towards the lever on the wall, my escape. If only one of us could survive this, then shouldn't it have been me? Didn't I deserve to go back to our world more than Kouji? Didn't I have a mother to care for and responsibilities to attend to, whereas he had only a child's life? The thoughts flowed smoothly, simply, naturally. There was no pain in them, no indecision, only numbness. Even so, there was something wrong about them, something inhuman. I jerked, my eyes meeting his subversively, fire burning brightly within them once more, their navy color undeniable. "No," I said flatly. "No, I won't. I won't fight my own brother." If the only way to stop the pain was to stop being human, then I'd be in pain. I remembered how I'd felt with the Goblimon before they'd brought me here, how I'd wanted to hurt them- end them. I would not allow myself to become that over something so selfish, I couldn't let myself forget why I was here. "You're wrong. If I want to stop the pain I shouldn't hurt Kouji, I should talk to him."

"You're a fool," Nabikasumon spat, his eyes narrowing in anger. "The only thing light can do is harm, but you're too blind to see that. Blinded by illusions and prejudice." The metal of the pillar was creaking under the pressure as he tightened around it, his amethyst eyes taking on a garnet tint. Then, all of a sudden, they cleared up and he relaxed, almost smiling. "You are confused," he cooed as if to a skittish dog. "You're afraid of the darkness, you think it evil, how misguided. Poor boy, let me show you." The restraint on my wrists snapped off suddenly, freeing me. There were red marks where they had bitten into the skin and my hand was a bloody mess in the most literal sense, but I was free. I was so stunned I couldn't move beyond the careful flexing of my fingers. "As far as you've been told, darkness is nothing beyond pure evil, but this simply isn't true." One of his tails grabbed my bandaged hand, removing Zoe's handkerchief softly. I winced as the bleeding started again,trying to yank it away.

"What are you doing? Let go," I demanded.

"Be still. Let me show you the true face of darkness." He inspected my hand, stretching his mouth open as wide as it would go, unsheathing two long, thin, ivory fangs. Something not quite liquid dripped from them, blacker than night and oddly gaseous. It evaporated before it fell more than a few centimeters, exploding into twisting mist like powdered snow slithering across a dry road as the cars drove over it. It was fascinating. "Ebony Taint." Before I could comprehend what was happening those fangs were in my palm, injecting the darkness into my flesh. I gasped, unable to move or understand. The fangs were imbedded in my hand, but I felt no pain. Just a chill, a cold chill seeping into my skin and climbing slowly through my veins, creeping up my arm. The world began to darken, all detail and color beginning to fade, replaced by a new image. The Spirit of Darkness wavered before me, calling, promising, insisting. All I wanted was to reach out and take it, claim it's power and its protection, take refuge and cease to fight. It would have me, one way or another, of that is was certain. And there are no words to describe how intensely I wanted it.

Then, as quickly as it had started, the fangs withdrew, the cold faded, the vision wavered. I blinked, panting and examining my wounds. They were gone, the cuts, the scabs, the bruises, vanished as if they had never existed. The fangs had left no mark, no soreness, nothing. The pain was gone, I was healed. Cautiously, I touched it with my other hand, my fingers tickling the sensitive flesh as they probed. I pulled it up to my face, scrutinizing where the cuts should have been. Nothing. Nabikasumon was smiling, pleased by his work and my reaction. "Do you understand now? Do you see what you are," he asked fondly. I didn't know what was happening, what was going on. The silence ticked on for what felt like an eternity, the world shrinking until it was just him and me. He watched me closely, as if he was expecting something. Something big.

"What do you want," I whispered, staring straight into his eyes, my voice barely audible.

"You."

* * *

I don't know how long I sat there, staring straight ahead. The food sat to my left, untouched and cold, despite the fact that I hadn't eaten since the Floramon's soup. Nabikasumon had left me alone in the room, not bothering to replace the restraints or tell me not to go anywhere. He watched me from a room at my back, but I could sense that he had no intention to act if I moved. His lack of concern should have made me feel nervous, but I couldn't muster the emotion. I couldn't feel anything, really. The room around me was there, but it didn't seem real, like the food, the lever in the wall, the people outside, the fact that I was actually being held against my will. All that existed were Nabikasumon's words, my dream, and my uninjured hand. Everything else had lost it's significance. What could be important about a stone hall way when my very nature was in question.

This entire situation was not to my liking; I never wanted to be involved in anything like this. But I was- no, more than that. I was not just involved, I was at the center, the cause and sustaining force. It was all about me, and I... didn't really know how I felt about that, and I hated that I didn't know. The only thing I had ever wanted was my mother's happiness, and that translated into a family, a less stressful life, and the disappearance of all financial worries. In short, everything Kouji had, something Nabikasumon had made all too clear. His life was my dream, that I couldn't deny. But the other things, that I wanted to take it all from Kouji, that I resented him, hated him. I didn't know what to make of them. Then there were the things Nabikasumon had said about Kouji, that he had purposefully stolen that dream and left me with nothing, that he wanted to shut me out completely, eradicate me, that if I didn't fight him he would fight me. That one way or another there would be war between us. I didn't want that, I didn't want to fight him.

When I'd started following him, it was out of curiosity, but it grew into something more and I had to add another thing to my list of wants: the desire for him to notice me. I wanted to meet him, I wanted to talk to him and more. I wanted to know him, which morphed into wanting him to know me. If Nabikasumon was correct, then Kouji and I didn't have this in common. That was no reason to hate him, no reason to destroy him, just as it wasn't proof that he was against me. The fact that Nabikasumon and Cherubimon-sama were trying to twist it into that confirmed that I couldn't trust anything they said. They said that the darkness wasn't evil, that it was power and I could use that power to attain my dreams. They'd told me that my suffering was Koji's fault, that if Kouji was gone, my pain would go with him, an idea that had been festering inside me for weeks. Perverse as it sounds, a part of me had been relieved to hear it from someone else. But they had motives other than my ultimate happiness, they wanted me. So I could bond with that Spirit, the Spirit of Darkness and become whatever it was they intended me to become. And then what? What would become of me once that happened? Would I still exist, or simply be his servant, the Spirit's host? Would I be in control of my actions, or a puppet for darkness?

I didn't understand, but I knew that I couldn't trust anything that came from them. That didn't mean their words didn't affect me. I was hurting, angry, vulnerable and the more I heard, the more I felt like doing whatever they asked of me. Cherubimon-samma and Nabikasumon had accused me of feelings I couldn't deny, yet they validated these feelings, replacing my pain with bliss, my anger with vengeance. If I acted on emotion alone, then the fight was lost. I couldn't trust my feelings. I was hearing voices, seeing things others weren't, so I couldn't trust my senses. The only thing left was my knowledge, logic, evaluation and conclusions based off of irrefutable fact. I had never introduced myself to Kouji, so he couldn't be guilty of willingly ignoring me. It hurt, but I knew that he didn't even realize he had a brother. And this thing inside of me, this darkness that made me such a good fit for the Spirit of Darkness, I had heard it, felt it. I knew what it wanted and what it was willing to do to get it. It would lie, manipulate, backstab, even kill without remorse. It was strong, powerful, and determined. Good wasn't the right word, but I couldn't prove that it was evil. All I knew was that it was dangerous; I couldn't loose to it, no matter how tired I was, no matter how tempting it was, I couldn't let it take over. My hands curled into defiant fists, my jaw setting as I lifted my head, determined. For the moment, my head was clear, but with Cherubimon and Nabikasumon pressuring me, it wouldn't last long. I had to leave.

"Nabikasumon! Nabikasumon, where are you?"

"I am busy, Snimon," he said dangerously, his low voice reverberating through the room. I chanced a look behind me, trying to see just how close he was. He was over by the wall, his head turned towards the opening to his left, his amethyst eyes garnet. "Can you not see that, or has your intelligence finally given up on you all together?"

"Nabikasumon, sir, I'm sorry, but this is urgent," cried the Snimon from somewhere behind me.

"More urgent than Lord Cherubimon's orders?"

"Actually, yes! The other humans, they're in the Kokuwamon barracks! They're planning to attack the factory!"

"And this would affect me in what way? I have what I came here for, I don't care what happens to you or your precious factory." He was referring to me. I looked away quickly, trying to fake my previous catatonic state.

"Well, I would think you would at least want to consider my plan. While they're attacking, it would be the perfect time to take their Spirits and rid Lord Cherubimon of those pesky humans! Get rid of them once and for all!" The other humans? Zoe, Takuya, J.P., and Tommy, they were in danger. I turned my head very slightly, listening to the Digimon intently.

"What are you planning? Is it possible that you have actually thought something through?"Nabikasumon sounded approving if not slightly skeptical.

"Yes, of course. What do you take me for?"

"A halfwit." Snimon snorted angrily, but chose not to retort.

"If we storm the barracks in the middle of the night while they're asleep, they won't even have a chance to evolve! It'll be easy!"

"When will our men sleep? You_ haven't_ thought this through, as usual. Take all the Goblimon off duty now. Assign half of them to the front gates incase the humans decide to strike first. The rest should prepare for the assault. We'll attack several hours after sunset and destroy anything that gets in our way until we have the Spirits."

"But the Kokuwamon!"

"You've managed to redeem yourself, slightly. Stop talking before you ruin that as well. We will discuss this further, come."

"What about the boy?" Nabikasumon turned his gaze to me critically. I twisted back, staring forward blankly, pretending I was too dazed to understand.

"It does not matter, he will return to me in the end. It is unavoidable." There was a scuttling sound, like large insect legs moving across hard, smooth ground, and then silence. They were gone, at least, I thought they were, planning the destruction of the others. A giddy feeling began to build in my chest as the implications of the situation began to hit me. I felt crazed, twitchy, and the distinct desire to laugh maniacally. True, I was free, but for how long? He was right, I could sense it. I could hold off the storm of emotions, but not forever. When would I come back, begging for the Spirit and the numbness? How long would it be before I was the one sent to find these Spirits, sent to take them? And then there were the other humans to worry about. What would happen to Zoe and the others without those Spirits? How would they survive in this strange world without them? Who would look after them, protect them when they could no longer protect each other? I started to feel panicked, like something was closing in around me. Maybe Nabikasumon was right, maybe I couldn't be saved, but they could. I had to warn them, help them. They were in the Kokuwamon barracks, so that was where I had to go.

Gingerly, I stood up, feeling my way around the platform. There had to be some way down that didn't involve falling. Maybe a Digimon could land it, but I'd break something. On the back of the post behind the chair there was something. I knelt down, peering over the edge at the oddly dispersed poles that were poking out of the metal like some kind of improvised stairwell. Unusual, but effective. Carefully as was possible, I turned myself around, reaching for the first pole with my foot and gripping the edge of the platform. This was unlikely to turn out well, but the only other option was to jump. Reach down, grip pole, reach down, grip pole, don't fall, don't fall, don't fall. It was rather frustrating to know that, while I was taking my sweet time getting down the others were in danger. I glanced down, maybe two more meters to go. Gritting my teeth, I tried to quicken my pace, refusing to test each pole before I trusted my weight to it. Not smart, especially considering my history in this world. Two steps down the pole snapped and I fell on my butt. My impact might have been quieter than a bomb, it's debatable. I really needed to stop doing that.

"Hey," yelled someone at the door behind me. I turned sharply, coming face to face with a staggered Goblimon. "What are you doing?" I scrambled to my feet, staring at him in horror. "Get back here," he shouted, waving his club threateningly. I ran for it, ramming into the wall next to the lever and fumbling with it. The Goblimon was lumbering up behind me, not very quickly but gaining ground nonetheless as the passage entrance slid open. "Nabikasumon wants you! Stop running!" I dashed into it, the desire not to be hit with a club combining with a blooming fear of being taken back to that snake and my previous anxieties about the other humans getting the life beaten out of them, pushing me into hysteria. I started to run as fast as I could, bouncing off the stone walls and dodging the candles. And I didn't stop running until I reached the other end. I burst out into the cell like area, yanking on the lever to close the door behind me, my breath heaving and my legs shaking. Safe, for the moment. My knees buckled and I slid down to the floor, leaning my head against the cool wall, slowing my breath and trying to focus. Now was not the time to have a breakdown, not when the others, Zoe and J.P., Takuya and Tommy, not when they needed me. If I didn't go now, they'd be blindsided. The Goblimon would have no problem overwhelming them and, without their Spirits, they'd be trapped here. That couldn't be allowed to happen.

Pursing my lips and forcing myself to focus, I pushed myself to my feet, wobbling only slightly as I braced myself against the wall. I took several deep breaths, slowing my thoughts so that they had time to form completely. The Goblimon were all off duty and the Kokuwamon were in their barracks for the night (as far as I knew, I really had no clue what time of day it was), so the halls were clear. However, that also meant the front door was out of the question. I ran my fingers through my hair thoughtfully as I moved towards the bars, sliding easily through them and starting down the hall. The Kokuwamon couldn't be allowed to use the main entrance, that would be tacky, so there had to be a sort of servant's door. It would be somewhere hidden, or somewhere tourists wouldn't go. I walked back into the lighted halls, wincing and shielding my eyes. Absently, I glanced into one of the glass enclosed rooms, looking around. There was the conveyer belt, the parts bucket, chairs and the like, everything you would expect. Nonetheless, there was something peculiar about the room, something that frustrated me to no end. There was no way in. I scanned the room again, looking for anything that could explain how the workers got to their posts. Something caught my eye, a door just big enough for a Goblimon in the back corner, made of the same industrial material as the walls and painted to match. It blended in perfectly, barely noticeable and probably only obvious if you were looking for it or already knew it was there. Clever. Maybe...

I reached out and pressed on the glass, trying to figure out a way past it. That door had to lead outside, and from there I could find the barracks and the others. Nothing, no weaknesses, no hidden panels, nothing. I had to get passed this glass. The darkness surged within me, offering me its strength and its resolve. I needed that. Perhaps I could use it, as long as I didn't allow it to control me. It worked off the same ideas as Cherubimon-sama, that Kouji didn't want anything to do with me, that I should hurt him and obtain revenge. I didn't want revenge, I wanted to meet my brother. As long as that was a reality, as long as I had hope that we could still become a family, I could resist this darkness. I could fight it. The darkness fell over me, but it didn't concur me like it had before. My eyes didn't darken, my emotions didn't fade. I was still me, I could still warn them. This must be what it felt like when they turned into Digimon, the power surging through you, traversing instead of drowning in it. For better or worse, I was still Kimura Kouichi. A part of me cried out, expressing the intense desire to fade into the darkness, but I knew better. If I let go now, I would be washed back to Nabikasumon and the others would be doomed. It was a fine line, but I had no choice but to walk it.

Face set in resolve, I turned back into the dark hall, grabbing one of the boxed on the right. I marched back to the window, dragging the box behind me like a reluctant dog, then, gripping the edges firmly, I swung it through the window. The glass shattered, spraying the conveyer belt and floor. I pulled up my arms o shield my face, but surprisingly enough nothing hit me, at least, nothing I noticed. Blunt, but effective. I crawled through the hole, avoiding the jagged edges and stepping cautiously across the shards as I made my way to the door. This entire facility had to be designed so that the Goblimon could operate it. Their hands were too big and cumbersome for a key any smaller than a grapefruit. The door was unlocked, a little small, but not impossible. It led into another stone passageway, lit by torches just like the other one. This one actually branched off, straight tunnels leading to other rooms in the factory. But each one was clearly marked, so it was easy to navigate. It felt, disconcerting, being alone.

These tunnels were for the Goblimon and Kokuwamon only, no one suspected we knew about them so they were unguarded; nevertheless, I couldn't shake the feeling someone was watching me, hunting me. I glanced around nervously, taking the the absolute emptiness, the gleeful shadows. I could feel Cherubimon-sama's yellow eyes in those shadows, his hands just waiting for me to slip, to falter and loose my foothold. And there was still the darkness of the building itself. I was all right in the bright hall, but here my will was weaker. I had to get out of here. I broke into a run again, paranoia eating away at me every step of the way. There were no turns, at least, not any drastic ones. A large door at the end of the hall, this one larger and coarser. Actually it looked more like a boulder than a door. I rammed into the stone, shoving passed it in a frenzy. I burst out of a cliff face, the blazing sun hitting me hard, causing me to gasp in relief. Safe, for the moment. I skidded to a halt, glanced around, the took off towards a collection of brick shacks to my left.

"All right, I'll go over it one more time." Takuya's voice, from somewhere to my right.

"Why bother, it's a suicide run."

"No one asked you J.P.!"

"Don't be so pessimistic, we are Legendary Warriors, after all."

"Yeah, we can do anything!"

"Maybe you are, but I'm not."

"Well, you're staying here anyway, so it doesn't matter!" They were inside a large, central building. The bricks were crumbling, the windows empty, and the ceiling was flimsy at best. Some headquarters.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we still aren't sure what we're supposed to do."

"Sorry."

"Right! Lets get started! Zoe, you're going to attack the front gate, distract as many Goblimon as you can and clear a path for us."

"Got it!"

"Then we'll sneak into the factory and destroy the assembly line. Without a place to work the you guys loose your value and you'll be free!"

"So what exactly are _we_ supposed to do? Where do we fit into this plan?"

"Most of you will stay here, where it's safe. Volunteers will come with us, help Zoe or take care of the Goblimon inside the Factory. We'll need you to hold them off while Tommy and I take out the Goblimon leader."

"Oh! We understand!"

"Good! We strike at nightfall." Nightfall? Just in time to leave the rest of the Kokuwamon, the old and children, open for extermination. Under other circumstances the plan would have been sound, but they were ready.

"I can't believe it! It's going to work!" They sounded so hopeful, so optimistic. I couldn't let them go on like that. With their attitude they were guaranteed to get themselves killed. This had to stop. "Takuya, it's really going to work!"

"No, it won't," I said quietly, stepping into the light and leaning against the doorframe. They all started, staring at me like I was a Vulcan beamed down and inquiring about Captain Kirk. "They know you're coming. You won't stand a chance."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Know that this was originally twice over twice as long, but when it crept over twenty pages and I still had much material I wanted to put in, I decided that, out of compassion for your eyes, I should split it up. So that means that this one's a bit dinkey and the next should come sooner than usual! Ya! PS. Anyone who says fist semester junior year is the hardest in the IB program is lying, it's just that all hope of a life is extinguished after that point. They kill your soul and then hit you with so many projects and essays that it's practically a brainy boot camp. Just FYI. Oh! And colleges don't actually care that much how you have suffered in high school. OK, done venting and making excuses. Enjoy the chapter or suffer the wrath of tutu clad, squeaky voiced, constipated, mildly over indulgent Otto von Bismarck.**

**Disclaimer: Yes, I am that nerdy, but I'm not gonna pretend I'm making anything off of this other than the joyful sensation of entertaining wonderful readers for free. And CAS hours... sort of, but those don't count. Hence, I own nothing.**

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"Where the heck did you come from?" yelled Takuya, jumping back and grabbing onto the edges of the makeshift table. Tommy was cowering next to him, his eyes the size of dinner plates.

"Kouichi, where have you been?" Zoe stepped around the traumatized boys to confront me, her voice a smooth mixture of concern, relief, and frustration which betrayed none of the utter shock in her eyes. She barely knew me, so the intensity of her worry was beyond my comprehension, but her intentions were clear. I didn't look at her, unable to see past the present crisis.

"Oh man! Do you even _know_ how to make a normal entrance," demanded J.P., clutching his heart and leaning against the wall in the corner. I caught his priceless expression out of the corner of my eye. He appeared rather surprised. They all looked like I'd fallen out of the sky again, actually, and in retrospect, I can't say I really blame them. I suppose I have a habit of making dramatic entrances. However, none of that was important at the moment, the observations were hardly conscious. They had more important things to concern themselves with, things I was more than willing to point out.

"Your plan won't work," I repeated bluntly and insensitively. Such was not my habit, but then again, I usually wasn't in any position to be so forward. I tended to be the one on the receiving end of the important, life-changing information. "The Goblimon are already gathering by the front gate, dozens of them. You'll never get through."

"Huh? What are you talking about? What would you know?" I met Takuya's proud gaze, my eyes hard and dark. This plan was his baby but it was going to create more problems than it solved. Someone had to do something. The darkness rested within me, the power to force these people to listen to me, to save them, waiting like a cat flicking its tail impatiently. All I had to do was reach out and take it.

"More than you think," I whispered, willing him to listen and understand. "I know that one Digimon won't be enough; she'll be completely overrun. I know that the Goblimon are expecting you to use the main door and if they leave as much as a meter of it open for you to get through, they'll be killed by their leaders. I know that they want your Spirits and their plan is to take them and destroy anything that gets in their way. That would include you."

"Why don't we all attack the front gate," suggested Tommy timidly. "If we all work together, there's no way they can beat us!"

"Then you would have left the Kokuwamon vulnerable." The words were out before I had a chance to equip them with any tact. Things were getting out of hand.

"What do you mean?"

"Anyone not guarding the gate has orders to storm the village and turn this place to rubble looking for the Spirits." I looked away, embarrassed by my own boldness. "This," I said, gesturing to the carefully drawn battle plan on the table, "will just get you captured and put the Kokuwamon at risk."

"So what are you saying? That we should just give up? Run away and leave the Kokuwamon like this? Are you insane?" Takuya yelled, stepping towards me threateningly. I moved back, my fingers resting lightly on the wood, my gaze much darker than I was comfortable with. I couldn't let this get to me. I couldn't accept the safety the darkness offered... or the power.

"We can't do that," protested Tommy, glancing from him to me, his young eyes wide and idealistic.

"Takuya, calm down, be reasonable," chided Zoe, hesitating at my side. "I'm sure he didn't mean-"

"That's exactly what he's saying," shouted J.P., cutting her off. "We should never have come here in the to begin with! I knew this place was bad news but I ignored my gut and look where it got us!" He advanced out of his corner, fuming. Takuya turned on him, the strength of his own element surging within him.

"You want to run away, you coward!"

"Of course I do," J.P. screamed, his voice harsh and booming. I looked down, regretting that I had been so confrontational. It was just so difficult! Say things quietly and no one listens; be blunt and you start a fight. Accept the darkness and be ruled by it, or reject it and be run over by the world. "Don't you get it? You might be fine, but me, Kouichi, the Kokuwamon... we're sitting ducks! You have your Spirits, you can fight! The worst that could happen to you is you lose your Spirit! We could _die! _Do you understand that? Die!" Death didn't seem so bad to me at this point, but everyone else looked horrified.

"J.P.," whispered Zoe, moving towards him compassionately.

"No, Zoe, don't," he said gruffly, holding out his hand to stop her.

"It's not like you would be anywhere near the front lines."

"That's right, we'd protect you!" They had no clue just how demeaning it was to need protection; to watch as everyone else gets stronger and leaves. To wish you had the power to step out from under their wing and do it yourself. To want the power, even if it destroys you.... I grabbed my head discreetly, a tingling feeling scuttling up my left arm.

"Forget about it, we should all just get outta here!"

"We can't just leave the Kokuwamon!"

"I'm not suggesting we do! I'm just saying-"

"You're saying we should run away!"

"Run away and survive!"

"But J.P.-"

"If we run away now, the Kokuwamon will never be free! They'll never stop!"

"But they'll be alive!"

"Enough," I snapped, slamming my hand onto the table. Darkness was falling, the Goblimon were massing, and Nabikasumon was calling. I could sense it all around me. When they came, it wouldn't matter who wanted to run or who wanted to fight. Who would give themselves up and who wouldn't. They'd take what they wanted and leave the rest to burn. We were running out of time. A decision had to be made, now. This fighting had to stop. "Enough, stop it. Stop this; it's not getting us anywhere." Almost as if it had been staged, they all froze in whatever position they were in and stared at me.

"He's right, this is pointless," said J.P. as he turned away from Takuya.

"Couldn't agree more," spat Takuya in turn, glaring at his back.

"We need a new plan," I stated, not looking at any one. Insects were crawling across my left palm just beneath the skin. Nabikasumon knew I was gone by now, he would start expecting me back soon. He was confident enough in my fate, but all the same he wouldn't waste too much time waiting. It would be better if I went back to him on my own, yet not unacceptable to have the Goblimon drag me back. Either way, this situation had to be resolved first. As long as I was around, the others were in danger and if I left now, they were almost guaranteed destruction. My only option was to help them and run before I could cause any serious damage.

"Tuck our tails firmly between our legs and scamper away, I suppose," muttered Takuya sulkily. I shot him a glance that looked eerily like one of Kouji's.

"No."

"Can't even open your mouth without insulting someone."

"J.P. shut up!"

"You two quit. Honestly, can't you at least be civil?" Zoe chided sharply before turning to me. "What do you think we should do?"

"Traitor,"

"I agree with Zoe. He obviously knows more than us. I say we trust him."

"No one asked you!"

"Guys, stop fighting."

"Go ahead, Kouichi, what's your plan?'

"Well," I started uncomfortably. How I didn't want to be in this position.

"Did you _have _a plan to begin with?" asked Takuya, frustrated. He didn't think I could do it. He didn't think I was strong enough. That made some part of me very angry. I met his gaze fiercely and held it without blinking.

"I know a way in where there are no guards, a back door, so to speak. Leave two of the people with Spirits here to defend the Kokuwamon while the third comes with me to take out the leaders. The Goblimon may be strong but they're also stupid. Without guidance they won't know what to do. It's quiet and there's not a lot of glory, but it's safer and more likely to succeed. We'll start at sunset; give them as little time to react as possible."

"Sounds good to me," chimed Tommy, optimistically.

"Whatever," said Takuya, brushing past me as he left the building.

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk. I'll be fine, Zoe, I'm not going to do anything stupid."

"Yeah, I think I'll get some air too," said J.P., following him out. Tommy scuttled after them, glancing at me curiously. I didn't meet his gaze. Zoe shifted uncomfortably, glancing from me to the door almost apologetically.

"I'm worried about them," she whispered. "It seems as though all they can do is fight and poor Tommy, he's so scared to get between them and I don't want to be-"

"It's all right, Zoe," I said, letting my eyes fall closed. "Go after them, they need your strength right now." Another little talent of mine, sometimes I do know _exactly_ what to say. Mother always said I was empathic; I knew Zoe needed to save someone now. She had to be supportive of she would fall. Trying to help me would simply eat her up inside, therefore she had to get out of the room before she tried.

"But Kouichi," she protested. She knew, but she wouldn't admit it. How do you say someone's your friend then proclaim them unstable in the same breath? I couldn't let her come any closer, or she wouldn't turn back. Mist swirled within me, my left hand flexed. Something was coming; she could not be around me when it arrived.

"I'm fine, it's nothing," I muttered, refusing to look at her. "Go. All of you go get ready." Obediently, the Kokuwamon cleared out and, after some hesitation, Zoe followed them. They did as I asked. It was satisfying. Neemon began to walk away, but Bokomon grabbed him, his shining black eyes staring at me intently. There was a suspended silence, like time was afraid to let the future come. As if even such forces could stop it. "Bokomon-san."

"Kouichi-kun."

"I trust you're keeping your promise?" There was no longer any need to beat around the bush with him on this subject.

"Kouji still has no idea you exist as far as I know. Zoe's tried to talk about you a few times, but I've managed to change the subject before things get interesting so far." He folded his arms, displeased by the secrecy.

"Good." A headache was starting to brush my temples and I leaned heavily on the table, grabbing my head with one hand. Why was this so difficult?

"Now, tell me what in the Digital World is going on!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked tiredly. Same old song and dance. Attack, evade. Question, deny. It was getting old quickly, yet this was still too sensitive to be open with.

"He may not have a brain," Bokomon pointed to Neemon. "But I do. When J.P. came back and you didn't, I knew something was going on. Then you come staggering in here with expert knowledge on how the evil masterminds of this factory work and that hand of yours. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."

"What about my hand?" I snapped defensively, sending him a sharp look.

"Everyone else may have been distracted by your black eyes, but I'm a little more observant. I have to be. I'm going to record the tale of the Legendary Warriors. You were bleeding this morning and Zoe used her handkerchief to bandage you up. Now it's gone and there's not a mark on you. Either you magically healed faster than the other humans, or a Digimon helped out."

"Well, aren't you the smart one," I hissed. How was I supposed to keep these people safe from myself when they insisted on questioning every little detail? I wanted to get angry, I wanted to snap and surrender to the darkness inside of me. But then what would happen? I couldn't control this new power; I didn't even know where it came from. "What do you want?"

"I want you to tell me what is going on! I want you to tell Zoe and Takuya and the others! I _want_ you to let us help!"

"Why," I asked, defeated. "What could you possibly do?" How could they stand against the dark tide? How could they hope to save me? Did I even want to be saved? I wasn't sure any more.

"How would he know? You won't tell him what's the matter."

"Exactly!"

"I'll tell you, but I'm going to have to add onto you promise."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that if I 'enlighten' you, you have to swear not to tell anyone else about what's happening to me. No one can know, do you understand?" My stomach churned and I leaned over to try and calm it. Stay calm, stay calm.

"Yes, I believe I do. You're worried about them, aren't you?" I gave him a startled look, recoiling.

"Who?"

"This is not the time for your frivolous comments!" Bokomon snapped Neemon's waist band impatiently. "Can't you see that the poor boy is-"

"You have no idea what I am," I breathed. "I don't even know what I am anymore."

"What, exactly, do you mean by that?"

"The Digimon in charge here, Nabikasumon and Snimon, had me. They told me things... things about my fate." My head was throbbing, I was saying too much. "Bad things. Things about Kouji. I-" Something was in my throat, a lump, as if someone didn't want me to say anymore. I choked on my own words.

"What's wrong? My dear boy, what's the matter? It's all right, you can trust us. After all, we're not your enemy." The words were meant to be soothing, but they had the opposite effect. Rage swelled inside of me, cold, sharp, and unexplainable. I snapped.

"Everyone is my enemy! The light is my enemy. I must destroy it!" A cold ache shot up my left arm, like ice shooting through my veins from my fingertips through my forearm. I gasped, more from alarm than pain, and fell to my knees clutching my elbow. Then it was gone, like a cloud passing briefly over the sun, and I was left panting.

"Kouichi!" Bokomon rushed to my side, tailed closely by Neemon.

"I'm sorry." My words slurred… my vision was blurry. These episodes were getting more difficult to handle, harder to come back from.

"Passing out and hearing voices are one thing, but this is getting too weird. You need to tell me what you did."

"There's something happening to me," I said, more to myself than to anyone else. The darkness was getting stronger with each passing thought, reality fading a little more each time it asserted itself. It needed me, needed my dark heart at its center, so how much longer would I last? "I should leave, I'm not safe."

"Not safe? What do you mean? You're just having muscle spasms and hearing things, near as I can tell. I'd hardly call that unsafe. A little weird, but not unsafe," stated J.P. matter-of-factly from the door. He seemed to have the innate skill of showing up at exactly the wrong moment. How frustrating.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped, my voice a little sharper than I had intended.

"I had a hunch you might want to run off without the rest of us and, from the sound of things, I was right." He walked over and squatted in front of me, grinning and holding out his hand. "Though not for the reasons Takuya would accuse you of. So, why would you think you're not safe?"

"It's nothing," I muttered, looking away from him pointedly. Given my history, I figured it would be more dignified to remain on the ground.

"Come on, I'm not as dumb as I look." I didn't react. He sighed, switching strategies. "You know, you really freaked out Zoe earlier when your eyes changed. You kinda freaked me out too, actually." I gasped, biting my lip. "Wanna tell me what's up?"

"J.P.-san, there are things in this world that are safer not to understand. Trust me, don't ask."

"And you're one of them, huh?"

"Yes."

"Forgive me if I'm not satisfied with that answer."

"You have to be, J.P.-san, I don't want to hurt anyone."

"What are you talking about? I never said you did." He wasn't getting the point again, stubborn as ever. Dark strength was swirling inside of me again, offering me its power seductively. J.P. could not be allowed to discover what was going on. He would tell the others, they would tell Kouji. They were all human, weak and compassionate with delusions of grandeur, pitiful and afraid of what wasn't like them.

"J.P., perhaps you should leave Kouichi alone. He is not feeling very well. He needs some space."

"Kouichi, what are you hiding? Let me help." Help? No one could help me. If I told him, he would try to stop me, protect the light that was causing me so much pain. He'd hold me back from my full potential. That could not be allowed to happen. I closed my eyes, reaching for the strength of the darkness.

"I don't need any _help_," I hissed dangerously. It was coming, the power I so desired was answering my call.

"What?"

"Am I interrupting something?" Takuya was at the door, I could hear the curious concern in his voice. I felt the destructive force that had wanted to take on the Goblimon swell within me. It wanted to hurt Takuya for barging in. I wanted to destroy the inferior creature that had intruded.

'_No, I mustn't. This isn't right. This isn't me.' _I gasped, shoving the power away and opening my still blue eyes. "No, I just tripped. J.P.-san was helping me up," I said before anyone else could even blink, pushing myself up. "What is it?"

"The sun's going down, we should probably get going." He looked inquisitively between us, then, as though remembering what had occurred earlier, he added mockingly, "Oh Great Plan Maker." I gave him a tired half look. He could hate me all he wanted as far as I was concerned, so long as he was alive.

"Yes, you're right," I said without a trace of emotion, looking out the window. "Are you the one coming with me?"

"Uh, yeah." His tone was biting, bitter. I just nodded, walking smoothly to the doorway. I gave Bokomon one look between warning and pleading, then headed out with Takuya right on my tail. I was running out of time now, each second bringing me closer to the ultimate destiny I was beginning to comprehend. For better or worse, I was going to darkness. These feelings that kept rising within me, they were violent, vengeful, evil. They weren't mine, they weren't Kouichi. Kouichi was fading. There were times my own humanity seemed nothing more than an illusion. The times when I had those impulses. I could feel that power inside of me, and I knew it was wrong, but it was comforting... and frightening. It could control me when it so desired, that much had been made clear. And at the same time, people were listening to me now, obeying. Their minds would bend to my will and there was no lie I could tell that they wouldn't believe. There was more, too, abilities I had yet to tap. I was crazy not to be absolutely terrified by the things I could do, that I wanted to do. This was getting out of control. Yet try as I might, all I could muster was a faint worry. That was disconcerting.

"Takuya-san," I said suddenly, stopping. "Could we wait for a little bit?"

"Why?" His voice had an annoyed edge, but I didn't really care.

"I'm just feeling a little tired." A scoff. I ignored it, glancing at the setting sun. Darkness wad coming, I needed a minute to collect myself before I went back into its heart. As I was, all Nabikasumon would have to do was suggest something and I'd be powerless against the apathy and euphoria. For the first time I was important, needed not for someone else's sake, but because I was special. Even though I knew how stupid it was, I couldn't help but like that feeling; I wanted to hold onto it. If I faced him now, I would betray Takuya and the others without a second thought. I could feel it. He didn't deserve that, none of them had done anything that would warrant that. "Is there some place where I could be alone for five minutes?" No reply. He had to understand, even if everything else remained in shadow, Takuya had to understand this. I shot him an exhausted glance to prove my point, my dark blue eyes meeting his avid brown ones, darkness twisting with fire for the briefest moment. He looked so skeptical, like I was spouting nonsense. "To wake myself up. It's been a long day." I needed to get a handle on my own emotions, center myself. Takuya stared at me disbelievingly, and then he sighed, yielding.

"I gotcha. There's some water in that hut over there." He motioned to a rundown building on our right where a few Kokuwamon were chatting amiably. They glanced over at us when Takuya gestured, blinking. "You can wash up if you want. Then we're leaving." I nodded gratefully, following his direction without a sound. The darkness was coming, building up inside of me, waiting to be released. I couldn't keep playing with it, stop it, accept it, or reject it, but if I forgot myself now, nothing else would matter. I couldn't warn anyone because they'd either not believe me like J.P. or try to help me like Zoe. Either was pointless. My best option was to prepare for what I knew was coming and hold as much of it as was possible within myself. The choice was almost here and the only certainty was that this thing would destroy me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: I was totally thinking about splitting this one up further and making it into two more separate chapters, but it wasn't quite long enough. I could, but they'd be two more short, dinky chapters and I was like, "Dude! Why bother?"Besides, I've read through this three times myself and feel it flows nicely and goes pretty quickly. I personally like it, but as a warning, there is a lot of stuff here. My advice is to find a comfortable spot where you won't get too cold or too hot if the sun should come up or down while you are reading, and enjoy the latest installment of **_**Fate**_**.**

**P.S. I'm thinking about ending **_**Fate **_**within the next chapter and writing a sequel. Any thoughts on that would be greatly appreciated. I think it's a good idea, but I've never tried it before.**

**Disclaimer: There may come a day when the world of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day. A day when I own something. But it is not this day! This day I publish for no profit! For all that you hold dear, I bid you stand, stand and fight! Ok, I'm done.

* * *

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When I had asked for a place to wash up, I had been envisioning something rather private, like a bathroom. Nothing fancy, just a small, isolated room with a bowl of water and maybe a cloth and mirror. Something normal looking would have been great. Well, normal doesn't happen in the Digital World, and when it does it's abnormal, like finding fifty vending machines randomly placed in a valley for no adequately explored reason. So you might imagine that the Kokuwamon's 'bathroom', although better than nothing, was not all I had hoped for. The Kokuwamon were very polite and stood outside the hut while I was in there, but that did not change the fact that their washroom consisted of a silver colored metal bucket with rust along the bottom and rim on a table that better qualified as a stool in a back corner next to a glassless window. There was a small ladle next to the bucket, which probably meant that this water was more for drinking than bathing, though I really did need a bath. I'd need to be conservative with it.

Letting out a small sigh, I grabbed the ladle, dipped it into the water, and took a long draft of the metallic liquid. Smiling gratefully I dipped it back in and took another drink, then refilled the ladle a third time, intent on at least attempting to clean myself up. I paused for a minute, wondering how exactly I was supposed to use the water from the ladle to wash my face. I couldn't just pour it on my head as that was liable to get my hair and shoulders soaking while completely missing the target area. And there was no good angle I could think of that would allow me to dump the water on my face that wouldn't do pretty much the same thing without contorting my body into strange and unnatural positions.

Finally, after checking to make sure no one was watching, I set the ladle down and, cupping my hands at the edge of the table, I used my elbow to knock it over. As the water ran out of the little cup, I caught it in my cupped hands and splashed it onto my face. The water wasn't cold, but it still held enough chill to send goosebumps across my skin in a refreshing sort of way. When I got home, the first thing I was going to do was take a long shower and then soak in the bath until I shriveled up into a little prune. There is nothing better than a hot bath after a long day to wash away the stress and pain. I realize I'm a little young to be talking about stress, but at the risk of sounding immodest, I would like to point out that my life has a few more variables than that of other boys my age. My mother's health, for instance, not to mention our less than comfortable financial situation. Mother tries to keep it a secret from me, but I'm not blind. I see her expression at the store and when she looks at the bills. I learned long ago not to ask for unnecessary things. It's not that Mom's paranoid about money, we simply can't afford non-necessities. And it's rude to talk about it.

I let my hands linger on my face for a moment as the water slipped through my fingers and dripped off my chin, pressing them over my eyes. I frowned. How was my mom doing? Was she alright? Was she terribly worried? She probably was. I shouldn't have followed Kouji; I should have just gone home. Mom needed me there, especially after Grandma died. I could only imagine what she must have been going through with me missing, how worried she must have been. I couldn't stay here; I couldn't remain in the Digital World. Somehow, I had to get back to Japan, back home, before things got too crazy. I couldn't put Mom through anymore pain and fear; if anyone deserved a normal, anxiety free life it was her. But that brought me back to my dark predicament.

I let my hands slide up my face so I could cradle my brow in my palms. The only way to get home was to get a Spirit and the only Spirit I knew of was evil. And even if I got the Spirit, what then? Once I had the Spirit of Darkness, would I still be able to leave? Would it let me go? Would Cherubimon-sama let me go? Unlikely. My best chance was to try and piggy-back on someone else's Spirit and hope it would take more than one person back to Shibuya. Or maybe there was another Spirit out there I could find and use. One that wasn't evil. Neither possibility seemed likely, but they both gave me hope. And right now, the one thing I really needed was hope.

Breathing deeply, I pulled my hands away and shook the excess water off of them then, finding the area towel-less, I wiped them on my pants. No use worrying about any of that. I had more important things to do at the moment like helping Takuya save the Kokuwamon. And who knows, maybe if I found Kouji before the Spirit found me, this could all be changed. Though I must admit, the idea that finding Kouji would solve all my problems was beginning to sound more and more farfetched. It had always seemed that if I just found him, everything would be better. That, if we were only a family again, we could all be happy. Now that I was here, it was becoming apparent that I was the only one with such delusions, the only one trying to make life better for everyone, which was making me miserable. Why shouldn't I focus on myself, on my own happiness? Had I not earned a little bit of contentment? Perhaps it was only fair that the rest of the world suffer the way I'd suffered. For once maybe I should be selfish.

I shook my head to rid it of these thoughts, picking up the metal bucket to try and get some kind of outline as to my appearance. The reflection was foggy and stretched, but I got the general idea. I looked like death. My skin was much paler than it had been when I'd first come to this world, almost sickly looking. My eyes had taken on a permanently darker hue, their original bright navy tainted by a dulled black tint. They were rimmed by dark circles that were beginning to take on a bruise-like discoloration. It was as if my body was reflection the struggle that was going on inside of me, growing physically darker with my thoughts. No wonder everyone acted like someone was deathly ill every time I walked into a room.

Allowing myself a small, mirthless smile, I set the bucket back down and reached up with my left hand to brush my wet bangs out of my eyes. The dark hair was sticking to my forehead in a rather uncomfortable fashion, almost itching. I ran my fingers through it once, but before I could adequately fluff the damp hair away from my skin, something caught my eye. It was a small blemish that would have gone unnoticed if I hadn't been staring right at it. There, on my hand like a smudge of dirt, was a black, spidery something. I froze, pulling the hand away from my face and staring at it incredulously. A thin, dark, vein-like marking marred the pale flesh of my palm, branching from where my cut had been and twisting down to my wrist. Tentatively, almost fearfully, I traced it across my skin then, rolling up my sleeve, I followed it as it ran up my forearm to my elbow. Smaller, tinnier marks spindled out from the central thread, wrapping all the way about my arm. Frowning in nervous confusion, I turned my hand over to see how it had spread, flexing my fingers. I didn't feel any different, but the markings were definitely one of the least normal things I had seen in the Digital World. No doubt a sign of some kind of disease…a disease that was inside of me. Something was happening to me, changing me. That scared me, a lot. I was afraid of what I was becoming and I couldn't go back.

"Hey," came Takuya's impatient call. I jumped, pulling my sleeve down as he entered, looking annoyed. "We don't have all day, get a move on!"

"Right," I said meekly, tugging at the cloth to make sure the black marks were completely covered. "Of course." He watched me intently as I came to the door, like he could tell I was hiding something. I kept my expression as blank as I could, refusing to make eye contact. The less he knew of my deterioration, the better for all of us. This was a private affair between me, Cherubimon-sama, and Kouji; there was no reason not to let it remain so. Now, more than ever, I had to be strong, strong for myself... strong for my secret. I nodded discretely towards the edge of the encampment where I had come from and started in that direction, Takuya following quickly at my heels. I was more than content to go the entire way without ever saying a word, but Takuya's one of those people who just doesn't like silence. He had a powerful, confident stride, probably a football player, and had no difficulty keeping up with me. I couldn't run away from him, or keep him too out of breath to talk. Never the less, as avoidance is one of my strong points, I gave it my best shot. Perhaps if I looked intent enough he would catch the hint.

"So... how do you know about this anyway?" Nope.

"It's how I got out," I said shortly. I really didn't want to go into this, least of all with Takuya.

"You couldn't just use the front gate like a normal person?" I paused for half a second.

"No."

"You don't talk much, do you?" The tiniest of grins curled my lips at the comment. I had heard it before.

"Mom says I'm a better listener, and that's what she usually needs. My life's not that bad, but my mom.... She works really hard. She needs someone, so I guess that's just how it worked out."

"Your dad not the listening type?"

"He's gone." The words were out before I could sensor them and I blushed, tucking my chin to my chest. Takuya didn't speak for a moment, as if the information had stunned him. When he did speak, it was sympathetically, gently.

"I'm sorry. My granddad died a couple years ago; it's not fun." I let out a hollow, mirthless laugh, short and cold as ice.

"No. He didn't die, he left."

"He... left?" Believe it or not, the more believable story was that my father died. A husband leaving their wife is really not something that one traditionally expects, though it is getting more common. My father abandoned my mother to fight her own way through life as a solitary woman in Japan and society just accepts it.

"My parents divorced when I was very young," I explained, trying to end the conversation, before my bitterness could slip into my voice. Takuya was just so oblivious to my discomfort and hints.

"Do you still get to see him?"

"What?"

"Do you still get to see your dad?" He had no idea just how complicated that question was. As if my dad even _wanted _to see me. Yet the question remained.

"Sometimes." I got the distinct impression that Takuya was not one you could lie to and still remain on good terms with, so I didn't. Not technically at least.

"That's a little better; at least you still get to see him. I can't imagine what it would be like without my dad. I mean, he's kinda hard on me sometimes and he's strict, but still-"

"Takuya-san, may I ask you a question?" I interrupted, feeling a little less distant. Despite his hard-headed, overly-confident and rather aggressive manner, there was just something about Takuya's naivety and overall disposition that made me like him. I felt like he honestly wanted to get along with and understand me.

"What? Yeah, shoot."

"Are you this talkative with everyone you meet or is it just because I look like Minamoto-san?" It felt odd to use the formal suffix with my own brother's name, but anything else would have given me away.

"Trust me, if you were Kouji we'd probably be in a yelling match by now."

"You don't get along?" Now I was earnestly interested. I was always curious about Kouji.

"He's a jerk. But the truth is that we haven't talked much. He's kind of an introvert. You know, doesn't like people."

"Sounds like he's lonely." I stopped, staring at my feet, something odd aching in my chest, an emotion I couldn't identify.

"Yeah, I guess. Never really thought about it." He stopped just behind me to readjust his goggles. Something, I'm really not sure what exactly it was, about the introspectiveness in his tone made the humanity in me stir.

"Takuya-san," I said, turning around to face him. "I'm sorry for rewriting your plan. I didn't mean to challenge your authority in any way."

"I'm not really one to be formal with, especially since we're two of... six humans in this world. Takuya's fine," he said, waving it off. "As for my authority, it's really nonexistent. Don't worry about it."

"You seemed really upset."

"I tend to overreact a little. Seriously, it's no big deal."

"You seem to be the leader though," I insisted, cocking my head very slightly to the side and staring at him with bright, navy eyes.

"Not really. I do boss people around a bit; someone has to direct traffic, right? But the leader? I wouldn't mind it. I like being in charge, but the truth is that I just want everyone to get along. I really think if we stick together we'll all get back home."

"And the Kokuwamon?"

"They deserve a shot at life, don't they?" He met my timid gaze with the passionate fire I had come to expect. "Same goes for them, if we all work together, we're sure to win!" I smiled faintly.

"All right." My voice and eyes were soft, almost hopeful as I turned around and started walking again, gesturing to the hole in the cliff in front of us. "That's it, the factory's just through there."

"How'd you find this place?"

"Luck, I guess. I knew the Goblimon were guarding the front door and I figured the Kokuwamon needed some way to get into work without being seen. Snimon is really vain, so he'd prefer it like that."

"Snimon?" asked Takuya, passing me and entering the tunnel.

"One of the Digimon in charge here," I answered, hesitating. It was dark in the passage way. I didn't want to go in, not now, not while I was feeling more like myself than I had since I'd gotten here. I'd be vulnerable. To what, I wasn't quite sure, but I had this feeling: this terrible feeling that if I went in there with Takuya, I wouldn't come back out with him.

"One? You mean there's more?" Then again, I couldn't just abandon him now and leave. He wouldn't be able to find his way into the heart of the factory without a guide, and more than that, how was he supposed to know what was going on in there? All he'd seen was the white facade, he wouldn't know about the darkness underneath. He couldn't be expected to face this on his own. Strong as he seemed, I've always been able to see through other people's illusions. He needed me. They were all counting on me.

"He's the one you'll have to defeat. You shouldn't have to worry about the others." I stepped into the tunnel, pushing forward into the dank earth. He paused for a moment longer, then followed suit. We took a few steps and the light of the setting sun faded as the black of the tunnel invited us into its gut. I felt a twinge inside of me, like the wind had shifted.

"What's he like? I want to be prepared."

"He's like a... giant praying mantis." I paused, shuddering for a second. "You'll _want_ to be careful." My body had gone icy cold, a chill inside my head and up my left arm. I'm not quite sure where the smug superiority and condescending tone in my voice came from, but it was quite the turnaround from the way I had been talking not thirty seconds before. Takuya gave me a hard look, taken aback by my mood swing and suspicious. If it had been the first time he'd seen something odd happen involving me, he might have blown it off as a personality quirk. By now though, he'd probably joined in with the others and decided I was at best unstable.

"Ok, this is ridiculous," he suddenly exclaimed, grabbing my shoulder. His touch burnt like fire, causing me to flinch away. He didn't seem to notice. "What's your problem? Why do you know so much about this?"

"Don't you think this is a bad time to be having trust issues?" I asked, blinking in confusion at the way my words sounded. It was my voice, but it didn't sound like me.

"No, I think this is a great time to _bring up _trust issues. Zoe and J.P. may have known you from before, but I just met you today when you fell off a cliff. If you want me to blindly follow you, we need to clear some things up first." That hit the mark. I would have preferred to have avoided this all together, but Takuya wasn't giving me much of a choice. He just wouldn't let me hide. When I didn't say anything, he grabbed me again, forcing me a few more steps into the fickle light of the first light torch. Something inside me seized; I felt meek and unsure again as Takuya bore down on me.

"When I didn't come back from the bathroom," I started uncertainly, sending him a pleading glance. He released me, instead crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, his features set. "It was because I saw the Goblimon torturing the Kokuwamon. They took me captive." Takuya frowned, but made no other indication that I was done. I sighed, closing my eyes. "They brought me to Snimon. He wanted to know things... about you and the Spirits."

"You didn't sell us out, did you?" Takuya's hands twisted into fists, anger shining in his eyes. "Did they let you out? Are you leading us into a trap?"

"No! I said I didn't know anything, only how many of you there were. I didn't say anything about the Spirits." Takuya looked ready to hit me. I backed up until I hit the wall opposite him, glancing from side to side as if looking for an escape route. As if I expected him to attack me.

"And the other questions?" I gave him a long, timid look.

"He was threatening to kill me, Takuya-san. I can't defend myself against a Digimon, remember," I said softly.

"You know, I'm no expert, but that just makes it sound more like they _let_ you go. This is all way to convenient, there's something wrong here." Takuya was right, there was something wrong. It just had nothing to do with him or this factory. I could have been on the other side of the Digital World with a Tommy in a rain forest and it wouldn't have made a difference. I bit my lip, trying to find a way to explain myself discreetly.

"I understand. Really, I do." He snorted. "But you have to believe me. The Digimon caught me, questioned me, and then they left me. No bars, no restraints, just some Goblimon guards and a really high chair. They didn't think a mere human would be able to do much against Digimon. So when they weren't looking, I climbed down and slipped through the passage I'm showing you." Takuya stared at me, his eyes hot and cynical look. "Please, it's the truth. I'm not lying to you." About this, that is.

"Are they ready for us?" His voice was dripping with distrust. Can't say I blamed him, but it hurt nonetheless. Cold was beginning to crawl across my skin again as I reached inside myself for the strength to withstand this assault.

"No, I came up with this afterward; they don't even think you know about them."

"So, forgive me if I sound insensitive, but if you didn't tell them anything useful, and Snimon was going to kill you, why are you still alive?" Uh... because Cherubimon-sama, master of all evil, wants me for something special because I'm just such a fertile source of corrupt darkness. Don't think that would go over too well.

"Nabikasumon, the other Digimon who runs the factory, thought I could be... useful in some other way." I grabbed my left arm as my skin began to slither, praying that Takuya wouldn't look down at it and notice the black veins.

"Like what?" The one question I could not answer.

"I don't know."

"Is that why your hand is healed? Did Nabikasumon do it to win you over?" I looked at him sharply, my left hand clenching into a protective fist. His eyes said 'come on' in such a sarcastic tone that under normal circumstances I would have grinned. Cornered.

"Yes."

"Did it work?" I wasn't sure. He'd tried to show me darkness wasn't evil, that it could do good, could help people. He'd tried to prove to me that darkness soothed pain. If there was one thing I absolutely believed it was that darkness would take away my pain, yet these black veins really bothered me. It could numb me, but at what price?

"Depends on how you look at it," I answered cryptically. Takuya sighed heavily, clearly exasperated.

"If this guy's after you, why are you going back? We would have been fine without you."

"No, you wouldn't have," I whispered, looking at him apologetically. "If you'd seen what they can do, what they're willing to do, to get what they want, you'd know that."

"You could have just told us how to get in; you don't have to be here yourself." I wasn't sure if he was concerned about me or just being obnoxious.

"You need me to show you where everything is."

"There's more to it," he insisted. The darkness was reasserting itself within me. I wanted to end the conversation before he found out too much. Before he found out that I was going back for my sake as much as for his. I turned and started walking again. He reached out and grabbed my elbow, holding me in place. I had neither the strength nor the will to fight him. "You're not just here to help us. I've figured that much out."

"I wish I was. I wish I wasn't the way I am." I hung my head, my insides tense. "Believe me, I wish I could just help you and leave this world."

"You'll need a Spirit to leave." Takuya said uncertainly, still not releasing me.

"I know." My voice was thick with despair. How could it not be? I needed a Spirit to get home to my mother, my life, but the one that wanted me was the incarnation of darkness! Once I obtained the Spirit, Kouichi would cease to exist. I couldn't get away with it, couldn't get away without it. At least if I ran I wouldn't hurt anyone, yet even that thought was tainted. A part of me wanted to hurt people, a part of me wanted vengeance on the world that had caused my mother- caused _me,_ so much pain. I wanted to get away and fight this infection inside of me. But...

"I don't get you, you know that," Takuya snapped, his miniscule patience wearing thin. "What's up with you?" The words stung. I didn't quite know how to answer his question; how to put what I was feeling into terms he could understand.

"Do you remember how it felt when you first saw your Spirit? Before you joined with it," I asked, looking straight ahead, unblinking.

"Yeah," he said slowly, his hand dropping. "I felt it calling to me, pulling me. It was irresistible, but then again, I didn't really want to fight it. It's still a little weird, but I can feel Agunimon inside of me now, guiding me."

"In that moment, would it have hurt to have pulled away and refused the Spirit?"

"I don't know, probably," he mumbled. "Never really thought about that either."

"That's how it is for me," I said, glancing back at him with dark eyes. "All the time." For once, Takuya had nothing to say. "We should keep moving; the exit's just up here." We made our way towards the lighted room silently. I flinched when we went through the door, but Takuya was too busy staring at the shattered glass to notice.

"_You _did this?"

"I was a little panicked," I stated, climbing through the window.

"A little," he muttered, following suit. I shot him a tired glance, pursing my lips and heading back towards the cell where the Kokuwamon were. "Where are you going?"

"There's a secret passage in here," I shouted back at him. "It leads right to the center of the factory, where Snimon is."

"And there aren't any Goblimon?"

"They're all attacking the village right- Oh." There were two Goblimon who'd just come out of the passage inside the cell. They took one look at me, and slammed something on the wall. The bars rolled back and they came lumbering out, their clubs swinging. I reeled back, knocking the boxes against the wall into the hallway.

"It's the boy, the one Nabikasumon wants," said one, pointing at me stupidly. I scooted back, gasping.

"Whoa, Kouichi!" Takuya yelled, pulling out his D-Tector. "I thought you said this place would be empty!"

"I thought it was," I called back as I rolled away from the Goblimon's massive hands.

"Come here human!"

"Execute, Spirit Evolution!" I heard Takuya yell and looked over just in time to see the shimmering periwinkle bands surround his body. I'd seen this happen before; however, I'd been semiconscious at the time, so I really didn't have a clue what was going on. Best I could figure, he was using the Spirit and turning into a Digimon. "Agunimon!" The next thing I saw was the flame creature from the train station.

"Takuya? Is that still...?"I asked meekly.

"In the flesh! Well, sort of." His voice was different, but only slightly, and the inflection was the same. I nodded, stunned. "Now, take cover! Things are about to heat up!" I'd seen what kind of power he had in this form; he didn't need to tell me twice.

"Human, stop!" I huddled against the wall, lashing out as one of the Goblimon swung his arms at me again. Agunimon was engaged with the other, flipping over his club and shooting small darts of fire from his hands. The Goblimon attempted a punch but missed, receiving a knee in the stomach.

"Pyro Tornado," Agunimon yelled as flames began to spurt from his body. The Goblimon froze, staring at him in disbelief. He began to spin around, the heat radiating from him making me question whether or not it was a good idea for him to do this inside. Then, out of the flames, a massive, three toed leg emerged, striking the Goblimon full in the chest. He let out a low, stunned grunt as his body turned completely black. A periwinkle ring of sparkling energy surrounded the shadow, spinning and warbling. Agunimon pulled out the D-Tector, which looked strangely right, as if the small device had been resized to fit the larger hands, and ran it across the blue stream dramatically. "Fractal Code Digitized!" I had no idea what that meant, but the fact that the bizarre red apparatus was sucking the light, which I could only assume to be the 'fractal code', into it made me think that maybe he'd just killed the Goblimon. Or stored him, this was the _Digital _World. Maybe that's what happened to an opponent when you defeated them, they were stored. Maybe that's what would happen to me when I found the Spirit; I'd be put aside, turned into data and put in a corner. I didn't know. The Goblimon dissolved and Agunimon stared at is D-Tector, looking very pleased with himself. I stared at Agunimon, looking utterly bewildered and a little frightened.

"What," I tried, swallowing the dry lump in my throat. "What did you just-" Something grabbed my ankle, extracting a sharp gasp from me. It was about then that I began to feel exceedingly stupid. There were two Goblimon, one had just been 'digitized' by Takuya while the other had sat watching and now seemed absolutely determined to deliver me to Nabikasumon before he suffered the same fate.

"Kouichi," yelled Agunimon, spinning around.

"Come on! Come here human!"

"Let go," I shrieked, trying to kick him off. His grip was too strong, he barely noticed my struggle. He picked me up like a sack despite my thrashing, and then dropped me suddenly. There was the sound of wood splintering and next thing I saw was J.P. fall to the ground, still clutching the remainders of a wooden board. The Goblimon was staring down at him, looking mildly curious and confused.

"Get back," screamed a voice as the massive flame creature rushed at the green goblin. I shrank against the wall, covering my head as splinters showered down. There was the dull thud of flesh hitting flesh and another "Fractal Code Digitized". Then there was nothing but gasping breath, my own and others. "Boo-yaw," exclaimed Takuya's voice enthusiastically. I peered through my arms tentatively.

"Need a hand," asked a voice from somewhere above me and I looked up to see J.P. offering his. I took it gratefully and he pulled me to my feet with a strength I hadn't expected.

"I am good!" Takuya was doing a small victory dance by the shattered crates as Bokomon and Neemon looked on incredulously. They most have followed us here.

"Idiot! You nearly got Kouichi killed! How 'bout paying some attention to the little guy _before _you stampede over him!"

"I had it under control, jeez."

"Didn't look that way from where I was standing!"

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were too scared to come!"

"Apparently, cleaning up after you! Don't you get it? This is _dangerous. _It's not a game!"

"Kouichi's fine isn't he?"

"This time." I didn't like the way J.P. said that, as if he was expecting me to drop dead at any second. Takuya looked ready to hit J.P. and J.P. looked ready to pounce on Takuya. Bokomon and Neemon looked about as reluctant to get between them as I was and this arguing, once again, was getting us nowhere. I looked towards the passage, the way to all our goals. The dark power began to swell within me again, reminding me of the desperation of the situation, giving me the strength to overcome my natural trepidation and march to the secret passage. I followed it, brushing between the fighting boys silently, my dark eyes fixed on the lever.

"Hey, what gives? Can't you see we're in the middle of something?"

"That's mature. Did it occur to you that maybe Kouichi doesn't want to listen to you yell?"

"No one's talking to you J.P.," he snapped, his hands balling into fists.

"Well, maybe if they did we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"What mess? I told you, I have everything under control!"

"And I've told you, you're delusional!"

"Oh! We're getting left behind," squeaked Neemon, pointing at me as I pulled the lever and opened the passage.

"Kouichi, dear boy, where _are _you going?" Bokomon seemed flustered as he chased after me, hovering about my knees.

"This way," I breathed, pausing only for a moment before I passed over the threshold and back into the torch-lit passage. The calling was strong now, my palm pulsing strangely. They paused for a moment, staring at me oddly before resigning themselves to my lead. A silence thick as red bean paste settled around us, broken only by huffs from J.P., the barely contained snarls emitting from Takuya's general direction, and Bokomon's warning tuts. Awkward, but I was fast approaching not caring. I had to get to Nabikasumon, to find the Spirit of Darkness or a way out of this mess that didn't involve becoming evil, I didn't know. The firelight sent the shadows into a mournful waltz across the ceiling and walls, scuttling beneath our feet. My eyes would deceive, words were simply an efficient way to lie, even my own mind, especially my own mind, was unreliable, tainted by the darkness. The only thing that remained true, that I could trust, was how I felt. Everything else had an agenda, a plan for me. Whether it be Cherubimon's words trying to seduce me or Bokomon's worried glances trying to change me, only what I felt was my own. I couldn't let anything else influence me. And right now I _felt _the need to go to Nabikasumon, mixed in with rather intense fear, but a need nonetheless. Reason was not part of the equation.

My footsteps quickened, light and silent. J.P. huffed a protest and Takuya snorted, easily lengthening his stride as the Digimon's choppy steps echoed noisily. Irrelevant, there was no where left for them to go but to their goal, they no longer needed me. I could take care of myself now. I broke into a run, the sense of urgency tight in my chest. They followed, their feet slapping loudly on the damp, stone floor. There was no other way to go now, no other way to escape. My legs and lungs were starting to burn painfully, yet somehow I barely noticed the sensation. A chill was spreading from behind my eyes and from my left palm, creeping through me, wrapping around my heart like a collar and pulling me forward. "Kouichi, slow down, will ya!" Words, meaningless and empty. I had a greater purpose, a fate, a power. The power of Darkness. It seethed within me, fueling, summoning... consuming. I wanted it; I wanted to seize it, to give in, to stop fighting and surrender.

I burst into the light of the main room and halted, my breath coming in searing gasps. Takuya skidded beside me as J.P., no doubt in an attempt to avoid a collision, jumped to my other side and fell over, the Digimon landing on top of him in an almost comedic way. The tall chair was gone, though the light cyan post surrounded by its burgundy ring which slanted up from the floor at the center of the room was still there. On top of the post there appeared to be a type of crane, brownish red, its hook hanging past the platform to the floor. If that had been there before, I hadn't noticed. Snimon was to the left of the burgundy ring, watching in amusement as a pair of Goblimon harassed about four Kokuwamon. They were saying something along the lines of it was unbecoming for a slave to have the audacity to try and leave their work early (a phrase they had probably picked up from Nabikasumon) while Snimon gloated superiorly. Nabikasumon himself was nowhere in sight.

"That's Snimon," said Bokomon in shock from his awkward position on Neemon's back. "He's a preying mantas type Digimon with blades for hands. His special attack is Twin Sickles. Takuya, for goodness sake be careful!"

"Hey you," called Takuya, ignoring Bokomon and pulling out his D-Tector once more. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size? Execute, Spirit Evolution!" Out of the corner of my eye I saw the periwinkle bands surround him once more as the flame Digimon Agunimon replaced the human body, but I didn't flinch away or even move as his form threatened to knock me over. Snimon looked up to see who had interrupted his fun, his eyes traveling over Agunimon and J.P. before resting on me.

"You," he hissed, turning and raising his blades threateningly. The Goblimon took one look and scattered, leaving the frightened Kokuwamon in a huddle. "So, the serpent was right, you have returned, human. And you brought the Sprits with you, how nice."

Something inside me twanged, indignation, and I opened my mouth to protest.

"Kouichi, what's he talking about," asked J.P., suspicion creasing his brow. A faint gurgle escaped my throat as I looked at Snimon. "You didn't sell us out, did you?"

"Sell you out," laughed Snimon mirthlessly. "That boy no longer has the will power to take that kind of initiative. He may have escaped before, but the pull of the dark is too strong for a mere human to resist. Nabikasumon has him now, his fate is sealed." I stood, rooted to the spot as the meaning of his words sunk in. So this was... just another illusion. Had I really brought them back because of some command, for Nabikasumon? Nabikasumon was nothing though, just a servant like any other, sent to fetch me. He was low level, beneath me from what I could tell. If he was my superior, why didn't he have the Spirit? Why did they need me? Because I was the one with the darkest heart, the one chosen by the Spirit of Darkness. I owed no allegiance to him; it was Cherubimon-sama who had a hold on my mind. My resolve was still my own, no matter what had happened. I still had a choice. I would not admit to any external influence, even if there was a dark power not quite my own inside of me.

"No," I grunted, my left hand contorting into a claw like fist as ice pored through it. I grasped it discretely, wincing. "No, I- I didn't." The darkness inside wanted me to accept it and stop pulling back while the humanity that hadn't quite been swallowed up was clinging to existence. But my humanity wasn't strong enough for this, it couldn't save me here. Only the darkness had the power I needed. "They came for their own reasons; I only showed them the way. My will's stronger then you or he thinks." My fist clenched against the cold, a fine sweat wetting my back as I tried to maintain a bit of myself in the void that was spreading within me. I was the one in control here, the Son of Darkness as he had called me. They needed me and perhaps I would acquiesce to their requests. But I was no mere tool or lap dog that would play fetch on command."I won't be used so easily." Snimon frowned, or he would have if his features could twist that way, raising his blades menacingly. I stood my ground, Agunimon burning beside me and J.P. pushing himself up by my feet.

"In that case, I was right and you're useless! Twin Sickles!" I felt J.P. tackle me as a cross of purple energy brushed by us. We hit the ground with a dull thud about half a meter away, much closer to the Kokuwamon than I thought possible in retrospect.

"Whoa," yelled Takuya, dodging the energy and flipping to the side. "Pyro Darts!" I'm not sure how it happened, but he began to shoot little bits of fire from the back of his hand at Snimon, who took the blows easily and rushed at him. Agunimon dodged the blades, but caught the tail full in the chest. He flew back several meters and slammed into the wall, leaving a sizable dent. As he slid down Snimon caught him about the waist and flew him up to the platform, dumping him roughly to the floor. He rolled and recovered, shooting more darts. Unfortunately, his aim was a little lower than it should have been. Fire rained down around us as J.P. grabbed my left wrist and pulled me to the huddle of Kokuwamon. He let go quickly, as if burnt, staring at his hand in awe.

"You're freezing," he yelped. I gave him my best perplexed look, but pulled my left arm across my body nonetheless.

"It's nothing," I stated warningly. He gave me a sideways look, but didn't pursue the subject. "Do you think there's a way to help him," I asked, nodding towards Agunimon. We couldn't see him anymore, but the fight was quite audible and it didn't sound like the bug was losing.

"I don't know. He's not doing too well, is he?" I shook my head soberly, glancing from the frightened Kokuwamon to the passage and around the room, trying to avoid Bokomon, who was staring at me keenly. "If only I had a Spirit," he burst out angrily, making me jump. "Then at least I could fight! It's not fair!"

"I'm sorry," I comforted, reaching out to him then, remembering his last response to my touch, pulled back. The dark strength I hadn't quite rejected whispered something within me, something bold and blunt, something that I would never say but had to be said. "But neither of us have Sprits, so there's no use moping about it." The words just spilled from me, uncensored and tactless.

"Exactly, neither of us have Spirits! We can't do anything! We're useless, helpless!" Something began to buzz inside my chest, signaling the approach of an oddly familiar presence. A tugging sensation, a greater purpose, a calling. Getting closer. I shrugged it off and continued.

"Well, we can't just sit here and let Takuya handle everything by himself."

I gasped, suddenly and sharply. It was close now, like a magnetic force grasping at the darkness within me. I tried to resist it and press on, to get J.P. on track and hopefully survive this day. "We need to help him somehow. We need some kind of plan." He gave me a particularly glum look. My stomach clenched and my vision darkened. I couldn't keep fighting; eventually I'd have to surrender to this temptation. "J.P., listen to me," I said urgently. "We have to-" I was cut off suddenly, my breath stopping. A high pitched warbling breathed across my mind, making me freeze. I was getting very strange looks from J.P. and Bokomon, but it was getting more and more difficult to focus on them. There was someone else, someone else in my mind. I closed my eyes tightly, and then opened them again, as if to try and wake up from a bad dream. "We... need... to..." The sound was getting louder, unbearably so. I wanted to cry out, to cover my ears and block out the sound, but my body had gone ridged. Nabikasumon's mist was cooling my head and palm, running up my arm and causing a strange mixture of dread and excitement to fill my chest. I felt my body turn to face the cyan post at the center of the room. He was coming, snaking his way up the pillar slowly, towards Agunimon. I could hear his voice in my head, his poisoned honey words whispering through my thoughts _'Relax, just give in. You can't help them; they're only human, creatures of light. They will hold you back. Come. Come to me and I'll show you to everything you'll ever need. I'll take you to Cherubimon-sama, to the Spirit of Darkness. Don't resist your heart. Don't resist me.' _I closed my eyes and looked away, the muscles in my neck straining against the drive to stare up at him. What had he done to me? J.P. followed my gaze and let out a gasp.

"What is that thing," he demanded, the revulsion clear in his voice.

"Nabikasumon, a serpent type Digimon. Be wary of his Ebony Taint as its grasp is not easily escaped," said Bokomon knowledgeably, a hint of panic in his voice. My hands coiled into fists, my jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. _'Why do you fight me? Abandon these fools and embrace the darkness.'_

"Kouichi, Kouichi! What's wrong? What's the matter with you?" He reached towards me again, his fingers brushing my shoulder. The contact burnt, like Takuya's touch in the tunnel, like fire and pain and everything I hated in this world. My eyes snapped open, black and void. Black tendrils of transparent fog burst from my left palm, wrapping around my wrist and partially up my forearm, writhing impatiently. My right hand grabbed the infected arm just below the elbow instinctively and held it as far away from my body as it would go, as if to try and hold back the bitter pressure that was spreading from the old wound like my blood was freezing. J.P. backed away from me as I stumbled, gazing in horror at the spectacle. "What the! Bokomon, what's going on?"

"I don't know," said Bokomon quietly. I could feel his eyes on me, stern and analyzing. He wanted answers. Considering I did too, it seemed like a good idea to assist him.

"It's the Nabikasumon," I said through gritted teeth, trying my best to be helpful. "Before, when they were holding me here, he did something to me." My eyes were squinted against the paralyzing sensation that had spread through my body, so I couldn't really gauge their reactions to this particular bit of information.

"Did something? Like, how?" Based off the panic in J.P.'s voice, they weren't taking the news in stride so easily.

"He- he bit me." Someone gasped. I winced as I felt the black veins push up past my elbow and the black chords reached up towards my shoulder.

"This has to be the Ebony Taint then," said Bokomon knowledgeably, staring at me with hard, analytical eyes. "It gives Nabikasumon limited control over an infected individual's darkness, usually making them vulnerable to his suggestions, giving him insight into their fears, things like that. This attack is usually used in battle to give him an advantage; I've never heard of anything like this before. This is... extraordinary. I'm not even sure what exactly is happening." Insight into my fears, huh? So, he was trying to manipulate me. Just like everybody else. I was so tired of being nudged around and told what I should and shouldn't think or how I was supposed to feel. He couldn't exploit me, I would not allow it. My own darkness was flowing through me, combating and merging with Nabikasumon's, answering my call much quicker than I'd ever expected and bending easily to my will. My eyes began to take on a garnet hue as my skin paled, a physical embodiment of my resolve. I swayed uncertainly as I both fought and encouraged the black rushing through my body.

"Wh- what," stammered J.P. incredulously. "If it's just an attack, one that happened hours ago, then how is that possible?" He pointed towards the living cords about my arm. My knees buckled beneath me and I crumpled, barely able to keep from falling over onto my face. Bokomon ran to my side, hovering over me but not touching. My face was screwed up in concentration as I willed Nabikasumon's darkness back within myself, so I barely noticed. The vapor seethed across my skin for a moment longer, then constricted and sank back into the flesh of my arm. As far as anyone could see the attack had passed, but the chill remained, as did the sensations inside me. I knew where the mist had gone, back into the dark veins that were spreading from the old wound; the dark veins that were branching steadily towards my heart. I could feel them now, climbing upward, pushing insistently forward.

"Kouichi, are you all right?" I nodded sharply as my mouth had gone dry. The gesture seemed satisfy him, at least for the moment, so Bokomon turned his attention back to J.P. "Things are different in this world," he scolded. "An internal conflict can take on a very real form here. Things you only imagine or images that are only in your mind can take on a physical form. Takuya, a human boy not from this world, has become a powerful Digimon, for goodness sake. I suggest you take note of that!"

"He's supposed to take notes?"

"J.P.," I said coldly, forcing myself to look at him as I flexed my fingers. He flinched when he met my dull gaze, but didn't retreat. "Go help Takuya."

"I can't just leave you alone here," he protested, giving my arm a wary look.

"There's nothing you can do for me," I snapped. He looked hurt, but I didn't care. "Takuya's facing two powerful Digimon alone and when he loses they will take his Spirit and then they will _get rid_ of him. Then they'll come after you and everyone else and they don't care that you're kids or you never wanted to get involved. They'll get rid of you too. Do you understand me?" He looked away, dejected.

"But... I don't have a Spirit. I can't fight."

"You can't throw the punches and fire balls. There are other ways to fight." He refused to look at me, sulking in his physical weakness. I sighed, softening my voice manipulatively. "So you don't have magical powers, join the club. Use your brain. What can you do as a human to help Takuya fight?" J.P. dropped his chin onto his chest, looking utterly hopeless. "Think!" My voice changed with that last word, becoming darker, more powerful, adult and almost gravely. It was a Digimon's voice, the voice of the Spirit of Darkness channeled through me. The young teen looked at me in astonishment, a glint of fear in his bright eyes. I held his gaze, willing him to do as I demanded. Slowly, he blinked at me, then he turned to look up, his eyes wandering for a moment before fixing on the crane. "Well?"

"I think I have an idea," he muttered thoughtfully, a twinkle in his eyes I had never seen before. Grinning insanely at his own brilliance, J.P. turned to the Kokuwamon who were still cowering nearby. "Hey guys," he asked confidently. "Could you give me a lift?" The Kokuwamon started then, glancing around to make sure he was, in fact, addressing them, nodded in a tentative agreement. J.P. gave them a reassuring grin and climbed onto their backs. It took four of them, but they were air born quickly enough, hovering momentarily as J.P. thought out his plan. "Take me up to that crane," he ordered, pointing. "I'll take it from there." The Kokuwamon buzzed in acknowledgement, starting their journey upward, their faces set in passive determination.

"J.P., be careful," cried Bokomon, following him towards the crane's base as best he could, Neemon almost obliviously tagging along behind him. I was left alone, slumped against the wall, grasping my left arm as if that could keep the numbness from creeping towards my heart. On the one hand I felt a little abandoned, yet on the other my orders had been obeyed. I'd told them to leave me and help Takuya, and they had. I'd said they could fight without powers, and they were. I couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of power rushing through me as I thought about it, the euphoria of being important. If it felt this agreeable to have power, how would it feel to use it? Use it not just to twist people, but to gain retribution on them for all of my suffering. Of course, I didn't mean Takuya and Zoe and the others, but there were those out there who deserved it. The ones that had made mine and my mother's lives a living Hell. We could exist in this world, why couldn't I obtain the power of darkness and take it back to the human world? Maybe, just maybe, there was a way to salvage this. Maybe things weren't as they seemed.

There was a large banging noise and I looked up just in time to see the crane's neck spin around and nock Snimon away from Agunimon. He was thrown across the room into the opposite wall, his scythe-like limbs slicing into the metal and lodging him securely several meters above the walkway. "Yeah! Way to go, J.P.," cheered Takuya.

"Excellent thinking," Bokomon complimented, looking as proud as if he himself had been responsible for the success. J.P. out right beamed, giving everyone a thumbs up.

"Don't be so cocky," hissed a voice from the wall. With a snarl, Snimon pulled one arm from the jagged metal and moved as if to slice through something behind him, sending an arc of purple energy blindly across the room. It flew erratically through the air, colliding with the crane. The thing collapsed, the chamber where J.P. had been sitting in divided into two distinct pieces, one still attached to the neck of the crane, the other was falling through the air with the human boy. The Kokuwamon caught the boy, but the hunk of metal continued to the ground. The hook of the crane and the chain it was attached to swung unrestrained, smashing into the cyan post with a defining crack. Snimon buried his head back into the wall. Agunimon shielded his eyes. Bokomon and Neemon jumped back away from the debris. The Kokuwamon shied away from the steam and dust. I threw up my hands, pulling my body into a tight ball as small bits of metal sprayed towards my feet. Scratch that plan; it was good while it lasted, but without that crane I wasn't sure what else we could do. I had to get out of here, my human body was much too easily damaged, I was in danger. Something slipped in front of me, protecting me from the debris and coiling on the floor around me.

"You don't believe we would allow any harm to come to you?" I jerked, dropping my arms abruptly, surveying the creature that had come to my aid. It was Nabikasumon. The one who would take me to Cherubimon-sama, the one that would ensure my fate. He'd come for me again and I knew I should have been afraid, yet the idea to run or the desire to get away never entered my mind. "You're much too valuable for that," Nabikasumon cooed from my left, his head hovering closer to the passage than the rest of his encircling body suggestively. I looked over at him, my dull black eyes locking with his pale amethyst orbs. He thought he could control me, manipulate me, use me. Perhaps I was nothing more than a weak human; maybe I did need him. But I was still human and I still had my pride.

"Valuable," I scoffed, letting my cold anger and distrust saturate the word. "So you can use me like these other fools to blindly do your will?"

"Not my will, Kouichi-sama," he hissed dully, whispering into my mind. "_His _will. We all do his will; you would be wise to remember that."

"Of course," I spat, undirected rage building in my chest, pulsing beneath my skin.

"Come with me." It wasn't a suggestion. "Come with me now."

"No," I said flatly, unblinking. His eyes darkened as his patience thinned, crimson leaking into them like blood staining water. I looked away, back towards the battle. There was something within the cyan post, exposed by the toppled crane. A bright light was burning inside of it, emanating from an object about the size of a watermelon, floating in a beam of light. I couldn't make out its exact shape, but I had this gut feeling as to what it was.

"The Spirit of Thunder," whispered Bokomon in awe from his position three meters away.

"Finally," exclaimed J.P. as the Kokuwamon set him down in front of the light and he pulled out his blue and yellow D-Tector. "This time it's mine," he muttered to himself, staring at the glowing object with a mixture of joy and anticipation. There wasn't a hint of fear in his stance or voice, nothing in his eyes but determination. As if on instinct, he held the D-Tector out with both hands towards the Spirit scanning side out. It hovered for a moment longer, then it was sucked into the D-Tector and periwinkle bands surrounded J.P.'s body. "Execute, Spirit Evolution!" Just as they had Takuya, the data engulfed the human and when it faded a large, beetle-like creature had replaced the blue and yellow jumpsuit wearing boy. A Digimon, the Legendary Warrior of Thunder. "Beetlemon!" Where J.P. had stood there was now a giant creature, Agunimon's size and remotely human shaped, but sharing nothing else with anything I had ever seen. It was massive and wide, dark sky blue and yellow in color, with a large shell on its back and armor across every inch of his body. He had large shoulders and a crest on his head that resembled that of a rhino beetle. Once again, I was surprised. The Digital World never presented me with what I expected.

"Wow," praised Takuya.

"Amazing," muttered Bokomon.

"Do you see him, human? Do you see what he has become?" Nabikasumon's voice was biting as ice, the poisoned sweetness coating it thinly. "A Digimon, a Legendary Warrior. Do you comprehend what that means?" I remained silent, staring at the dignified creature as J.P. resurfaced and started dancing around joyfully. "He's powerful now, much more powerful than even he imagines. The entire Digital World is his to command, they will listen to him, fear him. He can shape the world as he pleases." One of his tails snaked its way closer to me, wrapping loosely around my wrist. I pulled back, getting to my feet and give the serpent Digimon my fiercest look. If anything, that just seemed to please him. "However, the Spirit of Darkness is vastly more powerful that he is. With your heart at its core, nothing will stop it from covering this world in darkness! Some will challenge you, but they will fail, falling in your wake. Think of how it will feel when that strength rushes in your blood. Think of the things you could do, of the wrongs you could right. With such power, who knows, perhaps you could help your poor mother." I jerked, my back pressed against the wall as I tried to edge away. "Embrace the darkness within you and abandon these idiots."

"These idiots are my friends," I whispered. My resolve was wavering; I couldn't let his words influence me.

"Your friends? Look at them, Kouichi-sama. See how they look out for each other? They don't care about you, they don't even notice you. Just like Kouji."

"Don't you bring him into this!"

"He is this!" I closed my eyes, trying desperately to maintain my objections, clinging to the fading voice of humanity. "You are blind if you can't see that. All your pain, all your suffering, it their fault, his fault."

"You can't prove that," I breathed, looking down. It wasn't a denial, no matter how hard I tried to make it one.

"I can." I looked up to him suspiciously. His orb-like eyes were purple again, his smug confidence overflowing. "Come with me, I'll show you. Then you'll understand." My hands coiled into fists and I looked remorsefully back towards the others. Beetlemon was battling Snimon, and winning. Snimon's Twin Sickles were useless, the purple energy breaking against the armored body. The confrontation wouldn't last much longer, and when it was over, there would be no more distractions. My time would be out, I would have to face them and choose. Human or Spirit. I wasn't ready for that. "Kouichi-sama, come. Let Cherubimon-sama grant you the power you deserve. Power to obliterate your pain, power to make those who caused it suffer. The Power of Darkness!" There was no other way. I nodded.

I at least needed to hear what he had to say, see his proof. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew this was it, what my life had been leading up to. Good or evil, this was my fate, regardless of whether or not I was willing to accept it. All this time stalking Kouji, hunting him and fearing the meeting that had to come. All the lies to keep Mom away and unsuspicious, the silent cries for affection she couldn't afford to give me. All the silent evenings nursing her back to health, watching as the world tore at her still living flesh, killing her slowly and painfully in front of her own son. All the classmates pushed away for fear that they would discover the secret that was devouring me, the struggle to be all that Kouji was and more. The blind looks from my father as he stared through me. The laughter and joy inside the expensive house. The jealousy, the rage, the pain, the terrible isolation. The loneliness, all built up, ready to explode out and destroy whatever happened to be most accessible. Ready to be selfish for once in my life.

There was an awful gnawing sensation within me, an ache I had been trying to escape for so long; I couldn't remember when I first began to sense it. These guys didn't need or want me around, I couldn't get back to the mother my obsession had made me a stranger to, my own brother couldn't or wouldn't even notice me. Maybe Cherubimon-sama was right, maybe the only place for me, my only refuge, was the Darkness. Maybe that was where I belonged. Nabikasumon slithered into the tunnel and I paused for a moment longer. Bokomon was staring in wonder at Beetlemon, watchful eyes taking in every detail. I grinned mirthlessly, preparing to move on, when he suddenly turned around to face me. Black eyes met black and his questions disappeared into my empty gaze. "Keep your promise," I muttered quietly. He gave me a worried glance and reached out to me, but I shook my head solemnly. Bokomon understood, dropping his hands and looking afraid. For me, for himself, or for the Digital World, I couldn't tell. I turned to follow Nabikasumon, his little black eyes on my back, the only one to so much as notice I'd left.

* * *

I was standing in the dark forest, the rain pouring down my spine, the cold seeping into my skin. The dead trees loomed around me, poking oddly out of the claustrophobic black mist that continued to close in. The shadows whispered at my feet greedily, reaching out to absorb me. One of them coiled about my ankle tentatively, as if to see if I would try to run away again. I didn't move. The dark vines wrapped about my body, first restraining me by grabbing at my wrists and waist, then slowly cocooning me. I didn't resist as they engulfed me; I didn't even blink. My dull, lifeless, black eyes stared straight, my breath slow and relaxed, almost trancelike. I allowed the darkness to swallow me, to wash away the pain, the fear, to seal away my human heart. I didn't want to feel any more, I didn't want to know. If this was the only way to stop the pain, to be strong and finally free, so be it. Cherubimon's pleased laugh rumbled in my chest, and then I sank into the darkness.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Success! Please do not concern yourselves with punishing me for my tardiness as IB has already done so. I have lost (unhealthy weight loss, mind you. I did not have weight to loose) 5 lbs due to IB projects! First, Extended Essay, 3500 words in French, then, finished, but wait! History IA and TOK Essay! Finished, but wait! Business IA and revisions on TOK Essay! And always Chemistry lab reports and BC calculus! Now I get a week for Thanksgiving. Joy! So I sat down, disregarded the Business IA, TOK revisions, and ever present college applications and over the course of four days the final chapter of **_**Fate**_** was born. Please enjoy and be kind, but I had to be sure it was as close to perfect before I presented it. Any, who, excuses done. Have fun!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Digimon or these characters, why would I be killing myself with IB?

* * *

**

Every thing's blurry... I'm not sure what has happened. I was in a bright place- a factory. There were people there, like me yet separate from me. Inferior? Yes... inferior to me. That's what I remember. They were fighting something, a monster, evil and on the right side. My side. How can that be? It doesn't really matter, just curious is all. I did not fight because I couldn't. I can't. Not yet... but soon, when I get my power. Yes, that's it. That's why I'm here. My power. But where is here? I left with the serpent, left the others to their pointless and futile battle to wage my own. I wonder who I'm fighting. It feels like I should remember... or like it doesn't matter. I should serve my master, that much I know. But still...

We walked a long way and no distance at all through warped fog. Wait... no. I'm not sure. Was there really fog, or was it all in my mind? Did we walk? Or did he carry me like a stranger returns a lost puppy to its owner. Lost- yes, that's right. Lost and returning. This is right, yet still wrong. I slept a long time and now I'm awake. The black of the suffocating warmth is tight about me, cloth of the straight-jacket saving me from the overwhelming question- the overwhelming oddness I can't quite remember. Soft and comfortable, I don't want to move. The ebony walls grow from the floor and spread across the ceiling in a dark canopy, paneled like twisting trunks of the eternal forest. The air outside is ice, I don't want to get up. The bliss of forgetfulness, the bliss of lies. I feel absolute apathy. And still something pulls me, calls me. Something is wrong... in my heart. How long has it been since the others? Since the fight? How long have I been here?

I squirm and the sheets come away reluctantly. Freed. I push my self up into the damp chill of the room and my feet touch a cold, moist ground of solid midnight. A shiver trips down my arms, cries out in protest, and is quickly forgotten. Numbness spreads. I don't remember how I got here or why, but it's not important. Not at all. I don't care. I feel no hunger; I hardly feel the cold or the air. Perhaps I have eaten reacently. I see darkness and walk towards a beckoning oblivion, chill mixing with my blood. There is little light, but I do not require it. I do not need to see. I know where I'm going, as if I have been there countless times before and simply cannot recall each visit. Perhaps I have made this journey countless times before and the sleep has simply corrupted my memory. Yet the hall ends quickly as honey from a spoon and I am somewhere unfamiliar. Perhaps I have never made it this far. The accomplishment should excite me, but I feel nothing. Curious.

There is water in this room, large pools like forest springs with steaming water slipping down a pile of rocks, guilty as an unkept secret while buckets sit on the sides vacant and cold. They seem undecided, teetering between the inviting warmth of the pool and the glass wall with its gleaming moonlight faucets. The light comes from beneath the surface, glittering somewhere far away. Unreachable. I could try to find its truth, to seek its embrace, but I would fail. Others may be welcomed by the light, but not me. Besides, it hurts my eyes... my heart. I grab a bucket and move to the darkest corner next to the mirror. I know what I'm supposed to do, know how and why I'm supposed to do it, I'm not insane. I simply don't remember where I learned. I've simply forgotten all useless information. All information that could hold me back, that fights the fate I so desire right now. There isn't much before now... must not be important. It's all in the future. I must prepare. I tug the clothes that covers my chest over my head, because it would be silly to get them it wet (I remember that in a woman's voice with a kind smile, but she has lost her significance to me) and start the flow of water. It's so cold, unexpectedly cold. I should embrace the bitterness, it makes me strong, but the pain is unbearable. It burns!

I jump back, away from the bite of thousands of teeth devouring my flesh and the bucket clatters onto its side. Silence fragments like a dream of contentment. The noise reverberates, provoking the walls into laughter. Loud and harsh. I cover my ears and try to scream, but they just continue to laugh at me, drowning me. Disoriented. Then a soft order quiets them and they raise long, shadowed fingers to their commander. A figure in the glass. Familiar yet strangely alien. I know him... I know him... Distorted and intolerable. His form is twisted and his eyes hollow. He moves when I do, as I do, but he's not me. He's not me... he can't be. His dark hair, so like mine, hangs low over haunting eyes with their small pupils and glowing irises. His skin is white like steamed rice and inhuman as ivory, smooth and hard and pitiless. His face holds not reaction nor recognition, like a mask, his lips pale as the dead. His eyes are hard, glowing garnets, ghostly and hypnotic and cruel. His right arm ends in spider fingers and his left...

In my mind I am horrified yet the boy in the glass does not notice. He doesn't realize he is a monster. He doesn't see the evil in his eyes. His left hand is like a glove of dying vines swallowing what was once human flesh. Thick veins cling greedily to his arm and rest cold twig hands on his shoulder and across his heart. Almost bulging with their infection yet not quite... I should be afraid, but I'm not. I'm more stunned. I reach out to touch him, to feel if he is more than a nightmare from the half-conscious plane, but my fingers find only smooth glass. He's not me. I press my hand against his, but it has no skin. It feels like the air around him. He can't be me. The wrongness floods back; fear tightens my ribs painfully against my organs. He must not be me. I reach down discreetly, so that he might not see my treachery, my fingers close about the handle of a bucket brimming with the ice water. He smirks at the futility of my actions, but doesn't move. He's come from my future, he knows what I'm going to do. His stare freezes me. Horror creeps into his eyes like an uncertain and reluctant savior, my horror. His lips form a single word, but my blood ponds too loudly for me to hear him. He's trying to become me. He wants to be me- No!- he wants me to be him. Mania wraps his hands around my throat, constricting until I can't stand any more. I swing the bucket and shatter the dam of my memories.

Some of the water splashed onto me like a spray of needles, but I barely noticed to tell the truth. I stood there panting slowly for what seemed like an eternity, my grip on the splintered bucket rigid as death itself. As I stared at my own twisted reflection its eyes slowly faded back to a dull black where pupil was indistinguishable from iris. They'd changed back, but only partially. A part of me wondered vaguely if they would ever regain their navy color... while another, more prevalent part hoped they wouldn't. To have blue eyes was to be weak and human and that was unacceptable. As a human I was powerless, I'd never be able to make those who hurt me pay. That's why I had come here. That's what I truly wanted. Vengeance on those who had made me and my mother suffer, on this vile world of light that I so despised. To accomplish that goal I needed power, and to get power I needed the Spirit of Darkness. If I wanted the Spirit of Darkness, I needed to go to Lord Cherubimon. It was the only way, the only logical path. My fate.

But to become that creature? That monster, my shell, with little more than hatred to keep it alive? That demon without a soul that wouldn't hesitate. One who could accomplish everything I desired without batting an eye. Was revenge worth that price? Did I hate Kouji that much? Enough to surrender myself and allow the darkness to completely consume me. Was it worth it? Drops of water traced lightly down my back, light as fingers across my skin, pulling my hairs onto their ends. The darkness seethed inside of me, pouting at its own inability to completely suppress my human will. Its own inability to pacify my human morality. Goosebumps whisper across my skin and a gentle prelude of shivers began in my gut. I teetered on the bring of indecision, my reflection staring back at me from the cracked mirror with empty eyes, challenging me to defy it. I wasn't sure I could go against its will, or if I even wanted to, yet still something inside me nagged. Did Kouji really deserve what I wanted to do to him? Did he really knowingly inflict so much pain? Did I really want to hurt him the way he hurt me? Or was it something else entirely? What was it I wanted from him? Was there really no other way to get it? Was it worth it?

The shadows inside me snapped. I felt the black veins in my arm constrict like roots, pulling my arm out of my control. It twisted before me, rigid, my fingers contorted and flexed. The cut on my palm flared anew, as if to remind me what it was that had provoked my anger, and the cold grasped me so tightly it should have bruised. Chills ran across my skin in a frenzy. My insides tightened until I couldn't move, my knees slowly dropping to the ground even as I fought to remain on my feet. Paralyzed, trapped. There was nowhere to run to, no escape from this infection inside me. It had made sure of that. I couldn't breath, my head was going to explode, the ground was going to open up and swallow me. I close my eyes and tried to wish it all away, but I could feel them darkening just behind the lids. The darkness wanted me. The darkness needed me. I was the body it required, the heart that gave it purpose. It would not- could not allow me freedom. Fighting was pointless, it was past the time to just accept the inevitable, but still the question held me back. And until that question was answered, I would not give in. I refused to give in. Then the pressure let up and I was allowed once again to remember myself.

"Can you feel it inside you, Kouichi-sama? Can you hear it singing within you?" The serpent from the inky black slipped into the shadows, his amethyst orbs seeming to glow eerily. Anger bubbled up inside of me as I looked at him, as I remembered who had initiated this violation.

"What did you do to me," I asked quietly. My voice was low and calm, deadly and quavering with the slightest hint of instability. His thin almost-lips twisted in a smirk. I snapped. "What did you do to me!"

My voice echoed around the chamber for a long time before he would answer. "What did I do to you? I've done nothing to you, Kouichi-sama. Nothing but show you the darkness."

"Nothing but show me the darkness?" I wasn't yelling, but my tone cut like a knife through warm butter. I rose to my feet and thrust forward my left hand. "Is this nothing? Is this showing me the darkness?" He glanced at the black webs that crawled just beneath the skin, then stared into my dull, black eyes unblinkingly. The smirk was still playing around his mouth. "Well," I snapped superiorly. "What do you call this?"

"The beginning... the ideal." I flared my nostrils in contempt. "Do you know what those marks are? Do you know what is happening to you? Your body is crying out for the Spirit. It is trying to merge with it on a level unprecedented in our history. What you feel is your fate pulling you to become what you were always meant to be. What only you can be. Do you understand that, Kouichi-sama? You are becoming something greater, something superior to all others, subordinate only to Lord Cherubimon. Does that frighten you."

"No."

"Then why do you ask pointless questions?"

"Because they aren't pointless. Because you're 'ideal' isn't natural." The bite and irony in my tone reeked of Kouji.

"Natural? Kouichi-sama, it is the most natural thing that has ever happened to you. Stop blinding yourself in the light and embrace it. Why do you resist?"

"I don't have to sit here and be interrogated," I snapped before his meaning could really hit me. I was angry, at the world, at the light, at the darkness, and that anger needed to be directed at something. Nabikasumon was as good a target as any. "My fate is my own! I decide what happens to me. Do you understand that?"

"You're heart continues to darken despite your defiance," he hissed, lowering his head to stare straight into my eyes. "You even deceive yourself." I... snarled. There really isn't a better way to describe it. My chin tilted towards my chest and my nostrils flared, pulling my lip slightly away from my teeth.

"And what, pray tell," I hissed "Am I deceiving myself about?"

"What do you think those black marks are?" Evasive snake.

"An infection. A disease you placed inside me."

"It is inside you, true, but I did not place it there."

"What are you talking about!"

"I introduced you to external darkness, true; but my only intention was to heal your wound. It is your own darkness that you see manifested." That got me. I wasn't sure what to say at first. Whether to believe him or not. The concept itself was somewhat revolting. That this mutation was somehow a part of me instead of an external influence, but at the same time I couldn't deny the thrill of truth it sent through me.

"What are you saying," I asked quietly, sounding more like my old, timid, human self than I had in a long time. Nabikasumon regarded me for a moment, his eyes cryptic and contemplative. I felt small and powerless before him... Tiny and unable to stop the shroud of events that fell around me like dead leaves. Defenseless against the waters of fate that rose to swallow me.

"When I use the Ebony Taint, it allows me power over an individuals darkness."

"Yes, I know," I muttered, almost embarrassed by the knowledge. He ignored me, igniting my annoyance.

"This allows me to manipulate said individual physically and mentally, which is how I healed your wound before. It was my intention to bend your will and force you to return to Cherubimon-sama as little more than a mindless servant if nothing else; however, instead of submitting to me as any other would do, you accepted the taint. You took my darkness and used it to fuel your own, morphing it, adapting it to serve your purposes. It is your own darkness that has created the change within you, not mine. Your darkness that seeks the Spirit. Your soul that cries for the power that will free it from the pain. Only your mind bothers to fight this loosing battle. Come with me now. We will go to Cherubimon-sama, and he will grant you your deepest wish. Become one with the Spirit of Darkness and seek vengeance on the brother that has tortured you and the light that has plagued you, for they are one in the same!"

I was silent for a long time. If all he said was true- and it was all true, I could feel it- then there was no choice but to do as he commanded. I wanted to, that much was indisputable. I _needed_ to feel the power of the Spirit of Darkness within me, its ice chill my heart and its strength become my own. It would save me from this world of light that understood so little about me, free me from the bonds of my humanity, and with my pain as my blade smite all that had birthed this monster I longed to become. Such was my fate, what I was meant for, the only direction my path could take. My heart dictated I follow that path and waited giddily to by devoured by darkness. Logic reviled no other way. There was no reason not to accept the offer right then and there and finally surrender. But...

"You said you could prove my pain was all Kouji's fault," I said in a low voice. "You said you could show me beyond doubt why I hate him the way you think I should. I will not go to Lord Cherubimon until I have seen this proof." No matter what I felt, no matter what I wanted, I could not just ignore my Grandmothers words. He was my brother... I had to be certain. Nabikasumon gave me what could best be described as a disappointed and condescending look. I held his amethyst gaze, the crimson stain that seeped into it at my defiance reflected in my own. I may have been a weak human with no purpose other than to become the Warrior of Darkness, but I would not be used. I had to be certain. The air was tense; even the water ceased to sneak down the rocks, as if afraid to ripple the silence. Finally he broke the stare, glancing back towards the shadows he had emerged from.

"Take your bath," he said shortly. "Leave your clothes by the door. I will see that they are cleaned and dried. When that is done return to your room. I will take you to the proof you so desire." He didn't wait for a reply, or even a sign that I had heard and understood him. He simply turned and faded back into the dark, leaving me suddenly very aware of the cold seeping into my skin from my soaked pants and dripping hair.

* * *

I must have been too involved with the popular culture when I was in the human world. Otherwise what Nabikasumon offered up as proof wouldn't have been so unexpected. It was an odd revelation, considering I had been the poster boy for loner child. I rarely watched television or read anything that wasn't for school due to time and availability constraints. I didn't have frivolous discussions with my peers or friends with which to waste time an money at the local beef bowl place. Occasionally I'd engage in small talk with someone in the 7-Eleven when I went to pick up little miscellaneous things for around the house, but other than that I had little contact with the world. Yet another reason to forget that meaningless life and start a new existence here, not dount. Point being, I didn't exactly have a lot of interaction with the pop culture, but when I was told 'proof', a specific and very misguiding image came to mind. Pictures, tape recordings, objects, something physical that I could examine and hold like what the police gather. That was proof in my mind. That was not what I got. Once again, what I would have expected in the Real World was no where to be found in the Digital World. Perhaps if it had been I wouldn't have been so easily swayed.

Nabikasumon met me in my room and, without saying a word, led me from the ancient looking Japanese palace I had been sheltered (or kept, depending on how cynical you are) in to the middle of what I could only identify as a very large, plain forest. We walked, yet I wasn't tired. It must not have been a very long way... that, or my body had just become too numb to feel fatigue. I wasn't sure which was prefferable. The trees had tall, smooth trunks and full, leafy canopies that allowed only a patchwork of sky to glimpse the lush, grassy earth. Small shrubs and bushes dotted the ground here and there as if to form a small labyrinth. Pale light from the three moons crowned the trees and stroked the grass where it filtered through, sharpening every form and highlighting every detail.

There was a time when the forest at night would have frightened me. Now the burn of day hurt my eyes and the light assaulted my heart whenever I was exposed to it, and all I saw in the trees was the inviting beauty of darkness. I wasn't sure why Nabikasumon had brought me here, but after my suspended stay in the palace, it was nice to feel the chill of night air again. After all, who knows how long I had been in there. Days? Weeks? Too long. We were deep in the woods before he said anything to me, and when he finally chose to acknowledge my presence his voice startled me.

"This place is known as the TV Forest. You will find your 'proof' here." I glanced around at the moonlight trees, a perplexed expression in my dark eyes. Nabikasumon coiled himself beneath the nearest canopy, hiding in the shadows and watching me as if to asses my response. For my part, I wasn't sure what reaction I was supposed to be having. I found the forest aesthetically pleasing and the darkness enticing, but how this was supposed to convince me that my brother was demon spawn and that I had to destroy him was beyond me. I was very tempted to ask 'where?' but I held my tongue in favor of saving face. Instead I chose to do what seemed to be the most productive thing at the moment and began to examine a tree. If Nabikasumon had eyebrows, he would have raised them. "It is what is between the trees, what is inside of them, that should interest you." A hint. How kind of him. I shot him a questioning look, seeking some form of clarification, when the darkness in the forest suddenly intensified. Clouds closed their thick fingers around the moons and we were suddenly engulfed in velvety black. Slowly, lights began to flicker around me like ghosts, ripping open the trees trunks to form windows in space and time.

I jumped away when the tree I had been examining was torn open and stumbled back, glancing around furiously as if expecting an attack. There was an apartment complex on one of the trunks, a very familiar complex. It was nestled in between two larger buildings, tucked away, the lower class hidden from the rest of the world. A few steps led up to the walkway that was a prelude to the doors, a path protected from the cars parked in front by a red wall of brick. A single light lit the parking lot and there was a light on in the first apartment on the first floor. There was a door to the right of the window and an address plate to the right of the door. A chill dropped town my throat into my stomach. It was my address, my mother's apartment.

"What is this!"

"Watch. See what Kouji has done to her. See her pain, her anguish. Her loneliness..." The window darkened and the door opened and my mom came out slowly, gripping a jacket around her frail, thin body as a series of hidden coughs racked it. It was pitch black outside save for the street lamp; she was probably trying to get to one of her late night jobs. I couldn't say which one... she had so many. Her hands looked weak and sickly as she pulled the door closed and locked it. This wasn't unusual, I had my own set of keys and, even though break-ins in Japan are virtually unheard of, we both locked to doors whenever we left. A manifestation of our paranoia. Her eyes looked so sunken and empty, as if her spirit had lost the will to feel or think.

All she ever wanted was to give me the best possible life, and it was slowly eating away at her. When we were together I could see at least some semblance of contentment in those deep blue eyes, but now, when she thought I was asleep or knew I was away, the façade of vitality fell away. I could see the worry and terror in her thinning face. Her life consisted of working and paying bills and taking care of me and my grandmother before she died. She deserved so much more than that. But she couldn't afford happiness- we couldn't afford happiness. No matter how hard she worked or how much I tried to help, there was no changing the fact that she was a single mother working alone in a country where women are innately disadvantaged. My heart cried to see her like that, so bare and blunt. No child should have to see their parent cry, but I had. No child should have to bear the knowledge of their hopeless situation, but I did. No son should have to watch his mother die, but I could see it happening everyday. All because we were alone. All because my father and Kouji had left us to our fate, knowing full well what kind of future we could hope for.

The image changed abruptly, but I was not startled. My black eyes were fixed on the screen, my gaze unwavering as the anger Nabikasumon had brought me here to elicit began to boil inside of me. Now the image was one of a house, large and luxurious, with two stories, a yard, and a nice car parked out front. You could probably have fit three of my little apartments onto the first floor. The walls were pale yellow and the grass well watered. I could see right through the windows to the left of the door, despite the iron fence that surrounded the house. My father was inside, staring through the window pensively, his small eyes looked blindly forward from behind his glasses and he had his hands thrust into the pockets of his tan leisure pants, as if digesting a good and filling meal. A woman with short, milk chocolate hair and delicate, well tended features came up behind him, a gentile smile playing on her lips. She took my fathers hand from his pocket and held it for a moment in her own and he looked down at her with affectionate eyes I would never know. He had replace my mother with this girl of glass and traded our happiness for this life of luxury. He had the son he wanted, a strong and loyal boy who could and would fulfill all his traditional duties. The son he took to kendo, who he pampered with a dog, a son he cared about. A son who was not and would never be me. The anger in my gut built into a hot, viscous rage, though none of it was reflected in my features. Kouji and my father had abandoned my mother and rejected me for their happy life, this other woman, and a dog! It was sickeningly unfair. It was grotesque.

The clouds relinquished their hold on the moons and light flooded the forest once more like an infectious disease. The screens on the trees faded back into trunks and the taunting image of my happy father was removed from my sight. I felt relieved. I turned to Nabikasumon to say something, but was cut off by a shill cry from just a few meters away. "Wait, where are you going? Please, don't leave me! Mama!" I recognized the voice instantly. It was the small boy in the orange hat. For a moment I hesitated, unsure of whether or not an investigation was worth the effort, then I quickly turned my back on the serpent Digimon and began to cut through the trees. The warm light of a fire beckoned me forward until I found myself on the outskirts of a camp, _their_ camp. I stopped just outside the reach of their light, hiding in the shadows and watching them curiously. I was... not expecting to find them here and their presence calmed me. Then I saw him.

There, leaning against a tree, casual as you like, was my twin. So, Kouji had decided to join the little band of misfits, how quaint. I shrank further back into the shadows, feeling ice form in my veins. He was apart from the rest of the group, staring up at the sky pensively. Everyone else was about the fire, looking particularly distressed. Tommy was crying, probably feeling the sting of abandonment. A few days earlier I would have felt sympathy for the kid, but at the moment I was too preoccupied with my own misfortunes to really care. Takuya was sitting right next to him trying desperately to either force-feed him an apple or cheer the boy up. Or both. Whatever he was doing, the sobbing stopped and, sniffling just a bit, Tommy accepted the apple with as much gratitude as he could muster. I scowled at the friendliness of the action, jealous. "There you go, little buddy. Hot dogs make everything better!"

"You know, Takuya," commented Zoe with a smile over her shoulder. "The way your acting one might think Tommy's your little brother." Takuya grinned and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly while Tommy bit into the apple that apparently tasted like hot dogs.

"Yeah, well, couldn't just let the guy keep on crying like that, could I?"

"Oh please, Takuya an older brother," shot, Kouji, his eyes closed indifferently. "I'd pity the poor kid condemned to be related to him."

"Hey, I happen to be an older brother! And a darn good one too! Well, maybe not all that good, but better than you!"

"I really hope your a better brother than I am since I don't have a brother." The rejection stung and the denial of my very existence cut deep. I felt the sudden, irrational urge to leap through the trees and shout 'You have no brother? If that's true, then what am I? Where does that leave me? Do you even care?', but thought better of it. As satisfying as berating him would have been, Kouji didn't want to see me and frankly I didn't want to talk to him. Not any more.

"Really, Kouji? You're an only child?"

"Born and raised. Not that it's any of your business."

"Well, since you don't think Takuya's qualified, you can be Tommy's brother," Zoe declared with a sly grin.

"You have got to be kidding."

"But I already have an older brother," protested Tommy naively. Zoe smiled and leaned in to mutter something to him. Like a secret.

"Yeah, but I think it would be good for Kouji to have a brother. He needs some one to look out for him and make sure he doesn't get too serious." Kouji scowled at her from his tree, but she just tossed her golden hair playfully and kept going. "Could you watch him for us Tommy?" Tommy looked from Zoe to Kouji and back then, wiping the final tears from his eyes, grinned and nodded enthusiastically. "So, what d'ya say, Kouji? Think you can handle a brother?" Kouji groaned audibly but, after meeting Tommy's big, green, hopeful eyes, he sighed dramatically and looked back up at the sky.

"Whatever."

"Then it's settled! Tommy can be Kouji's little brother."

"Can I be Kouji's brother too?" A small rock came out of no where and collided with the side of Takuya's head. He let out a yelp, dropping his overly excited and mocking expression to glare angrily at Kouji. The latter just stared up at the stars innocently. "What was that for?! I'm just trying to create a sense of brotherly love!" Zoe snorted and Kouji rolled his eyes, clearly fighting a death glare.

"I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Come on, Kouji. Don't be such a jerk," chided J.P. "I think Zoe has a great idea! You need a sibling to help you lighten up."

"I didn't know you had any siblings, J.P."

"Well... I don't... but-"

"Point proven."

"Oh, come on Kouji, don't be such a stick in the mud. Tommy's a good kid and he's already a great brother!"

"Kouji, do you not want to be my brother?" Kouji shot him a cold look but, upon meeting a big, cute, wet gaze, sighed defeatedly.

"Fine, whatever." Zoe smiled in satisfaction, Takyua grinned smugly, J.P. gave Zoe an impressed look, and Tommy bit into his apple happily. He looked significantly less scared and lonely. They'd formed a bond, a cohesive unit that could withstand the isolating of this world, and suddenly the misfits belonged. They were a group and I wasn't a part of it. With their playful banter they had completely cut me out of their minds and hearts and closed any hole I might have filled. Kouji now occupied my place in their hearts and they had filled mine in his. That was it. I snapped.

It wasn't fair, it was just so unfair. I was sinking, drowning in this pathetic human life and everything I tried to grasp to keep myself from sinking was being pulled away. The notion that I was happy gone when my grandmother shattered the illusion. Thoughts that what I had was enough snapped when I saw my mother's degredation. Hope of a better future dissolved when I saw what my father had taken with him. I'd had one thing, one branch that clung to the earth that I could grip to keep from falling. If I could find Kouji, if I could talk to him, make him see me, then maybe, just maybe, he could make it better. I saw the wound of a lost son in my mother's gut, sensed the unresolved dissonance in our little apartment whenever she looked at me. Kouji could make it better, if I could find him and talk to him, then he would come and make it could be a family again. All I had was that dream, my one tether to reality. Now Kouji showed me the truth... and I wished he'd left me with the lie.

My father didn't want me, he had Kouji, and he didn't want my mother because he had his _other_ woman. Kouji had his family, he didn't need to come and complete mine. We were twins, identical physically, but our lives were so different. Kouji had everything: a father, a family, a life, friends, and I had nothing! There was no good reason for it! My father chose the infant on the left instead of the right and by that choice I was condemned to a life of pain and suffering. He didn't deserve what he had, he had done nothing the earn it. I was the one who worked every day all day to keep a roof over my head and food on the table. I was the one who had to be strong for a failing mother. I was the one who had to give up my childhood fantasies in favor of a more realistic view that kept me alive. I could never have what he did, live like he did, even if I gave my soul for it. I had only two options: try to reason with him or make him feel my anguish. The former was fading by the minute. Even if I jumped through the brush and fell to my knees at his feet and begged right then and there he would just give me that cold stare. He didn't want me. He'd never want me. To him, I didn't exist at all. Beneath the rage and hatred that seethed within me like a monster behind thin bars, the sour stench of his rejection and abandonment began to coil about my gut. Tears started in my eyes as I watched the group mess around light heartedly, Kouji joining in for the occasional playful quip, completely apathetic to the suffering of his own brother.

"Do you see now, Kouichi-sama? Do you understand what has to be done?" I reached toward him remorsefully, the pain in my heart constricting my throat in a poorly repressed sob. I knew, I understood now. It was all so clear. I just wished... Something started beeping quietly in Kouji's pocket. The others were being too loud to notice, but I could hear it. Actually, I could feel it. Kouji pulled it out, a dark device that fit in his hand, yet was all wrong for it. It was a D-Tector, black and grey, with a little light flashing above the screen. My D-Tector; I'd forgotten he had it. Back when I dropped it in the Fire Terminal... I could sense it sensing me, calling me softly, politely. It sought to restore my hope, to counteract the black wrath inside of me. The beeping reverberated in my mind, like blood pulsing through my body. Loud and slow and soothing. Then pain. The loathing black deep inside me rose up the clash violently with the intrusive memory. My skull was contracting, needles of ice in my flesh! Bright lights in my brain, burning, cutting, gnawing! The pain, the beeping, this call back to myself, it was intolerable. I swallowed the screams of agony that threatened to rip through my throat, my fingers gripping my head as if trying to tear out the affliction. I couldn't, I couldn't! The pure darkness stretched kind fingers to my heart as the taint inside me clutched it greedily. Nabikasumon at my back, my brother before me, the conflict threatening to destroy me. The choice was here, I couldn't run any more. Do become the Son of Darkness, or do I find my brother? Do I choose Cherubimon, or Kouji? Do I forgive my brother...

No! Kouji had gone too far, I despised him too much. There was no going back now. I made my choice. The light that caused me so much pain would be extinguished. The brother that didn't know or want to know me would feel my wrath. This existence that had showed me no mercy would receive none. I would blanket this world in darkness! Once I gained the power of the Spirit of Darkness, nothing could stop me! It was my fate, my greatest desire, and finally I shed the meaningless wishes and hopes of my pathetic human existence and embraced the night I so longed for. With one final push, _I _rejected _Kouji's _significance and the gentle call of the D-Tector. The beeping stopped and I straightened, my eyes shadowed and garnet, my skin pale, my heart ice. He was nothing more than the Son of Light, an abomination that I would destroy. The Son of Darkness would smother his luminescence, and any and all that got in my way would suffer the same fate. Darkness would concur light and this world would forever be in its shroud.

"I understand," I said in a deep, monotone voice. "Take me to Cherubimon-sama. I am ready to merge with this Spirit of Darkness."

"As you wish, my Lord," said Nabikasumon, bowing his head respectfully. "This way." As I turned to follow him I caught a pair of small black eyes watching me. He had not heard me, for I had made no sound. More likely he sensed my presence and was just staring in the general direction. I met his gaze, feeling immense satisfaction as the chill from my red eyes spread through the little Digimon's body. He could guess what I was and it gave me a sadistic joy to think of the despair he must have felt in the realization. I gave him a sickeningly sweet smile and left. By the time he gathered his wits enough to verify that something had been staring at him, I'd be long gone. Nothing could have stopped me, nothing could have ever stopped me. All the fighting, all the indecision, it had all been so pointless. After all, it was my fate to become Duskmon. There was never a way to avoid it.


End file.
